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ZY[ZY] ZY作品集 五品知州 (再努力一把就是四品大员了!)
注册时间: 2005-10-20 帖子: 226 来自: 台北盆地
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发表于: 星期三 四月 11, 2007 10:47 pm 发表主题: until the day |
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until the day, I shall sing on
an old ragged tune, only
to the returning vagabonds
who still my sorrow bear, fondly.
up the hills, they trudge on, 'round trails long-ignored
where mid-autumn dews the frosty moonlight deflect.
and up the hills they clamber, their panting quickly lost
as burnt memories of a stormy night their eyes reflect.
until the day, I shall cling on
to a piece of wintry sky, surrounded by craggy hillsides.
the nomads will the pasture desert and the leaves my window sill cover.
she roams the far valleys, will, across the plains, carry on.
4/11/2007 |
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Lake[Lake] Lake作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2006-10-10 帖子: 1341 来自: Sky Blue Water
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发表于: 星期四 四月 12, 2007 8:30 am 发表主题: |
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lyrical, a touch of classical. good mastery of english language.
not quite sure where "she" in the last line comes from. |
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ZY[ZY] ZY作品集 五品知州 (再努力一把就是四品大员了!)
注册时间: 2005-10-20 帖子: 226 来自: 台北盆地
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发表于: 星期四 四月 12, 2007 8:59 am 发表主题: |
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Thanks for your kind comments.
"she", of course, is an unspecified someone or something that is at a distance.
might have been a bit abrupt, having no inkling earlier in the poem. I thought about that, and decided that a bit of free-association can be part of it.
Thanks. |
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Lake[Lake] Lake作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2006-10-10 帖子: 1341 来自: Sky Blue Water
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发表于: 星期四 四月 12, 2007 9:11 am 发表主题: |
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ZY 写到: | Thanks for your kind comments.
"she", of course, is an unspecified someone or something that is at a distance.
might have been a bit abrupt, having no inkling earlier in the poem. I thought about that, and decided that a bit of free-association can be part of it.
Thanks. |
That answered my question. "She " gives me a mystic feel to the poem.
Enjoyed it. Thanks. |
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anna[星子安娜] anna作品集 Site Admin
注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141
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发表于: 星期四 四月 12, 2007 10:08 pm 发表主题: |
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until the day, I shall sing on
an old ragged tune, only
to the returning vagabonds
who still my sorrow bear, fondly.
---I read as:
till that day, I shall sing on
an old ragged tune
vagabonds here is noun or?
who still be my sorrow bear, may be?
I am a little lost....
Thanks for sharing your poem _________________ ---------------------
Anna Yin
《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...
http://annapoetry.com |
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ZY[ZY] ZY作品集 五品知州 (再努力一把就是四品大员了!)
注册时间: 2005-10-20 帖子: 226 来自: 台北盆地
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发表于: 星期五 四月 13, 2007 10:07 am 发表主题: |
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Hi anna,
the "tune" is the dierect object of the verb "sing", and "vagabonds" (yes, a noun here) is the indirect object.
Also, I think you mis-read the other line (with an extra "be").
Thanks for your reading.
ZY |
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星子[ANNA] 星子作品集 酷我!I made it!
注册时间: 2004-06-05 帖子: 13192 来自: Toronto
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发表于: 星期六 四月 14, 2007 8:22 am 发表主题: |
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I see.
"still" is verb...not adverb
Thanks. _________________
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ZY[ZY] ZY作品集 五品知州 (再努力一把就是四品大员了!)
注册时间: 2005-10-20 帖子: 226 来自: 台北盆地
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发表于: 星期六 四月 14, 2007 9:17 am 发表主题: |
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星子,
Not exactly, the line "who still my sorrow bear" is in reversed word order, from: "who still bear my sorrow".
Thanks.
ZY |
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星子[ANNA] 星子作品集 酷我!I made it!
注册时间: 2004-06-05 帖子: 13192 来自: Toronto
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发表于: 星期六 四月 14, 2007 4:38 pm 发表主题: |
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谢谢...我不太习惯这样的读序,,,不过,你自己喜欢就行 _________________
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