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When I heard the Learn’d Astronomer (bilingual, revised)

 
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christine[christine]
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四品府丞
(封疆大吏也!)
四品府丞<BR>(封疆大吏也!)


注册时间: 2008-02-25
帖子: 304

帖子发表于: 星期四 十月 09, 2008 9:19 am    发表主题: When I heard the Learn’d Astronomer (bilingual, revised) 引用并回复

When I heard the Learn’d Astronomer by Walt Whitman


When I heard the learn’d astronomer;
When the proofs, the figures, were ranged in columns before me;
When I was shown the charts and the diagrams, to add, divide, and measure them;
When I, sitting, heard the astronomer, where he lectured with much applause in the lecture-room,
How soon, unaccountable, I became tired and sick;
Till rising and gliding out, I wander’d off by myself,
In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time,
Look’d up in perfect silence at the stars.



Chinese Translation: 一堂滿堂喝采的天文課


當我聽到那博學的天文家,
當證明啦、數字啦、成排地在我面前,
當圖啊、表啊列出,要把它們加減乘除,
當我坐在教室聽那天文學家講得滿堂喝采,
很快沒來由的我會變得疲乏厭倦,
只好起來悄悄一個人溜出去,
在神秘濕潤的夜空裡,不時地,
在純然的寂靜中仰望星辰。


最后进行编辑的是 christine on 星期一 十月 20, 2008 8:44 am, 总计第 2 次编辑
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dundas[dundas]
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注册时间: 2008-02-23
帖子: 214

帖子发表于: 星期四 十月 09, 2008 11:50 am    发表主题: Re: When I heard the Learn’d Astronomer (bilingual) 引用并回复

christine 写到:


In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time,
Look’d up in perfect silence at the stars.



Chinese Translation: 當我聽到博學的天文家


在神秘濕潤的夜氣裡,不時地,
在純然的寂靜中仰望星辰。


It reads a little awkward.
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My throat knew thirst before the structure
Of skin and vein around the well
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Lake[Lake]
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来自: Sky Blue Water

帖子发表于: 星期四 十月 09, 2008 2:42 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

引用:
當證明啦、數字啦、成排地在我面前


How about

排列在我面前
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川生[川生]
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注册时间: 2008-09-18
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帖子发表于: 星期四 十月 09, 2008 3:28 pm    发表主题: Re: When I heard the Learn’d Astronomer (bilingual) 引用并回复

christine 写到:


When I heard the Learn’d Astronomer by Walt Whitman


Chinese Translation: 當我聽到博學的天文家



IMHO, the Chinese translation of the English title of the poem is literally accurate but not poetic.
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Lines go off in all directions.
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注册时间: 2008-02-07
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帖子发表于: 星期五 十月 10, 2008 8:57 pm    发表主题: Re: When I heard the Learn’d Astronomer (bilingual) 引用并回复

川生 写到:
christine 写到:


When I heard the Learn’d Astronomer by Walt Whitman


Chinese Translation: 當我聽到博學的天文家



IMHO, the Chinese translation of the English title of the poem is literally accurate but not poetic.


How about "一堂滿堂喝采的天文課 ?"
_________________
I came, I saw, and I conquered
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fanfan[FFFFFF]
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四品府丞
(封疆大吏也!)
四品府丞<BR>(封疆大吏也!)


注册时间: 2007-12-27
帖子: 353
来自: Canada

帖子发表于: 星期日 十月 12, 2008 5:21 pm    发表主题: Re: When I heard the Learn’d Astronomer (bilingual) 引用并回复

dundas 写到:


christine 写到:


In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time,
Look’d up in perfect silence at the stars.



Chinese Translation: 當我聽到博學的天文家


在神秘濕潤的夜氣裡,不時地,
在純然的寂靜中仰望星辰。


It reads a little awkward.


