酷我-北美枫

星子 · 酷我！I made it！ 注册时间: 2004-06-05 帖子: 13192 来自: Toronto

Father and Daughter

The pleasure of rain swirls about her
As she plays in the puddles at his feet
Smiles wade into golden tresses
Warm hands cradle his little petite

She stands on stones and stares up at him
Casting magic into gentle eyes
No ogre could come to trample here
A lion sleeps by her side

As snowy blankets are tucked away
And robins trill the pines
A cupid claims Papa’s pearl
A tear drops in the wine

Little toes have come and gone
And tiny shoes adorn the mantle
Where wearied bones would dream away
To ocean songs and starry candles

Waves wander the rugged shoreline
Grinding stone into sand
Again he strays into the night
A fog is crawling ‘cross the land

Sky full of molten sun
Hides the tempest in the bay
Inside his head a stranger walks
It’s come to take his mind away

A shadow lingers on the bluff
As the skin of the moon falls pale
Her cello cries out to his soul
Left foundering in the gale

Now lullaby visits soothe the strings
As a storm of faces comes calling
Moments in time adrift in space
The dominoes are falling

Silent clouds in the window
Creeping up along the coast
In her arms he quietly sings
As he sails away on the ship of ghosts

BY Patrick Meade September/2007

父亲和女儿

她在他脚边的水坑中嬉戏
乐趣回旋在雨中
微笑趟过金黄的发辫,
温暖的手安抚着他的小女孩

她站在石头上仰视他,
魔力投入他仁慈的眼睛
没有残暴的人践踏那儿
一头狮子睡在她的近旁

当雪花被子卷起
知更鸟在松枝颤鸣
丘比特索要爸爸的珍珠
为父的泪花溅落酒中

时光流逝,孩儿来来往往
小巧的童鞋装饰着壁炉披件
疲惫的脊梁梦幻着
大海的歌唱和如星的烛光

高低不平的海岸线
波澜徘徊,层层磨砾着沙石
他一再游离到夜里
一片雾刚好爬越陆地

天空满布炽烈的太阳
大风暴隐藏在海湾
他头脑中一个陌生人走来
带走他的魂魄

当月亮肤色煞白
一个影子逗留在绝壁
她的大提琴哭唤着心灵
乐音留在暴风中沉降

现在摇篮曲平抚着根根乐弦
云集的面孔呼唤着他
时空飘浮着碎片
多米洛骨牌似地倒下

默然的云彩窗口浮现
慢慢爬上海岸
在她的臂弯里,他安静地吟唱
不久将乘着鬼魂之船驶离
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ericcoliu · 发表于: 星期五十二月 28, 2007 8:04 pm 发表主题:

In Chinese, 那时 refers to a time frame in the past.
In the English edition of your poem, the verb tense of those sentences concerning 那时 is the simple present tense.
The simple present tense is used in this English poem to express habitual or repetitive actions.
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Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

星子 · 发表于: 星期五十二月 28, 2007 8:40 pm 发表主题:

Lake · 发表于: 星期六十二月 29, 2007 8:56 am 发表主题:

把‘那时’去掉有什么不同吗？

ship of ghosts
魔鬼的航船

ghosts 能否译为 ‘灵魂’？

星子 · 发表于: 星期六十二月 29, 2007 9:55 am 发表主题:

谢谢LAKE.

我只是觉得加上"那时"更好理解和朗读... 现把我和作者的书信贴出,看看我翻译是否贴切?

Hi Anna,
Thank you for your interest in my poetry. I hope you are enjoying this holiday season. This poem tells the story of a parent and child. In the beginning the father was taking care of and playing with his baby daughter ( she had blond hair) (another name for that hair would be golden tresses. His little petite means the little daughter (like a little baby). He was holding her in his arms.
A tear drops in the wine means that his heart is happy and broken at the same time. His daughter is being married ( a cupid claims Papa's pearl) yet he is saddened and will miss her as she leaves for a new life with her husband.
Little toes have come and gone (refers to the passage of time] means that the daughter has had children and they have grown up. The father would sing songs to them by the seaside under the stars. The cello reference by the way refers to Alzheimers patients being touch by music. Research suggests that music is one of the last things that they hold onto and are comforted by music.
A storm of faces means that later in life when the father became confused with memory loss, dementia and Alzheimers disease he couldn't tell who came to visit him. It was like a storm of winds and fog. And in the end the roles were switched in that the daughter was now holding the father in her arms and taking care of him. It is a tragic cycle of life.
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fanfan · 发表于: 星期日十二月 30, 2007 8:33 pm 发表主题:

星子 · 发表于: 星期一十二月 31, 2007 10:13 pm 发表主题:

Hi Fanfan,

Thank you very much.

Yes, it is better.
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Champagne · 发表于: 星期二一月 01, 2008 11:29 am 发表主题:

星子 · 发表于: 星期二一月 01, 2008 3:50 pm 发表主题:

Hi Champagne,

Thank you very much for sharing your comments. Let me read it more.

Happy new year.

revised it.
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