酷我-北美枫

ericcoliu

Reading and Writing: Life on the Page

Under the Same Sun, A Reply to Fanfan's Breath

Under the Same Sun

Falling petal
swirls about the garden
a butterfly

The sky points
over crimson maples
southbound geese

Time drifts
in and out the window
dusk
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

ericcoliu

Below is the companion piece to Breath:

The Shortest Stage Play, Breath

Over the past two weeks, I have concentrated on viewing the filmed versions of Samuel Beckett’s plays, and impressed by the most compressed of Beckett’s dramatic works entitled Breath. It is said that Breath is the shortest stage play, an unusually terse work whose length is estimated from his detailed instruction in the script to be about 35 seconds.

On a stage full of rubbish, no people are seen. The play consists of a recording of a brief, faint cry, followed by an amplified recording of somebody slowly inhaling and exhaling accompanied by an increase and decrease in the intensity of the light. There is then a second cry, and the play ends. Life portrayed in Breath is reduced to a brief interlude of dim light between two cries and two darknesses, symbolizing birth and death.

This play subtly touches on a more typical Beckett subject: the brevity and futility of life itself. It reminds me of Pozzo's words in Waiting for Godot:

"They give birth astride a grave, the light gleams an instant and then it is night once more."
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

christine · 发表于: 星期五十二月 12, 2008 1:50 pm 发表主题:

This is an image-centric, philosophically-inclined poem. I like the concluding line intensely.

ericcoliu · 发表于: 星期六十二月 13, 2008 9:16 am 发表主题:

robarts

fanfan · 发表于: 星期日十二月 14, 2008 12:44 pm 发表主题:

I like the imagery, which brings serenity to my morning.

Is this written in the form of Xiaoshi?
_________________
Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon.

ericcoliu · 发表于: 星期二十二月 16, 2008 3:14 pm 发表主题:

Lake · 发表于: 星期二十二月 16, 2008 10:49 pm 发表主题:

V1 immediately reminded me of one of my favorite haiku

The falling flower
I saw drift back to the branch
was a butterfly

- Arakida Moritake

ericcoliu · 发表于: 星期五十二月 19, 2008 8:36 am 发表主题:

ericcoliu · 发表于: 星期六十二月 27, 2008 10:24 am 发表主题:

Lake · 发表于: 星期六十二月 27, 2008 4:06 pm 发表主题:

Good luck with your essay/allusion.

Just a small suggestion - it'll be great if the original is kept alongside the revision, so the readers can read and compare, and see how the poem is evolved. Besides, other comments on the original can make more sense.

祝新年新气象！

ericcoliu · 发表于: 星期日十二月 28, 2008 6:23 pm 发表主题:

Thanks for your helpful suggestion.

As the New Year approaches, I would like to take a moment to thank you for sharing with me your view of poetry. May the New Year will bring you a full measure of the blessings and happiness.

All the best,

Eric
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

ericcoliu · 发表于: 星期六一月 17, 2009 8:52 am 发表主题:

The following is a response from my poet friend, David C.:

"A nice contemplative piece, Chen-ou, with the unwelcome - to me - incursion of reality at the end. Curse that reality!

I couldn't quite connect the poem to its title, Under the Same Sun, and I wonder what I'm missing."

My reply to David's question:

The connection between the poem and its title is that Nature and the implied narrator are dictated by the sun’s progression through the heavens and the countryman’s age-old rhythm of life.

I've revised my poem once again.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul