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星子[ANNA] 星子作品集 酷我!I made it!
注册时间: 2004-06-05 帖子: 13192 来自: Toronto
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发表于: 星期二 七月 04, 2006 9:58 am 发表主题: Poems from "The River Stone Roots" (请分析一下) |
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Two dozen poems by Tu Fu
Translated by James Deahl
Remembering My Brothers
No one dares travel when drums beat to warn
The enemy is near. Only a wild goose
Crosses this frontier as moonlight whitens
The dew blanketing my old village.
Displaced by invaders, my brothers scatter.
I don't know if they are alive or dead!
No letters arrive. Our land's swept by war;
Armies come and go like the autumn seas.
月夜忆舍弟
戍鼓断人行,秋边一雁声。
露从今夜白,月是故乡明。
有弟皆分散,无家问死生。
寄书长不达,况乃未休兵。 _________________
最后进行编辑的是 星子 on 星期四 十一月 23, 2006 11:43 am, 总计第 1 次编辑 |
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星子[ANNA] 星子作品集 酷我!I made it!
注册时间: 2004-06-05 帖子: 13192 来自: Toronto
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发表于: 星期二 七月 04, 2006 10:21 am 发表主题: |
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Yo-yang Tower
So long have I wanted to see Lake Tung-ting;
Now alone, I climb its tower. Wu spreads far
To the east, Ch'u to the south -- all Heaven
And earth drift as far as failing eyes can see.
No news of friends or family reaches me here,
Sick and old, I've only this worn boat left.
On our northern frontier war rages, and I
Do nothing but lean on this railing and weep.
登岳阳楼
昔闻洞庭水,今上岳阳楼。
吴楚东南坼,乾坤日夜浮。
亲朋无一字,老病有孤舟。
戎马关山北,凭轩涕泗流。 _________________
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星子[ANNA] 星子作品集 酷我!I made it!
注册时间: 2004-06-05 帖子: 13192 来自: Toronto
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发表于: 星期四 十一月 23, 2006 11:44 am 发表主题: |
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请喜欢分析,比较一下.... _________________
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kokho[晓辉] kokho作品集 三品按察使 (天,你是斑竹吧?)
注册时间: 2006-10-25 帖子: 792 来自: Singapore
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发表于: 星期四 十一月 23, 2006 3:22 pm 发表主题: |
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古诗的翻译 。。。 隔鞋搔痒 :))
。。 _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌 |
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博弈[Mark] 博弈作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2006-09-24 帖子: 1484 来自: San Francisco
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发表于: 星期六 十一月 25, 2006 9:03 pm 发表主题: |
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All translated depict not a classic
That we have known, and we still do
For all together define the classic
We appreciate beauty in endeavor
And I, for one, applaud such effort
These are open form translations.
I love it. It defies and conforms to
Rules of old English poetics.
Depending on how much was
Comprehended by the writer, the
Translated can have more, or less.
Yet, it is a vehicle runs back and
Forth, to convey the East to the West
And to know the West from the East
Or, as well the other way around.
邀请西方人士翻译中文诗,鼓掌。
这是一个双向的交流,很好的呀!
选择以五音步来翻五言诗,虽较
松散,但也是一个很好的风格。
一般(学究观念)以为五步翻
七言,四步翻五言。还翻韵与对仗。
他这样的形式,我反觉得清新自然。
也比较现代。翻译可以有许多形式,
我还没见到以诗的相对应年代语言
来翻的,那也会很有趣;不是么?
这样的译诗,或许更能打入大众。
所有的翻译共同塑造了原诗的形象。
1) 月夜忆舍弟
The frontier drums halt passers-by
In autumn drops a wild goose’s cry
The dew turns white frost since this night
The moon seems brighter in home sky
I’ve brothers scattered all around
No home to know they live or die
My letters seem far to reach them
Besides, the war still rages high.
(excerpt from a book by 施颖洲, I have
To type the above, for it can’t be googled.)
2)登岳阳楼
坼字味道没翻出来,也难翻就是。
(下整理转贴,供理解参考)
登岳阳楼
昔闻洞庭水,今上岳阳楼。吴楚东南坼,乾坤日夜浮。
亲朋无一字,老病有孤舟。戎马关山北,凭轩涕泗流。
很早听过名扬海内的洞庭湖,今日有幸登上湖边的岳阳楼。大湖浩瀚象把吴楚东南隔开,天地象在湖面日夜荡漾漂浮。漂泊江湖亲朋故旧不寄一字,年老体弱生活在这一叶孤舟。关山以北战争烽火仍未止息,凭窗遥望胸怀家国涕泪交流。
代宗大历三年(768)之后,杜甫出峡漂泊两湖,此诗是登岳阳楼而望故乡,触景感怀之作。开头写早闻洞庭盛名,然而到幕年才实现目睹名湖的愿望,表面看有初登岳阳楼之喜悦,其实意在抒发早年抱负至今未能实现之情。二联是洞庭的浩瀚无边。三联写政治生活坎坷,漂泊天涯,怀才不遇的心情。末联写眼望国家动荡不安,自己报国无门的哀伤。写景虽只二句,却显技巧精湛,抒情虽暗淡落寞,却吞吐自然,毫不费力。
或者,下述有更详细的解析;
http://www.ywzk.com/readarticle/htm/57/2004_9_11_2768.html _________________ Sometimes I am busy
Sometimes I am free
In between, there's it
Until I find thee... |
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星子[ANNA] 星子作品集 酷我!I made it!
