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Poem I puzzled (Please share your thoughts)

 
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星子[ANNA]
星子作品集

酷我!I made it!
酷我!I made it!


注册时间: 2004-06-05
帖子: 13192
来自: Toronto

帖子发表于: 星期五 二月 01, 2008 9:49 am    发表主题: Poem I puzzled (Please share your thoughts) 引用并回复

My mentor keeps writing her journal. She asks me to do the same. Though I don’t have much time to do this, I slowly develop a habit to write it in my head. I hope I also write it in the paper when I have time.
Lately I read a lot. I talk with a few other poets for suggestions. They all think I have developed my voice, but how to break the limit is hard to say. Reading more and more, and writing more and more, they suggest.

Reading really enriches my world. I find there are so many powerful poems I never read before. There are all kinds of voices. Each is unique and enchanting. Some voices are silent, piercing. Other voices are uplifting. An amazing world. Here I want to share a few poems which I love very much, but I am not quite sure about them.

You are happy

By Margaret Atwood

The water turns
a long way down over the raw stone,
ice crusts around it

We walk separately
along the hill to the open
beach, unused
picnic tables, wind
shoving the brown waves, erosion, gravel
rasping on gravel.

In the ditch a deer
carcass, no head. Bird
running across the glaring
road against the low pink sun.

When you are this
cold you can think about
nothing but the cold, the images

hitting into your eyes
like needles, crystals, you are happy.

I wonder here You who it is. the narrator or the narrator’s lover?
The tone is very cold and silent, then why you are happy? For what?
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集

二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada

帖子发表于: 星期五 二月 01, 2008 12:06 pm    发表主题: Re: Poem I puzzled (Please share your thoughts) 引用并回复

星子 写到:


Reading really enriches my world. I find there are so many powerful poems I never read before.




Yes, thump up! In my "personal" view, an aspiring writer must be a student hungry for books and plagiarising Masters' ideas.

Along the path of a poet in the making, every inch of the way is paved with verse, others' and his/her own. Both are bad as well as good; between them, they show a real talent emerging from sciolism and mimicry.

In my "personal' view again, you're a poet in the making; over time, through reading and writing, you'll make your name as a poet bent on making things new.


星子 写到:



You are happy By Margaret Atwood

The water turns
a long way down over the raw stone,
ice crusts around it

We walk separately
along the hill to the open
beach, unused
picnic tables
, wind
shoving the brown waves, erosion, gravel
rasping on gravel.

In the ditch a deer
carcass, no head. Bird
running across the glaring
road against the low pink sun.

When you are this
cold
you can think about
nothing but the cold, the images

hitting into your eyes
like needles, crystals, you are happy.


(emphasis mine)

I wonder here You who it is. the narrator or the narrator’s lover?
The tone is very cold and silent, then why you are happy? For what?



I think "you' in the poem is the narrator's lover.

This poem implies a growing alienation between "we" in the poem by its description of the beach scene, dening the possibility of happiness. The indicator of the narrator’s alienation is the ending “you” “are happy,” not “we are happy.” The title of the poem reveals it all, ironically.
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Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul
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anna[星子安娜]
anna作品集

Site Admin


注册时间: 2004-05-02
帖子: 7141

帖子发表于: 星期五 二月 01, 2008 12:45 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

Hi Eric.

Yes. I agree with you. But I also wonder why the images hitting into your eyes, not my eyes?
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com
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fanfan[FFFFFF]
fanfan作品集

四品府丞
(封疆大吏也!)
四品府丞<BR>(封疆大吏也!)


注册时间: 2007-12-27
帖子: 353
来自: Canada

帖子发表于: 星期五 二月 01, 2008 6:23 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

anna 写到:


But I also wonder why the images hitting into your eyes, not my eyes?



Judging from the preceding stanza, I think the narrator complains about her lover’s indifferent attitude -- " When you are this / cold you can think about / nothing but the cold " -- towards their glowing alienated relationship which is embodied in the cold beach scene.
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it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon.
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星子[ANNA]
星子作品集

酷我!I made it!
酷我!I made it!


注册时间: 2004-06-05
帖子: 13192
来自: Toronto

帖子发表于: 星期五 二月 01, 2008 8:33 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

What does the hit into mean in Chinese?
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戴玨[Edgar]
戴玨作品集

五品知州
(再努力一把就是四品大员了!)
五品知州<BR>(再努力一把就是四品大员了!)


注册时间: 2006-12-26
帖子: 213

帖子发表于: 星期六 二月 02, 2008 1:19 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

星子 写到:
What does the hit into mean in Chinese?

Here hit means arrive, reach.
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我的blog:
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星子[ANNA]
星子作品集

酷我!I made it!
酷我!I made it!


注册时间: 2004-06-05
帖子: 13192
来自: Toronto

帖子发表于: 星期一 二月 04, 2008 11:14 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

Thank you, Edgar.
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非马[FFFFFF]
非马作品集

二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2005-10-15
帖子: 1053

帖子发表于: 星期二 二月 05, 2008 9:48 am    发表主题: 引用并回复

星子 写到:
What does the hit into mean in Chinese?

Good discussions.
刺痛你的眼?
Also, I think "you" in the poem could mean either the narrator or the narrator’s lover, or both.
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anna[星子安娜]
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注册时间: 2004-05-02
帖子: 7141

帖子发表于: 星期二 二月 05, 2008 2:50 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

Thanks 非马 for reading and comments.

I agree with you.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com
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