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Lake[Lake] Lake作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2006-10-10 帖子: 1341 来自: Sky Blue Water
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发表于: 星期五 四月 04, 2008 10:09 pm 发表主题: tanka |
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helpless on the couch
my once vigorous father
points to the clivia
that unfurls its petals
in the morning dew
along the floor board
on the carpet a wet stain
where mould grows
day by day, a young heart
gradually filled with mildew
最后进行编辑的是 Lake on 星期三 四月 09, 2008 3:54 pm, 总计第 1 次编辑 |
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu] ericcoliu作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2007-05-29 帖子: 1393 来自: GTA, Canada
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发表于: 星期六 四月 05, 2008 7:07 am 发表主题: Re: tanka |
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Lake 写到: |
my once vigorous father
points to the clivia
that unfurl its petals
in the morning dew
day by day, a young heart
gradually filled with mildew
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It's really heart-wrenching to see one's parents aging and just not the same as they once were.
I hope,
"in the dew of little things, the heart finds its morning and is refreshed." — Kahlil Gibran _________________ Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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christine[christine] christine作品集 四品府丞 (封疆大吏也!)
注册时间: 2008-02-25 帖子: 304
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发表于: 星期六 四月 05, 2008 12:46 pm 发表主题: Re: tanka |
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Lake 写到: |
helpless on the couch
my once vigorous father
points to the clivia
that unfurl its petals
in the morning dew
along the floor board
on the carpet a wet stain
where mould grows
day by day, a young heart
gradually filled with mildew |
A disheartening parallel between the worrying speaker and the aging parent. |
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星子[ANNA] 星子作品集 酷我!I made it!
注册时间: 2004-06-05 帖子: 13192 来自: Toronto
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发表于: 星期六 四月 05, 2008 8:48 pm 发表主题: |
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Sometimes when I see my parents get old, I am sad.
But last year they looked younger, it made me think how to grow old.
Age may not be the feareast . . . _________________
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dundas[dundas] dundas作品集 五品知州 (再努力一把就是四品大员了!)
注册时间: 2008-02-23 帖子: 214
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发表于: 星期一 四月 07, 2008 12:36 pm 发表主题: Re: tanka |
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Lake 写到: |
helpless on the couch
my once vigorous father
points to the clivia
that unfurl its petals
in the morning dew
along the floor board
on the carpet a wet stain
where mould grows
day by day, a young heart
gradually filled with mildew |
A saddening parallel. _________________ My throat knew thirst before the structure
Of skin and vein around the well |
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Lake[Lake] Lake作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2006-10-10 帖子: 1341 来自: Sky Blue Water
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发表于: 星期三 四月 09, 2008 3:52 pm 发表主题: |
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Thank you all for the comments.
Interesting enough, these two verses were not written at the same time nor intended to be put together. Like Haiku, Tanka usually does not have a title unless a few are written in a sequence then a title is given. That's why I didn't have a title for them, I didn't number them either since they were not written in a sequence. From the readers' reaction however, it looks like these two seem to have a linkage.
Yeah, heart-wrenching, disheartening, saddening, that's all the poem tries to convey.
"Age may not be the feareast", aging alone may not be the most frightening thing, but aging plus being sick plus being helpless plus being alone is, I suppose.
Thanks again. |
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fanfan[FAFAFA] fanfan作品集 四品府丞 (封疆大吏也!)
注册时间: 2007-12-27 帖子: 353 来自: Canada
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发表于: 星期六 四月 12, 2008 8:11 am 发表主题: |
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Lake 写到: |
Interesting enough, these two verses were not written at the same time nor intended to be put together. Like Haiku, Tanka usually does not have a title unless a few are written in a sequence then a title is given. That's why I didn't have a title for them, I didn't number them either since they were not written in a sequence. From the readers' reaction however, it looks like these two seem to have a linkage.
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For some, reading is like adventures in border-crossing. _________________ Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon. |
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Lake[Lake] Lake作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2006-10-10 帖子: 1341 来自: Sky Blue Water
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发表于: 星期日 四月 13, 2008 12:33 am 发表主题: |
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fanfan 写到: |
For some, reading is like adventures in border-crossing. |
Good point. It is the charm of reading. |
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