酷我-北美枫

[Champagne]

At Night, by the Fire co-authored with ericcoliu (Cinquain)


Clocks ticked;
Time did not pass.
The sun rose, the sun set,
But the shadow remained unmoved.
Clocks ticks.
_________________
I'm Champagne,
Bottled poetry with sparkling joy.

[[Champagne]]

At Night, by the Fire co-authored with ericcoliu (Cinquain)


Clocks ticked;
Time did not pass.
The sun rose, the sun set,
But the shadow remained unmoved.
Clocks ticks.
_________________
I'm Champagne,
Bottled poetry with sparkling joy.

[christine]

The poem is tightly framed by this depressing line, "Clocked ticked."

Yes, the clock is ticking now.

[[christine]]

The poem is tightly framed by this depressing line, "Clocked ticked."

Yes, the clock is ticking now.

[ericcoliu]

An attempt to write a Blyian poem in the form of Cinquain.

IMHO, you need to change the title o f the poem to make it "leaping."
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

[[ericcoliu]]

An attempt to write a Blyian poem in the form of Cinquain.

IMHO, you need to change the title o f the poem to make it "leaping."
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

[dundas]

[[dundas]]

[川生]

[[川生]]

[Lake]

It took me a few reads and I'm still not quite sure if I got it.
It reads like the time is passing by - clocks ticked, sunrise, sunset; but at the same time , time remains still - time didn't pass, shadow remained unmoved.

At least a good thing for the reader to ponder.

[[Lake]]

It took me a few reads and I'm still not quite sure if I got it.
It reads like the time is passing by - clocks ticked, sunrise, sunset; but at the same time , time remains still - time didn't pass, shadow remained unmoved.

At least a good thing for the reader to ponder.

[Champagne]

[[Champagne]]

[Champagne]

[[Champagne]]

[Champagne]

[[Champagne]]

[Lake]

Champagne,

Thanks for the explanation, or allusion (is this the correct term ?). That explains it.

Do you often write with references, I wonder?

Have a nice weekend.

[[Lake]]

Champagne,

Thanks for the explanation, or allusion (is this the correct term ?). That explains it.

Do you often write with references, I wonder?

Have a nice weekend.

[Champagne]

[[Champagne]]

[川生]

[[川生]]

[ericcoliu]

[[ericcoliu]]

[ericcoliu]

The following are the replies from my fellow poets at Wild Poetry Forum:

Oh, very nice. I love how you go from clock ticked (past) to clock ticks (present) yet time has not past.

I like the mystery here.

-- Cate


Enclosed into one’s self, unaware of the world outside,
frozen in time.

Definitely a mystery.

-- Rodney L. Eisenbrandt


Chen-ou, I love creative works that have to do with the mutable subject of time. Now I am happy.

-- M. Kathryn Black


Chen,
I love this--the verb tense change, the unchanged shadow, the time not passing. Mysterious, unexpected.

-- Ann Metlay
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

[[ericcoliu]]

The following are the replies from my fellow poets at Wild Poetry Forum:

Oh, very nice. I love how you go from clock ticked (past) to clock ticks (present) yet time has not past.

I like the mystery here.

-- Cate


Enclosed into one’s self, unaware of the world outside,
frozen in time.

Definitely a mystery.

-- Rodney L. Eisenbrandt


Chen-ou, I love creative works that have to do with the mutable subject of time. Now I am happy.

-- M. Kathryn Black


Chen,
I love this--the verb tense change, the unchanged shadow, the time not passing. Mysterious, unexpected.

-- Ann Metlay
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

[Champagne]

[[Champagne]]