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		星子[ANNA] 星子作品集  酷我!I made it!
  
  
  注册时间: 2004-06-05 帖子: 13192 来自: Toronto
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				 发表于: 星期四 二月 04, 2010 1:40 pm    发表主题: A Poem to ask for quiting smoking | 
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				The bloody sunset burns between your fingers.
 
It sucks all the memory of a flowing river.
 
Before the dark falls,
 
it is like a bleeding period 
 
dip down the horizon.
 
 
A false heaven, one wants to stay.
 
A painful escape, one intends to make.
 
Yet it is a bait to hook one’s guts.
 
It is the void to fill one’s mind.
 
 
I watch you sink in the smog,
 
as stars shattered like pale ashes. _________________
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		非马[FFFFFF] 非马作品集  二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
  
 
  注册时间: 2005-10-15 帖子: 1053
 
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				 发表于: 星期五 三月 05, 2010 11:05 am    发表主题: Re: A Poem to ask for quiting smoking | 
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				Some offhand suggestions for your consideration:
 
 
 	  | 星子 写到: | 	 		  The bloody sunset burns between your fingers.
 
It sucks all the memory out of a flowing river.
 
Before darkness falls,
 
it is like a bleeding period 
 
hanging on the horizon.
 
 
A false heaven, one wants to stay (?).
 
A painful escape, one intends to make.
 
Yet it is a bait to hook one’s guts.
 
It is the void to fill one’s mind.
 
 
I watch you sink in the smog,
 
like shattered stars among ashes. | 	 
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		星子[ANNA] 星子作品集  酷我!I made it!
  
  
  注册时间: 2004-06-05 帖子: 13192 来自: Toronto
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				 发表于: 星期五 三月 05, 2010 11:20 am    发表主题:  | 
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				Thank you very much, 非马.
 
 
I am glad that you provide your suggestions.  Great help.
 
I will revise it.
 
 
Many thanks.
 
 
Anna _________________
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		Lake[Lake] Lake作品集  二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
  
 
  注册时间: 2006-10-10 帖子: 1341 来自: Sky Blue Water
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				 发表于: 星期二 三月 09, 2010 12:14 pm    发表主题:  | 
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				Just read this, thought it is appropriate to share here:
 
 
Wendy Cope
 
 
Giving Up Smoking
 
 
There's not a Shakespeare sonnet
 
Or a Beethoven quartet
 
That's easier to like than you
 
Or harder to forget.
 
 
You think that sounds extravagant?
 
I haven't finished yet --
 
I like you more than I would like
 
To have a cigarette.
 
 
 
What an intense love poem! | 
			 
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		anna[星子安娜] anna作品集  Site Admin
  
  注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141
 
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				 发表于: 星期二 三月 09, 2010 1:17 pm    发表主题:  | 
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				Hi Lake,
 
 
Thank  you very much for sharing.
 
 
Anna _________________ ---------------------
 
 
Anna Yin
 
 
《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
 
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...
 
 
http://annapoetry.com | 
			 
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