酷我-北美枫

[dundas]

A Dream Lost


While looking out at the courtyard
Where the sky is shedding its tears
For fallen leaves and petals
I sit inside
Mourning for a dream
Lost to Time

I rub my teacup
spinning it around and around
Time is destroying itself, relentlessly
_________________
My throat knew thirst before the structure
Of skin and vein around the well

[[dundas]]

A Dream Lost


While looking out at the courtyard
Where the sky is shedding its tears
For fallen leaves and petals
I sit inside
Mourning for a dream
Lost to Time

I rub my teacup
spinning it around and around
Time is destroying itself, relentlessly
_________________
My throat knew thirst before the structure
Of skin and vein around the well

[fanfan]

[[FFFFFF]]

[ericcoliu]

[[ericcoliu]]

[戴玨]

[[Edgar]]

[Lake]

I like the rubbing tea cup image, that gives a picture of someone brooding over something.
But the last line doesn't quite work for me.

[[Lake]]

I like the rubbing tea cup image, that gives a picture of someone brooding over something.
But the last line doesn't quite work for me.

[dundas]

[[dundas]]

[dundas]

[[dundas]]

[ericcoliu]

[[ericcoliu]]

[fanfan]

I like the concluding line.

Yes, another "show not tell" technique.
_________________
Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon.

[[FAFAFA]]

I like the concluding line.

Yes, another "show not tell" technique.
_________________
Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon.

[Lake]

Now I'll explain why the last line doesn't work for me - it is a statement, that's how I read it. It may work for others, so feel free to do whatever you want.

[[Lake]]

Now I'll explain why the last line doesn't work for me - it is a statement, that's how I read it. It may work for others, so feel free to do whatever you want.

[fanfan]

The concluding stanza reminds me of one of key scenes in Kieslowski’s Blue. When Julie sits alone in her favourite café in the aftermath of the deaths of her daughter and husband, she puts a sugar cube into her espresso; then the camera zooms in and takes a close-up of the cube which is shown slowly darkening, sinking, and dissolving into the coffee -- a visually stunning metaphor for how Julie has been consumed by a trauma which will gradually colour her whole being.
_________________
Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon.

[[FAFAFA]]

The concluding stanza reminds me of one of key scenes in Kieslowski’s Blue. When Julie sits alone in her favourite café in the aftermath of the deaths of her daughter and husband, she puts a sugar cube into her espresso; then the camera zooms in and takes a close-up of the cube which is shown slowly darkening, sinking, and dissolving into the coffee -- a visually stunning metaphor for how Julie has been consumed by a trauma which will gradually colour her whole being.
_________________
Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon.

[dundas]

[[dundas]]

[robarts]

[[robarts]]