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温暖的水獸[温暖的水獸] 温暖的水獸作品集 五品知州 (再努力一把就是四品大员了!)
注册时间: 2008-04-23 帖子: 153 来自: 水族箱
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发表于: 星期一 五月 12, 2008 2:45 pm 发表主题: 再別康橋,Farewell Again to Cambridge (revised again) |
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再別康橋,徐志摩
輕輕的我走了,
正如我輕輕的來;
我輕輕的招手,
作別西天的雲彩。
那河畔的金柳,
是夕陽中的新娘;
波光裡的艷影,
在我的心頭蕩漾。
軟泥上的青荇,
油油的在水底招搖:
在康河的柔波裡,
我甘心做一條水草!
那榆蔭下的一潭,
不是清泉,是天上虹
揉碎在浮藻間,
沉澱著彩虹似的夢。
尋夢?撐一支長篙,
向青草更青處漫溯,
滿載一船星輝,
在星輝斑爛裡放歌。
但我不能放歌,
悄悄是別離的笙簫;
夏蟲也為我沉默,
沉默是今晚的康橋!
悄悄的我走了,
正如我悄悄的來;
我揮一揮衣袖,
不帶走一片雲彩。
English Translation
Revised Version: Farewell Again to Cambridge
Quietly I am leaving
Just as quietly as I came;
Quietly I wave a farewell
To the rosy clouds in the western sky.
The golden willow on the riverbank
Is a bride to the setting sun;
Her colourful reflection in the sparkling waves
Ripples through my heart.
The green kelp on the riverbed
Sways gracefully under the surface;
In the gentle currents of Cambridge
I would like to be a waterweed!
That pool under the elm’s shade
Is not a creek, but a rainbow in the sky
Shattered to pieces among the floating green,
Setting into a rainbow dream.
To seek a dream? You can pole a boat
Towards where the green is even greener
With a boatload of stars
And sing aloud in the sparkling lights.
But I cannot sing aloud
Mute is my farewell music;
Even crickets keep silent for me,
And silent is tonight's Cambridge!
Quietly I am leaving
Just as quietly as I came;
I shake my sleeves,
Not to take away a wisp of cloud.
Original Version: Second Farewell to Cambridge
Quietly I am leaving
Just like quietly I came;
Quietly I wave a farewell
To the rosy clouds in the western sky.
The golden willow on the riverbank
Is a bride in the setting sun;
Her colourful reflection
Ripples through my heart.
The green plants on the riverbed
Sway gracefully under the water;
In the gentle currents of Cambridge
I would be like be a water plant!
That pool under the elm’s shade
Is not a creek, but a rainbow in the sky
Shattered to pieces among the floating green,
Setting into a rainbow dream.
To seek a dream? You can pole a boat
Toward where the green is even more green
To have a boatload of stars
And sing aloud in the sparkling starlight.
But I cannot sing aloud
Silence is my farewell music;
Even crickets keep silent for me,
And silence is Cambridge tonight!
Quietly I am leaving
Just like quietly I came;
I shake my sleeves,
Not to take away a wisp of cloud. _________________ 舌頭那匹温暖的水獸 馴養地在小小的水族箱中 蠕動
那獸說:是的 我願意
最后进行编辑的是 温暖的水獸 on 星期一 六月 09, 2008 9:48 am, 总计第 2 次编辑 |
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu] ericcoliu作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2007-05-29 帖子: 1393 来自: GTA, Canada
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发表于: 星期一 五月 12, 2008 8:12 pm 发表主题: Re: 再別康橋,Second Farewell to Cambridge |
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温暖的水獸 写到: |
English Translation
Second Farewell to Cambridge
Quietly I am leaving
Just like quietly I came;
Quietly I wave a farewell
To the rosy clouds in the western sky.
In the gentle currents of Cambridge
I would be like be a water plant!
Quietly I am leaving
Just like quietly I came;
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Just as quietly as I came;
I would like to be a water plant! _________________ Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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浴恩福[浴恩福] 浴恩福作品集 六品通判 (官儿做大了,保持廉洁哦)
注册时间: 2008-05-08 帖子: 123 来自: 多倫多
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发表于: 星期二 五月 13, 2008 10:58 am 发表主题: Re: 再別康橋,Second Farewell to Cambridge |
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温暖的水獸 写到: |
軟泥上的青荇,
油油的在水底招搖:
在康河的柔波裡,
我甘心做一條水草!