注册时间: 2004-06-05 帖子: 13192 来自: Toronto
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Lake[Lake] Lake作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2006-10-10 帖子: 1341 来自: Sky Blue Water
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发表于: 星期六 十一月 25, 2006 11:18 pm 发表主题: |
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"隔鞋搔痒", 咱也不痛不痒贴一帖.
Translation from "The New Directions Anthology of Classical Chinese Poetry" by David Hinton:
MOONLIT NIGHT THINKING OF MY BROTHERS
Warning drums have ended all travel.
A lone goose cries across autumn
Borderlands. White Dew begins tonight,
This bright moon bright there, over
My old village. My scattered brothers--
And no home to ask Are they alive or dead?
Letters never arrive. War comes
And goes--then comes like this again.
Lake 觉得此译文似更简洁, Lake 还喜欢 此处的 run-on lines.
也佩服施颖洲先生的译文, it rhymes and meters.
The only thing is that it sounds like a sing-song. |
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老哈[老哈] 老哈作品集 八品县丞 (又一个不小心,升了!)
注册时间: 2006-02-27 帖子: 60 来自: NEVADA, USA
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发表于: 星期日 十一月 26, 2006 2:34 am 发表主题: |
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学习,学习,再学习! _________________ 掠过天堂刹那间的感觉 |
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anna[星子安娜] anna作品集 Site Admin
注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141
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发表于: 星期三 一月 17, 2007 12:56 pm 发表主题: |
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Thanks Lake... Great.
printed both of yours and 博弈,
还是喜欢施的
Thanks 老哈... _________________ ---------------------
Anna Yin
《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...
http://annapoetry.com |
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戴玨[Edgar] 戴玨作品集 五品知州 (再努力一把就是四品大员了!)
注册时间: 2006-12-26 帖子: 213
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发表于: 星期四 一月 18, 2007 1:38 am 发表主题: Re: Poems from "The River Stone Roots" (请分析一下 |
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星子 写到: | Two dozen poems by Tu Fu
Translated by James Deahl
Remembering My Brothers
No one dares travel when drums beat to warn
The enemy is near. Only a wild goose
Crosses this frontier as moonlight whitens
The dew blanketing my old village.
Displaced by invaders, my brothers scatter.
I don't know if they are alive or dead!
No letters arrive. Our land's swept by war;
Armies come and go like the autumn seas.
月夜忆舍弟
戍鼓断人行,秋边一雁声。
露从今夜白,月是故乡明。
有弟皆分散,无家问死生。
寄书长不达,况乃未休兵。 |
月夜憶舍弟中
戎鼓指戎樓上的更鼓,很明顯是由於實施了宵禁,所以哨兵截斷了往來的行人。還可以引伸理解為因為戰事,道路為之阻隔,和末句的未休兵相呼應。孤雁的鳴聲由原詩的所聞變成了譯詩的所見,哪個更能表達淒涼的感覺,大家自己判斷。
頜聯中的白露既是指露水,也是指節氣。"露從今夜白"說天氣開始轉涼了,"月是故鄉明"說故鄉的月亮才是最明亮的。此聯意味深長,乃老杜的名句,Deahl卻沒把的意思翻出來,只是一帶而過。
尾聯中的況乃是何況的意思。親人們四處流散,平時寄書尚且常常不達,更何況戰事頻頻。Deahl的譯文顯得過於簡略,而末句中autumn seas卻又多餘。 |
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戴玨[Edgar] 戴玨作品集 五品知州 (再努力一把就是四品大员了!)
注册时间: 2006-12-26 帖子: 213
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发表于: 星期四 一月 18, 2007 2:08 am 发表主题: |
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博弈 写到: | 2)登岳阳楼
吴楚东南坼,乾坤日夜浮。
坼字味道没翻出来,也难翻就是。
...大湖浩瀚象把吴楚东南隔开,天地象在湖面日夜荡漾漂浮... |
博弈說到點子上了。 |
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星子[ANNA] 星子作品集 酷我!I made it!
注册时间: 2004-06-05 帖子: 13192 来自: Toronto
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发表于: 星期四 一月 18, 2007 9:29 am 发表主题: |
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多谢戴老师和博学的指教.... _________________
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