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fanfan[FAFAFA]
fanfan作品集
四品府丞
（封疆大吏也！）
注册时间: 2007-12-27
帖子: 353
来自: Canada
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 发表于: 星期日 十月 12, 2008 5:22 pm 发表主题: Southern Spring (bilingual, revised) |
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江南春，杜牧
千里莺啼绿映红， 水村山郭酒旗风。
南朝四百八十寺， 多少楼台烟雨中。
English Translation: Southern Spring
A thousand miles of chirping orioles,
crimson contrasting with green.
Waterside villages, hillside ramparts,
tavern banners in the breeze.
Four hundred eighty temples
built in the Southern Dynasties:
how many high buildings
veiled in the mist and rain?
_________________
Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon.
最后进行编辑的是 fanfan on 星期一 十月 20, 2008 11:46 am, 总计第 2 次编辑 |
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada
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| 发表于: 星期日 十月 12, 2008 7:39 pm 发表主题: Re: Southern Spring (bilingual) |
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| fanfan 写到: |
江南春，杜牧
多少楼台烟雨中。
English Translation: Southern Spring
How many towers and terraces
Veiled in the mist and rain? |
My take would be:
"Looming in the misty rain?"
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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Champagne[Champagne]
Champagne作品集
四品府丞
（封疆大吏也！）
注册时间: 2007-09-15
帖子: 394
来自: Nowhere & Everywhere
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| 发表于: 星期一 十月 13, 2008 8:24 am 发表主题: Re: Southern Spring (bilingual) |
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| fanfan 写到: |
多少楼台烟雨中。
English Translation: Southern Spring
How many towers and terraces
Veiled in the mist and rain? |
Or high buildings which mean "storied buildings" and "towers."
_________________
I'm Champagne,
Bottled poetry with sparkling joy. |
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fanfan[FFFFFF]
fanfan作品集
四品府丞
（封疆大吏也！）
注册时间: 2007-12-27
帖子: 353
来自: Canada
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| 发表于: 星期一 十月 13, 2008 4:17 pm 发表主题: Re: Southern Spring (bilingual) |
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| Champagne 写到: |
Or high buildings which mean "storied buildings" and "towers." |
Good. Thanks for your suggestion.
| ericcoliu 写到: |
My take would be:
"Looming in the misty rain?" |
Thanks for the read. I'll think over your suggestion.
_________________
Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon. |
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Lake[Lake]
Lake作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2006-10-10
帖子: 1341
来自: Sky Blue Water
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| 发表于: 星期二 十月 14, 2008 9:05 pm 发表主题: |
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I always admire those who translate classical poems.
Here are my thoughts on this.
江南春 Southern Spring
I'm not so sure of the translation of the title because 江南 indicates a specific place while "Southern" is kind of general.
绿映红 Crimson contrasting with red
I didn't see the contrasting colors in the translation.
Just my two cents. |
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fanfan[FFFFFF]
fanfan作品集
四品府丞
（封疆大吏也！）
注册时间: 2007-12-27
帖子: 353
来自: Canada
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| 发表于: 星期三 十月 15, 2008 10:55 am 发表主题: |
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| Lake 写到: |
Here are my thoughts on this.
江南春 Southern Spring
I'm not so sure of the translation of the title because 江南 indicates a specific place while "Southern" is kind of general.
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Some translators use “Spring South of the [Yangtze] River” as the English title of the poem, a title which doesn’t give a more nuanced understanding of the historical or geographical background where the poem was written.
I think “Southern Spring” is more poetic and a roughly accurate description of the geographic location, which is the region south of the lower reaches of the Yangtze River in Southeastern China.
| Lake 写到: |
绿映红 Crimson contrasting with red
I didn't see the contrasting colors in the translation.
Just my two cents. |
Yes, a mistake. it should be green. I've revised my translation.
Thanks for your invaluable "two cents."
_________________
Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon. |
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christine[christine]
christine作品集
四品府丞
（封疆大吏也！）
注册时间: 2008-02-25
帖子: 304
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| 发表于: 星期四 十月 16, 2008 9:37 am 发表主题: |
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| fanfan 写到: | | Lake 写到: |
Here are my thoughts on this.
江南春 Southern Spring
I'm not so sure of the translation of the title because 江南 indicates a specific place while "Southern" is kind of general.
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Some translators use “Spring South of the [Yangtze] River” as the English title of the poem, a title which doesn’t give a more nuanced understanding of the historical or geographical background where the poem was written.
I think “Southern Spring” is more poetic and a roughly accurate description of the geographic location, which is the region south of the lower reaches of the Yangtze River in Southeastern China.
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How about "Spring in Jiangnan?" And add a note indicative of the historical or geographical background where the poem was written.
I like his poem in which he was writing more about an imagined space than about the real geographical region. |
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fanfan[FFFFFF]
fanfan作品集
四品府丞
（封疆大吏也！）
注册时间: 2007-12-27
帖子: 353
来自: Canada
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| 发表于: 星期四 十月 16, 2008 6:54 pm 发表主题: |
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| christine 写到: |
How about "Spring in Jiangnan?" And add a note indicative of the historical or geographical background where the poem was written.
I like his poem in which he was writing more about an imagined space than about the real geographical region. |
Thanks for your closer reading of my piece. I'll think over your suggestion.
Yes, the imagery of Jiangnan (江南) stretching a thousand miles long with the Southern Dynasties high buildings and temples hidden in the misty rain is deeply rooted in classical Chinese poetry and the cultural meanings it entails.
_________________
Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon. |
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川生[川生]
川生作品集
七品按察司
（我开始管这里的事儿了）
注册时间: 2008-09-18
帖子: 72
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| 发表于: 星期五 十月 17, 2008 8:36 am 发表主题: |
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Perceiving it from a nostalgic eye, Du Mu in his poem romanticizes the image of jiangnan.
_________________
Lines go off in all directions. |
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fanfan[FFFFFF]
fanfan作品集
四品府丞
（封疆大吏也！）
注册时间: 2007-12-27
帖子: 353
来自: Canada
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| 发表于: 星期六 十月 18, 2008 9:38 am 发表主题: |
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| 川生 写到: | | Perceiving it from a nostalgic eye, Du Mu in his poem romanticizes the image of jiangnan. |
The poem is an romantically impressionistic depiction of a spring scene.
The opening lines, "A thousand miles of chirping orioles, / Crimson contrasting with green," set the tone and mood for the poem.
_________________
Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon. |
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fanfan[FAFAFA]
fanfan作品集
四品府丞
（封疆大吏也！）
注册时间: 2007-12-27
帖子: 353
来自: Canada
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| 发表于: 星期一 十月 20, 2008 11:47 am 发表主题: |
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I've revised my translation, which is based on the helpful comments and valuable suggestions from my fellow writers.
_________________
Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon. |
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