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Lake[Lake]
Lake作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2006-10-10
帖子: 1341
来自: Sky Blue Water
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 发表于: 星期六 一月 27, 2007 11:42 pm 发表主题: The Wolf |
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The Wolf
Wolf ! Wolf! Living in a pack
Amid the deeps, depths and heights
What fearful howls and eyes
Would not but seize a fearless mind?
Of rapid creeks and hilly woods
Water splashes and leaves rustle
What an apparition, swift
Like a shooting star, zooms?
And what an eye, and what a stare
Would not but freeze a frozen nerve?
Scaring, or being scared, shines
The determind, silent dagger
And the howl, howling to the meter
For glee, grief and rendezvous
Does the moon echo with delight
When all stars howled to glitter?
Wolf ! Wolf! living in a pack
Amid the deeps, depths and heights
What fearful howls and eyes,
Would not seize a fearless mind?
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戴玨[Edgar]
戴玨作品集
五品知州
（再努力一把就是四品大员了！）
注册时间: 2006-12-26
帖子: 213
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| 发表于: 星期日 一月 28, 2007 5:12 am 发表主题: Re: The Wolf |
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| Lake 写到: |
And the howl, howling to the meter
For glee, grief and rendezvous
Does the moon echo with delight
When all stars howled to glitter?
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這節最有味道，像是整個天空都在顫動一樣。 |
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anna[星子安娜]
anna作品集
Site Admin
注册时间: 2004-05-02
帖子: 7141
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| 发表于: 星期日 一月 28, 2007 12:24 pm 发表主题: |
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Lake...
I like this. you are good at the Language. Skillfull by using a lot of short sentence and 倒装句
I seem to read some poems the first verse and last verse repeating...
is it a form?
Thanks for sharing.
_________________
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Anna Yin
《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...
http://annapoetry.com |
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Lake[Lake]
Lake作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2006-10-10
帖子: 1341
来自: Sky Blue Water
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| 发表于: 星期日 一月 28, 2007 5:30 pm 发表主题: Re: The Wolf |
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| 戴玨 写到: | | Lake 写到: |
And the howl, howling to the meter
For glee, grief and rendezvous
Does the moon echo with delight
When all stars howled to glitter?
. |
這節最有味道，像是整個天空都在顫動一樣。 |
谢谢戴玨的赏读。很高兴这节能带给你如此的感受。我也比较喜欢这段。
这是1月7日观看了Timberwolves 和 Rockets 一场篮球赛后写下的。比赛前，大屏幕播放了Timberwolves 在森林中的几个镜头，给我留下很深的印象，第一次对狼产生了些许好感。随之在比赛中，只要当地观众觉得裁判对狼队不公平，就会由解说员领着一起 howl, 发出由远及近，由弱到强的狼嗥，再配之以强烈的音乐节奏，急促的鼓点声，那阵势几乎要将整个体育馆的房顶掀开一样，及其震撼人心。最后，在加时赛中，森林狼以103 : 99 的比分硬是把火箭队给
howl down.
所以我说对你翻译的那首“HOWL”有感觉。
最后进行编辑的是 Lake on 星期四 二月 01, 2007 12:20 am, 总计第 1 次编辑 |
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Lake[Lake]
Lake作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2006-10-10
帖子: 1341
来自: Sky Blue Water
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| 发表于: 星期一 一月 29, 2007 4:17 pm 发表主题: |
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Thanks, Anna.
Repetition in a poem can give a tune to a passage, a feel of emotion to the readers; it may serve as a structural device, or refrain of song or song-like poem. Villanell and sestina to mention a few have repeated lines, but I have never tried them yet.
For this one, I just felt it was needed (though I am not sure if it works), probably because the sound of music and drums and howls still lingered in my ear while I was writing. 
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kokho[晓辉]
kokho作品集
三品按察使
（天，你是斑竹吧？）
注册时间: 2006-10-25
帖子: 792
来自: Singapore
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| 发表于: 星期一 二月 12, 2007 1:17 pm 发表主题: |
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It is very musical ...
Good tempo and melody !!
 
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乒乓、摄影、诗歌 |
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Lake[Lake]
Lake作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2006-10-10
帖子: 1341
来自: Sky Blue Water
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| 发表于: 星期一 二月 12, 2007 2:43 pm 发表主题: |
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| kokho 写到: | It is very musical ...
Good tempo and melody !!
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对kokho 的评论喜忧参半。
喜的是，得到的肯定；忧的也就是这个喜，成了歌了，没了诗了？
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