How about "夜空?"
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it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon.
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
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二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada

帖子发表于: 星期日 十月 12, 2008 7:35 pm    发表主题: Re: When I heard the Learn’d Astronomer (bilingual) 引用并回复

christine 写到:


When I heard the Learn’d Astronomer by Walt Whitman


When I heard the learn’d astronomer;
When the proofs, the figures, were ranged in columns before me;
When I was shown the charts and the diagrams, to add, divide, and measure them;
When I, sitting, heard the astronomer, where he lectured with much applause in the lecture-room,
How soon, unaccountable, I became tired and sick;
Till rising and gliding out, I wander’d off by myself,
In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time,
Look’d up in perfect silence at the stars.





The following is my response to Whitman's poem:

Gazing, Poetry

Though not in
the Norton Anthology
to gaze at
spring rain
summer sky
autumn leaves
And winter snow
is Poetry

True poetry is found
in the Beautiful
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul
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christine[christine]
christine作品集

四品府丞
(封疆大吏也!)
四品府丞<BR>(封疆大吏也!)


注册时间: 2008-02-25
帖子: 304

帖子发表于: 星期四 十月 16, 2008 9:49 am    发表主题: Re: When I heard the Learn’d Astronomer (bilingual) 引用并回复

hahaview 写到:
川生 写到:
christine 写到:


When I heard the Learn’d Astronomer by Walt Whitman


Chinese Translation: 當我聽到博學的天文家



IMHO, the Chinese translation of the English title of the poem is literally accurate but not poetic.


How about "一堂滿堂喝采的天文課 ?"


I like the markedly satirical tone of this title. Thanks for your valuable suggestion.
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christine[christine]
christine作品集

四品府丞
(封疆大吏也!)
四品府丞<BR>(封疆大吏也!)


注册时间: 2008-02-25
帖子: 304

帖子发表于: 星期四 十月 16, 2008 9:50 am    发表主题: Re: When I heard the Learn’d Astronomer (bilingual) 引用并回复

fanfan 写到:
dundas 写到:


christine 写到:


In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time,
Look’d up in perfect silence at the stars.



Chinese Translation: 當我聽到博學的天文家


在神秘濕潤的夜氣裡,不時地,
在純然的寂靜中仰望星辰。


It reads a little awkward.


How about "夜空?"


Lake 写到:


引用:
當證明啦、數字啦、成排地在我面前


How about

排列在我面前


Thank you all for your attentive reading and helpful suggestions. I'll think them over and revise my translation later.
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christine[christine]
christine作品集

四品府丞
(封疆大吏也!)
四品府丞<BR>(封疆大吏也!)


注册时间: 2008-02-25
帖子: 304

帖子发表于: 星期一 十月 20, 2008 8:46 am    发表主题: Re: When I heard the Learn’d Astronomer (bilingual) 引用并回复

I've revised my translation.

ericcoliu 写到:


The following is my response to Whitman's poem:

Gazing, Poetry

Though not in
the Norton Anthology
to gaze at
spring rain
summer sky
autumn leaves
And winter snow
is Poetry

True poetry is found
in the Beautiful


Is it also a tribute poem to Emily Dickinson?
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hahaview[hahaview]
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六品通判
(官儿做大了,保持廉洁哦)
六品通判<BR>(官儿做大了,保持廉洁哦)


注册时间: 2008-02-07
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帖子发表于: 星期五 十月 24, 2008 4:07 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

Yes, I think so.

To see the Summer Sky by Emily Dickinson


To see the Summer Sky
Is Poetry, though never in a Book it lie—
True Poems flee—


In my view, the second half of the poem is an echo of her poem.
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christine[christine]
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四品府丞
(封疆大吏也!)
四品府丞<BR>(封疆大吏也!)


注册时间: 2008-02-25
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帖子发表于: 星期五 十月 24, 2008 6:30 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

Thanks for posting Dickinson's poem.

hahaview 写到:
Yes, I think so.

To see the Summer Sky by Emily Dickinson


To see the Summer Sky
Is Poetry, though never in a Book it lie

True Poems flee—


In my view, the second half of the poem is an echo of her poem.


In my view, it's the whole poem, an echo of her poem.
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