The green plants on the riverbed
Sway gracefully under the water;
In the gentle currents of Cambridge
I would be like be a water plant!
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I think you need to find better English words to translate 青荇. _________________ 報三恩、耕三大福田 |
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Champagne[Champagne] Champagne作品集 四品府丞 (封疆大吏也!)
注册时间: 2007-09-15 帖子: 394 来自: Nowhere & Everywhere
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发表于: 星期二 五月 13, 2008 9:20 pm 发表主题: Re: 再別康橋,Second Farewell to Cambridge |
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浴恩福 写到: |
I think you need to find better English words to translate 青荇. |
It's a water plant, Nymphoides peltalum. _________________ I'm Champagne,
Bottled poetry with sparkling joy. |
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Lake[Lake] Lake作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2006-10-10 帖子: 1341 来自: Sky Blue Water
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发表于: 星期三 五月 14, 2008 12:16 am 发表主题: |
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For some reason, I don't quite like 'second' in the title "Second Farewell to Cambridge". |
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christine[christine] christine作品集 四品府丞 (封疆大吏也!)
注册时间: 2008-02-25 帖子: 304
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发表于: 星期三 五月 14, 2008 11:53 am 发表主题: |
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How about "Farewell to Cambridge, Again?" |
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu] ericcoliu作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2007-05-29 帖子: 1393 来自: GTA, Canada
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发表于: 星期三 五月 14, 2008 2:26 pm 发表主题: Re: 再別康橋,Second Farewell to Cambridge |
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Champagne 写到: |
浴恩福 写到: |
I think you need to find better English words to translate 青荇. |
It's a water plant, Nymphoides peltalum. |
Interestingly tongue-twisted name.
My suggestion is as follows:
The green water weeds on the riverbed
Sway gracefully under the water;
In the gentle currents of Cambridge
I would like to be a water weed! _________________ Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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Champagne[Champagne] Champagne作品集 四品府丞 (封疆大吏也!)
注册时间: 2007-09-15 帖子: 394 来自: Nowhere & Everywhere
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发表于: 星期四 五月 15, 2008 9:20 am 发表主题: Re: 再別康橋,Second Farewell to Cambridge |
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温暖的水獸 写到: |
但我不能放歌,
悄悄是別離的笙簫;
夏蟲也為我沉默,
沉默是今晚的康橋!
But I cannot sing aloud
Silence is my farewell music;
Even crickets keep silent for me,
And silence is Cambridge tonight!
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My suggestions are as follows:
But I cannot sing aloud
Mute is my farewell music;
Even crickets keep silent for me,
And silent is Cambridge tonight! _________________ I'm Champagne,
Bottled poetry with sparkling joy. |
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温暖的水獸[温暖的水獸] 温暖的水獸作品集 五品知州 (再努力一把就是四品大员了!)
注册时间: 2008-04-23 帖子: 153 来自: 水族箱
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发表于: 星期四 五月 15, 2008 2:31 pm 发表主题: Re: 再別康橋,Second Farewell to Cambridge |
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ericcoliu 写到: |
Interestingly tongue-twisted name.
My suggestion is as follows:
The green water weeds on the riverbed
Sway gracefully under the water;
In the gentle currents of Cambridge
I would like to be a water weed! |
How about:
"The green waterweeds on the riverbed
Sway gracefully under the water;
In the gentle currents of Cambridge
I would like to be a waterweed!"
I asked my friend about the English translation of "青荇" and she told me that there is a common word for 青荇 -- that is kelp. _________________ 舌頭那匹温暖的水獸 馴養地在小小的水族箱中 蠕動
那獸說:是的 我願意 |
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温暖的水獸[温暖的水獸] 温暖的水獸作品集 五品知州 (再努力一把就是四品大员了!)
注册时间: 2008-04-23 帖子: 153 来自: 水族箱
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发表于: 星期四 五月 15, 2008 2:33 pm 发表主题: |
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christine 写到: | How about "Farewell to Cambridge, Again?" |
Good. Thanks.
