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anna[星子安娜] anna作品集 Site Admin
注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141
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发表于: 星期日 十月 31, 2010 1:16 pm 发表主题: Bookshelf (revised) |
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The bookshelf. Left alone.
Moonlight pours in the empty room.
The shadow of the bookshelf
creeps across the floor,
you pity a lost soul.
Not long ago, your fingers smoothed the thick books,
as your mind kept picturing --
Dickinson demure behind walls.
Whitman, young and loud, chants his Song of Myself,
and William Blake questions the Tiger and his Creator.
The shelf embraced each with listening ears,
while two young lovers recited.
But now, leaves turn yellow
and all are deaf.
"For sale”.
You struggle to place... _________________ ---------------------
Anna Yin
《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...
http://annapoetry.com |
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Lake[Lake] Lake作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2006-10-10 帖子: 1341 来自: Sky Blue Water
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发表于: 星期一 十一月 01, 2010 10:38 am 发表主题: Re: Bookshelf (revised) |
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anna 写到: |
Whitman, young and handsome, with the Song of My Self,
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Walt Whitman, handsome? His photo on the book "Leaves of Grass" gives me an image of a man in work clothes, bearded, lounging, unbuttoned...
Shouldn't the "Song of My Self" be Song of Myself? One word.
Just stop by... |
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星子[ANNA] 星子作品集 酷我!I made it!
注册时间: 2004-06-05 帖子: 13192 来自: Toronto
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发表于: 星期一 十一月 01, 2010 10:48 am 发表主题: |
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Hi Lake,
Glad to have you dropped by.
I saw his photo and for me he was handsome. But for the poem, I maybe change it. Thanks.
Anna _________________
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Lake[Lake] Lake作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2006-10-10 帖子: 1341 来自: Sky Blue Water
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发表于: 星期一 十一月 01, 2010 11:06 am 发表主题: |
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What I was trying to say is that "handsome" doesn't add anything to your poem. |
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