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Lake[Lake]
Lake作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2006-10-10
帖子: 1341
来自: Sky Blue Water
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 发表于: 星期四 五月 31, 2007 2:38 pm 发表主题: Evening Stroll |
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Evening Stroll
A winding trail
sunlight dim in the woods
as dusk falls.
Nearby a sudden water splash
a mother duck leads her brood
swimming away.
信步
黄昏
一条蜿蜒的小路上
林中光线晦暝
不远处，突然水声泼刺
一只母鸭领着一群小鸭
怡然游去
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anna[星子安娜]
anna作品集
Site Admin
注册时间: 2004-05-02
帖子: 7141
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| 发表于: 星期四 五月 31, 2007 8:31 pm 发表主题: |
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you are on the right mood for spring. way to go.
This dusk, I also watched ducks and wild geese and relaxed in this lovely scene.
_________________
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Anna Yin
《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...
http://annapoetry.com |
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ZY[ZY]
ZY作品集
五品知州
（再努力一把就是四品大员了！）
注册时间: 2005-10-20
帖子: 226
来自: 台北盆地
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| 发表于: 星期六 六月 02, 2007 8:01 am 发表主题: |
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Again, Lake’s poem reminds me of Haiku.
Interesting use of words in “brood”, and the almost echoing effect of “dusk” and “duck”. Picturesque as usual.
I love poems that use effective images to carry/communicate the underlying motive/meaning/sentiment. This one has nice contrast between a quiet picture in stanza 1 and the splash in stanza 2. There is also the foreshadowing of the dim winding trial and the image of a line of ducks trailing away in the water.
Cheers! |
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Lake[Lake]
Lake作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2006-10-10
帖子: 1341
来自: Sky Blue Water
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| 发表于: 星期六 六月 02, 2007 8:08 pm 发表主题: |
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| anna 写到: | you are on the right mood for spring. way to go.
This dusk, I also watched ducks and wild geese and relaxed in this lovely scene. |
Thanks, Anna.
The scene is the same and out there; it is us, some may see and feel it while others may not. It just happened that day that I had the feel of it. |
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Lake[Lake]
Lake作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2006-10-10
帖子: 1341
来自: Sky Blue Water
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| 发表于: 星期六 六月 02, 2007 8:21 pm 发表主题: |
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ZY,
Love reading your comment, from which I learn how to write better poems. What you said sound as if you were there. Your comment is spot on.
With great gratitude,
Lake |
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