| 阅读上一个主题 :: 阅读下一个主题 |
| 作者 |
留言 |
robarts[robarts]
robarts作品集
六品通判
（官儿做大了，保持廉洁哦）
注册时间: 2008-03-24
帖子: 114
来自: Canada
|
 发表于: 星期一 二月 09, 2009 2:13 pm 发表主题: Blow, Blow, Thou Winter Wind (revised) |
 |
|
_________________
If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all.
最后进行编辑的是 robarts on 星期一 四月 13, 2009 1:05 pm, 总计第 1 次编辑 |
|
| 返回页首 |
|
 |
agincourt[agincourt]
agincourt作品集
九品县令
（一不小心，做了官儿了。）
注册时间: 2009-01-24
帖子: 15
|
| 发表于: 星期一 二月 09, 2009 4:11 pm 发表主题: |
|
|
Is this a tanka? I think so.
I am not sure of your use of abstract words in a tanka?
_________________
Napped half the day;
no one
punished me! |
|
| 返回页首 |
|
|
fanfan[FAFAFA]
fanfan作品集
四品府丞
（封疆大吏也！）
注册时间: 2007-12-27
帖子: 353
来自: Canada
|
| 发表于: 星期二 二月 10, 2009 4:00 pm 发表主题: |
|
|
| agincourt 写到: | Is this a tanka? I think so.
I am not sure of your use of abstract words in a tanka? |
It totally depends on how you use them in the contexts of your poem.
_________________
Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon. |
|
| 返回页首 |
|
|
christine[christine]
christine作品集
四品府丞
（封疆大吏也！）
注册时间: 2008-02-25
帖子: 304
|
| 发表于: 星期三 二月 11, 2009 6:56 pm 发表主题: |
|
|
| fanfan 写到: | | agincourt 写到: | Is this a tanka? I think so.
I am not sure of your use of abstract words in a tanka? |
It totally depends on how you use them in the contexts of your poem. |
Yes, I concur!
For example,
amid the waves of time
rich in primary colors
my drifting soul
I pull it to the shore
at two in the morning
| robarts 写到: | Wintry Morning Activity
eyeglasses fog up
as I enter the house--
in the freeze
I have shovelled away
the dreams of my youth |
Thematically speaking, this tanka is tightly framed by the opening and closing lines.
By the way, your title is not inviting. |
|
| 返回页首 |
|
|
Champagne[Champagne]
Champagne作品集
四品府丞
（封疆大吏也！）
注册时间: 2007-09-15
帖子: 394
来自: Nowhere & Everywhere
|
| 发表于: 星期五 二月 13, 2009 8:40 pm 发表主题: |
|
|
| christine 写到: |
| robarts 写到: |
eyeglasses fog up
as I enter the house--
in the freeze
I have shovelled away
the dreams of my youth |
Thematically speaking, this tanka is tightly framed by the opening and closing lines.
|
winter sadness
surfaces
while I shovel the snow
Right?
_________________
I'm Champagne,
Bottled poetry with sparkling joy. |
|
| 返回页首 |
|
|
robarts[robarts]
robarts作品集
六品通判
（官儿做大了，保持廉洁哦）
注册时间: 2008-03-24
帖子: 114
来自: Canada
|
| 发表于: 星期一 三月 02, 2009 2:40 pm 发表主题: |
|
|
Thank you all for your helpful comments.
| Champagne 写到: |
| christine 写到: |
| robarts 写到: |
eyeglasses fog up
as I enter the house--
in the freeze
I have shovelled away
the dreams of my youth |
Thematically speaking, this tanka is tightly framed by the opening and closing lines.
|
winter sadness
surfaces
while I shovel the snow
Right? |
Big Yes to Christine's and Champagne's comments
_________________
If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all. |
|
| 返回页首 |
|
|
robarts[robarts]
robarts作品集
六品通判
（官儿做大了，保持廉洁哦）
注册时间: 2008-03-24
帖子: 114
来自: Canada
|
| 发表于: 星期一 四月 13, 2009 1:07 pm 发表主题: |
|
|
I've edited my poem.
Any comments on my title? I'm little disappointed!
_________________
If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all. |
|
| 返回页首 |
|
|
|
常见问题与解答 (FAQ)
搜索
成员列表
成员组
注册
个人资料
登陆查看您的私人留言
登陆
