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The Toiling Spider (Haibun, revised)

 
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fanfan[FAFAFA]
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帖子发表于: 星期二 一月 01, 2008 6:51 pm    发表主题: The Toiling Spider (Haibun, revised) 引用并回复

The Toiling Spider co-authored with ericcoliu

The spider eats all kinds of insects and then spins her web. When she exudes her filament, she has no idea about where the wind will carry it; but once it is attached to something, her web will be formed. If she has good luck, her web will be formed on a tree twig. When the sun shines upon it, her thin filaments will be sparkling with the colors of a rainbow. If by chance there are dewdrops upon her web, it will appear more splendid and dazzling. If she has no luck, her web won't last for a while. But once it is broken, she will retreat until she finds another opportunity to spin a better one. Whether her web is broken or remains whole, she can only leave it to Mother Nature.


Out of herself
launching forth filaments
ever spinning and mending them
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最后进行编辑的是 fanfan on 星期三 十月 29, 2008 5:31 pm, 总计第 4 次编辑
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帖子发表于: 星期二 一月 01, 2008 9:12 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

An interesting and thoughtful haibun.

A toiling spider is a "noiseless patient spider," which is the title of Walt Whitman’s poem.

I think you can leave out the last sentence, of which the main theme is articulated in the embedded haiku.
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帖子发表于: 星期二 一月 01, 2008 10:59 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

Yes, keep spinning your threads be it sunny or rainy day, you'll be there.

I second Eric's comment on the last sentence.

Well done.
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帖子发表于: 星期三 一月 02, 2008 9:15 am    发表主题: 引用并回复

ericcoliu 写到:


A toiling spider is a "noiseless patient spider," which is the title of Walt Whitman’s poem.



Yes, it's my homage to Walt Whitman.

ericcoliu 写到:


I think you can leave out the last sentence, of which the main theme is articulated in the embedded haiku.



Yes, you're right. Thanks again.
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帖子发表于: 星期三 一月 02, 2008 9:22 am    发表主题: 引用并回复

Thanks for commenting on my writing and for encouragement.

Lake 写到:


Yes, keep spinning your threads be it sunny or rainy day, you'll be there.



In her mind, she knows her web won't last forever; moreover, she doesn't know when or how her web will be broken.

Spinning and mending her web is a constant Sisyphusian struggle.
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帖子发表于: 星期四 一月 03, 2008 10:03 am    发表主题: 引用并回复

I've revised my haibun and made it more succinct.
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帖子发表于: 星期四 一月 03, 2008 11:24 am    发表主题: 引用并回复

Interesting thoughts about spider and oneself.

I still think too much description about the spider and the situation.
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帖子发表于: 星期四 一月 03, 2008 5:41 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

fanfan 写到:


I've revised my haibun and made it more succinct.



Yes, your embedded haiku reminds me of Walt Whitman's poem, in which the speaker describes the spider as launching forth filament, filament, filament into the universe and those essential strings become metaphors for the efforts of the human soul to reach and build and believe.
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帖子发表于: 星期五 一月 04, 2008 12:15 am    发表主题: 引用并回复

fanfan 写到:

Spinning and mending her web is a constant Sisyphusian struggle.


That sounds so hopeless, pessimistic. She doesn't deserve that.
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帖子发表于: 星期六 一月 05, 2008 9:21 am    发表主题: 引用并回复

Lake 写到:


That sounds so hopeless, pessimistic. She doesn't deserve that.



It's pessimistic-optimism.

"The struggle itself is enough to fill a man's[woman's] heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy."

-- Albert Camus, The Myth of Sisyphus
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帖子发表于: 星期六 一月 05, 2008 5:16 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

fanfan 写到:


one must imagine Sisyphus happy.



In your view, this kind of imagination can confront and revolt against Sisyphus's ceaseless and pointless toil?
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帖子发表于: 星期三 一月 09, 2008 3:10 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

ericcoliu 写到:


In your view, this kind of imagination can confront and revolt against Sisyphus's ceaseless and pointless toil?



Yes.

So long as she/he accepts that there is nothing more to life than this absurd struggle, then he can find happiness in it.
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