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Lake[Lake] Lake作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2006-10-10 帖子: 1341 来自: Sky Blue Water
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发表于: 星期五 一月 09, 2009 10:25 am 发表主题: Moontarn - Barrie |
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Moontarn
Barrie
cherry
dips its lip of
blossom
into
the moon
whispers ripple
through
the silver night
山湖月色
- In memory of Barrie
樱花
唇瓣
浸
入
月中
轻语涟漪
弥漫
银色夜空
I had this poem translated a while ago, but never had had the nerve to show it because I thought my translation was not comparable to Barrie's original. Now that he's gone, not even had a chance to read it.
In recent months he has built quite a portfolio of musings on death, all are marked with his usual Barrie-esque characteristics – humor, sarcasm, shrewdness, and poetic craft…
This is the last one he wrote on Dec. 29, 2008
A Meeting with the Almighty
I'll see you
tomorrow,
I said.
I'll be there,
but you won't,
came the retort.
What makes you say that?
I know everything,
I made it so.
If you're saying it's all preordained,
then I'll prove you wrong.
I knew you'd say that,
so I moved you forward
by a day.
You never showed up.
How do you know,
you've been here all the time.
I'm omnipresent and omniscient.
You're a cheat.
Just omnipotent.
Do you exist, then?
Why,
asked God,
do you need proof?
Now when I came back to read it again,
I knew you'd say that,
so I moved you forward
by a day.
You never showed up.
I can't help asking "Why did you argue with God, Barrie." It is so ominous. |
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu] ericcoliu作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2007-05-29 帖子: 1393 来自: GTA, Canada
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发表于: 星期五 一月 09, 2009 5:57 pm 发表主题: |
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Riveting imagery of a cherry branch dipping into the moon's reflection in the still waters
The Chinese title resonates with the mood of the poem. Excellent.
Lake, My condolences to you on your loss of a beloved friend. _________________ Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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anna[星子安娜] anna作品集 Site Admin
注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141
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发表于: 星期五 一月 09, 2009 7:06 pm 发表主题: |
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Hi Lake,
Sorry to hear that.
Take care.
Anna _________________ ---------------------
Anna Yin
《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...
http://annapoetry.com |
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浴恩福[浴恩福] 浴恩福作品集 六品通判 (官儿做大了,保持廉洁哦)
注册时间: 2008-05-08 帖子: 123 来自: 多倫多
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发表于: 星期六 一月 10, 2009 4:29 pm 发表主题: Re: Moontarn - Barrie |
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Lake, my condolences to you on your loss.
Lake 写到: |
Moontarn[/b]
Barrie
cherry
dips its lip of
blossom
into
the moon
whispers ripple
through
the silver night
山湖月色
- In memory of Barrie
樱花
唇瓣
浸
入
月中
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Moontarn or Moon Tarn?
The layout of the first stanza of the Chinese version is impressive, grasping the ideas explored in its English counterpart. _________________ 報三恩、耕三大福田 |
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川生[川生] 川生作品集 七品按察司 (我开始管这里的事儿了)
注册时间: 2008-09-18 帖子: 72
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发表于: 星期一 一月 12, 2009 2:11 pm 发表主题: |
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I like the Chinese translation immensely, especially the concluding stanza.
Lake, my condolences for your loss. _________________ Lines go off in all directions. |
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Lake[Lake] Lake作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2006-10-10 帖子: 1341 来自: Sky Blue Water
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发表于: 星期日 一月 18, 2009 9:47 pm 发表主题: |
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Thanks eric, anna, 浴恩福 and 川生 for your sympathy.
引用: | a cherry branch dipping into the moon's reflection in the still waters |
That's the author's exact words that he wanted to convey in this poem, thanks for quoting that, eric.
引用: |
Moontarn or Moon Tarn? |
Thanks 浴恩福 for the question. "moontarn" is a made up word by the author who had a very creative mind, a lover of words. Another example is "froghop". Lots of them, and they all made sense. |
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Lake[Lake] Lake作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2006-10-10 帖子: 1341 来自: Sky Blue Water
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发表于: 星期日 一月 18, 2009 10:36 pm 发表主题: |
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Drinking with Li Po
- for Barrie
For nine and fifty years
you’ve rowed on Moontarn
like a fool, hair whitened
with reed catkins, teasing
the formless omnipresent
the nonexistent omniscient
and singing to Aphrodite
Now you jump into the water
to catch the moon –
what splashing! |
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Lake[Lake] Lake作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2006-10-10 帖子: 1341 来自: Sky Blue Water
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发表于: 星期一 一月 19, 2009 4:40 pm 发表主题: |
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Barrie also wrote good haiku, with ease. Here are my five dedicated to him.
our last summer
fades into fluffy snow -
butterflies in dreams
cold dawn
candle’s blown off -
unfinished lines…
moonless night
a lone tarn gently rocks
a tired boat
a robin sings
with a coarse voice -
silent cherry blossoms
foggy sunshine
how beautiful
blooming camellia! |
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