Champagne 写到: |
My suggestions are as follows:
But I cannot sing aloud
Mute is my farewell music;
Even crickets keep silent for me,
And silent is Cambridge tonight! |
Good. Thanks. _________________ 舌頭那匹温暖的水獸 馴養地在小小的水族箱中 蠕動
那獸說:是的 我願意 |
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温暖的水獸[温暖的水獸] 温暖的水獸作品集 五品知州 (再努力一把就是四品大员了!)
注册时间: 2008-04-23 帖子: 153 来自: 水族箱
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发表于: 星期二 六月 03, 2008 1:50 pm 发表主题: |
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Thank you all for your reading and comments.
I've revised my translation and changed the title of my translation to "Farewell Again to Cambridge." _________________ 舌頭那匹温暖的水獸 馴養地在小小的水族箱中 蠕動
那獸說:是的 我願意 |
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fanfan[FFFFFF] fanfan作品集 四品府丞 (封疆大吏也!)
注册时间: 2007-12-27 帖子: 353 来自: Canada
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发表于: 星期二 六月 03, 2008 8:56 pm 发表主题: Re: 再別康橋,Farewell Again to Cambridge (revised) |
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温暖的水獸 写到: |
那河畔的金柳,
是夕陽中的新娘;
波光裡的艷影,
在我的心頭蕩漾。
The golden willow on the riverbank
Is a bride in the setting sun;
Her colourful reflection
Ripples through my heart.
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My suggestion for the translation of stanza two is as follows:
The golden willow on the riverbank
Is a bride to the setting sun;
Her colourful reflection in the sparkling waves
Ripples through my heart. _________________ Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon. |
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu] ericcoliu作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2007-05-29 帖子: 1393 来自: GTA, Canada
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发表于: 星期二 六月 03, 2008 11:13 pm 发表主题: Re: 再別康橋,Farewell Again to Cambridge (revised) |
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温暖的水獸 写到: |
To seek a dream? You can pole a boat
Towards where the green is even greener
To have a boatload of stars
And sing aloud in the sparkling lights.
But I cannot sing aloud
Mute is my farewell music;
Even crickets keep silent for me,
And silent is Cambridge tonight!
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My suggestion for the translation of the two stanzas above is as follows:
To seek a dream? You can pole a boat
Towards where the green is even greener
With a boatload of stars
And sing aloud in the sparkling lights.
But I cannot sing aloud
Mute is my farewell music;
Even crickets keep silent for me,
And silent is tonight's Cambridge! _________________ Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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返回页首 |
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温暖的水獸[温暖的水獸] 温暖的水獸作品集 五品知州 (再努力一把就是四品大员了!)
注册时间: 2008-04-23 帖子: 153 来自: 水族箱
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发表于: 星期一 六月 09, 2008 9:45 am 发表主题: Re: 再別康橋,Farewell Again to Cambridge (revised) |
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fanfan 写到: |
My suggestion for the translation of stanza two is as follows:
The golden willow on the riverbank
Is a bride to the setting sun;
Her colourful reflection in the sparkling waves
Ripples through my heart. |
ericcoliu 写到: |
My suggestion for the translation of the two stanzas above is as follows:
To seek a dream? You can pole a boat
Towards where the green is even greener
With a boatload of stars
And sing aloud in the sparkling lights.
But I cannot sing aloud
Mute is my farewell music;
Even crickets keep silent for me,
And silent is tonight's Cambridge! |
Good suggestions.
Thanks for your valuable suggestions. _________________ 舌頭那匹温暖的水獸 馴養地在小小的水族箱中 蠕動
那獸說:是的 我願意 |
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戴玨[Edgar] 戴玨作品集 五品知州 (再努力一把就是四品大员了!)
注册时间: 2006-12-26 帖子: 213
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发表于: 星期一 六月 09, 2008 6:50 pm 发表主题: Re: 再別康橋,Second Farewell to Cambridge |
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温暖的水獸 写到: | ericcoliu 写到: |
Interestingly tongue-twisted name.
My suggestion is as follows:
The green water weeds on the riverbed
Sway gracefully under the water;
In the gentle currents of Cambridge
I would like to be a water weed! |
How about:
"The green waterweeds on the riverbed
Sway gracefully under the water;
In the gentle currents of Cambridge
I would like to be a waterweed!"
I asked my friend about the English translation of "青荇" and she told me that there is a common word for 青荇 -- that is kelp. |
kelp是一種褐色水藻。另外weed作水草解時不可數。 _________________ 我的blog:
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1310527443 |
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