| 阅读上一个主题 :: 阅读下一个主题 |
| 作者 |
留言 |
温暖的水獸[温暖的水獸]
温暖的水獸作品集
五品知州
（再努力一把就是四品大员了！）
注册时间: 2008-04-23
帖子: 153
来自: 水族箱
|
 发表于: 星期六 十月 18, 2008 2:43 pm 发表主题: I and Calliope in Harmonious Rapture (p. in Word Catalyst) |
 |
|
(I and Calliope in Harmonious Rapture has been published in the March Issue of Word Catalyst)
I and Calliope in Harmonious Rapture co-written by ericcoliu
A choir in the sky,
garden in the sea,
lark in my chest.
An island in our bed,
throbbing agony
caressed by your hand.
Moans and pain
born to your laughter,
raised in your tears.
Time and silence.
Clocks ticking.
_________________
舌頭那匹温暖的水獸 馴養地在小小的水族箱中 蠕動
那獸說：是的 我願意
最后进行编辑的是 温暖的水獸 on 星期二 十二月 02, 2008 2:45 pm, 总计第 6 次编辑 |
|
| 返回页首 |
|
 |
ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada
|
| 发表于: 星期日 十月 19, 2008 8:31 am 发表主题: |
|
|
It’s an admirable attempt at writing a hypertext poem; however, it, sometimes, reads like an annotated poem by the help of hyperlinks.
| 温暖的水獸 写到: |
You and Calliope Live in Harmony Like Fish and Water
An itchy agony
caressed by your tongue.
Moans and pain
born to your laughter
raised in your tears.
|
Enjoy your "little death" -- 魚水之歡.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
|
| 返回页首 |
|
|
robarts[robarts]
robarts作品集
六品通判
（官儿做大了，保持廉洁哦）
注册时间: 2008-03-24
帖子: 114
来自: Canada
|
| 发表于: 星期二 十月 21, 2008 12:40 pm 发表主题: |
|
|
| ericcoliu 写到: |
It’s an admirable attempt at writing a hypertext poem; however, it, sometimes, reads like an annotated poem by the help of hyperlinks.
|
A little harsh?
In my view, once the writer writes a hypertext poem, it means he/she voluntarily relinquishes the power over the structuring of the text. It's the reader's responsibility to re-arrange the way the poem is read. Therefore, if the poem reads like an annotated poem, the fault is laid on the shoulder of the reader.
_________________
If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all. |
|
| 返回页首 |
|
|
ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada
|
| 发表于: 星期三 十月 22, 2008 4:31 pm 发表主题: |
|
|
| robarts 写到: |
In my view, once the writer writes a hypertext poem, it means he/she voluntarily relinquishes the power over the structuring of the text. It's the reader's responsibility to re-arrange the way the poem is read. |
Yes. Since any one text node can be linked to many others, readers can follow different hyperlinks through the same text.
| robarts 写到: |
Therefore, if the poem reads like an annotated poem, the fault is laid on the shoulder of the reader. |
No. There is more to writing hypertext than throwing together a bunch of links. The writer should treat links and anchors as a new stylistic element and make an effort to learn how to handle them. They are the key factors to change the feeling of the text they're part of, and introduce new interpretations and routes through the text.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
|
| 返回页首 |
|
|
dundas[dundas]
dundas作品集
五品知州
（再努力一把就是四品大员了！）
注册时间: 2008-02-23
帖子: 214
|
| 发表于: 星期四 十月 23, 2008 2:33 pm 发表主题: Re: You and Calliope Live in Harmony Like Fish and Water |
|
|
Island?
I think throbbing would be better than itchy.
_________________
My throat knew thirst before the structure
Of skin and vein around the well |
|
| 返回页首 |
|
|
robarts[robarts]
robarts作品集
六品通判
（官儿做大了，保持廉洁哦）
注册时间: 2008-03-24
帖子: 114
来自: Canada
|
| 发表于: 星期四 十月 23, 2008 3:28 pm 发表主题: Re: You and Calliope Live in Harmony Like Fish and Water |
|
|
| dundas 写到: |
I think throbbing would be better than itchy. |
Yes. I like its sexual connotation.
That's because [you] must have experienced la petite mort / after Calliope had caressed [your] secret spots. -- Itchy Agony by ericcoliu
_________________
If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all. |
|
| 返回页首 |
|
|
ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada
|
| 发表于: 星期五 十月 24, 2008 11:04 am 发表主题: Re: You and Calliope Live in Harmony Like Fish and Water |
|
|
| dundas 写到: |
I think throbbing would be better than itchy. |
Yes. A great choice of word. I should change the title of my poem as well.
| robarts 写到: |
That's because [you] must have experienced la petite mort / after Calliope had caressed [your] secret spots. -- Itchy Agony by ericcoliu |
Hmm. Thoughtfully Interesting.
Now, I change my view of this "annotated" hypertext poem -- it's a promising piece of experimental writing.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
|
| 返回页首 |
|
|
fanfan[FFFFFF]
fanfan作品集
四品府丞
（封疆大吏也！）
注册时间: 2007-12-27
帖子: 353
来自: Canada
|
| 发表于: 星期一 十月 27, 2008 5:55 pm 发表主题: Re: You and Calliope Live in Harmony Like Fish and Water |
|
|
This is a Chinese expression -- 魚水之歡.
My suggestion is that you can change the title to You and Calliope in Harmonious Rapture.
_________________
Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon. |
|
| 返回页首 |
|
|
温暖的水獸[温暖的水獸]
温暖的水獸作品集
五品知州
（再努力一把就是四品大员了！）
注册时间: 2008-04-23
帖子: 153
来自: 水族箱
|
| 发表于: 星期二 十一月 04, 2008 2:18 pm 发表主题: |
|
|
| ericcoliu 写到: |
| robarts 写到: |
In my view, once the writer writes a hypertext poem, it means he/she voluntarily relinquishes the power over the structuring of the text. It's the reader's responsibility to re-arrange the way the poem is read. |
Yes. Since any one text node can be linked to many others, readers can follow different hyperlinks through the same text.
| robarts 写到: |
Therefore, if the poem reads like an annotated poem, the fault is laid on the shoulder of the reader. |
No. There is more to writing hypertext than throwing together a bunch of links. The writer should treat links and anchors as a new stylistic element and make an effort to learn how to handle them. They are the key factors to change the feeling of the text they're part of, and introduce new interpretations and routes through the text. |
Professor Literature, you're so harsh on an aspiring writer who loves to do all sorts of experimental writing.
| ericcoliu 写到: |
Hmm. Thoughtfully Interesting.
Now, I change my view of this "annotated" hypertext poem -- it's a promising piece of experimental writing. |
Now, I thinking of forgiving your sin against my poem.
_________________
舌頭那匹温暖的水獸 馴養地在小小的水族箱中 蠕動
那獸說：是的 我願意
最后进行编辑的是 温暖的水獸 on 星期二 十一月 04, 2008 2:24 pm, 总计第 1 次编辑 |
|
| 返回页首 |
|
|
温暖的水獸[温暖的水獸]
温暖的水獸作品集
五品知州
（再努力一把就是四品大员了！）
注册时间: 2008-04-23
帖子: 153
来自: 水族箱
|
| 发表于: 星期二 十一月 04, 2008 2:19 pm 发表主题: Re: You and Calliope Live in Harmony Like Fish and Water |
|
|
| robarts 写到: |
| dundas 写到: |
I think throbbing would be better than itchy. |
Yes. I like its sexual connotation.
That's because [you] must have experienced la petite mort / after Calliope had caressed [your] secret spots. -- Itchy Agony by ericcoliu |
Robarts, I love you, who has a sharp eye for my poem.
| fanfan 写到: |
My suggestion is that you can change the title to You and Calliope in Harmonious Rapture. |
Good. Thanks for your "attentive" reading and helpful suggestion.
_________________
舌頭那匹温暖的水獸 馴養地在小小的水族箱中 蠕動
那獸說：是的 我願意 |
|
| 返回页首 |
|
|
温暖的水獸[温暖的水獸]
温暖的水獸作品集
五品知州
（再努力一把就是四品大员了！）
注册时间: 2008-04-23
帖子: 153
来自: 水族箱
|
| 发表于: 星期一 十一月 17, 2008 1:32 pm 发表主题: |
|
|
I've revised my poem and its title in order to go with A Diary of La Petite Mort.
_________________
舌頭那匹温暖的水獸 馴養地在小小的水族箱中 蠕動
那獸說：是的 我願意 |
|
| 返回页首 |
|
|
ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada
|
| 发表于: 星期日 十一月 30, 2008 10:59 pm 发表主题: |
|
|
Thanks.
Below is my reply:
You, My Calliope
Every night
I sleep beside you
but wake up alone
It is futile
to chase you out
of my waking mind
when you can invade my dreams
Day slips by
when I forget your name
Time stands still
when I think of you
Every day
I wake up alone
but sleep beside you
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
|
| 返回页首 |
|
|
温暖的水獸[温暖的水獸]
温暖的水獸作品集
五品知州
（再努力一把就是四品大员了！）
注册时间: 2008-04-23
帖子: 153
来自: 水族箱
|
| 发表于: 星期二 十二月 02, 2008 2:49 pm 发表主题: |
|
|
What you did in your poem is to de-sensualize the multiple meanings of Calliope.
_________________
舌頭那匹温暖的水獸 馴養地在小小的水族箱中 蠕動
那獸說：是的 我願意 |
|
| 返回页首 |
|
|
ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada
|
| 发表于: 星期日 三月 01, 2009 8:53 am 发表主题: |
|
|
I and Calliope in Harmonious Rapture has been published in the March Issue of Word Catalyst.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
|
| 返回页首 |
|
|
|
常见问题与解答 (FAQ)
搜索
成员列表
成员组
注册
个人资料
登陆查看您的私人留言
登陆
