酷我-北美枫

ZY · 发表于: 星期三五月 09, 2007 7:45 pm 发表主题: How do I?

How do I listen
To a ear of corn, wrapped
In layers of resistance?
The field is crowded,
The silence cold,
Passing wings of sparrows folded,
A scarecrow idle.

How do I see
The eye of a departing storm
Through layers of cloud icy?
The mist slowly flowed
Over maple woods frosted,
Down-trodden trail frozen below,
A bonfire deprived of smoke.

5/9/2007

星子 · 发表于: 星期三五月 09, 2007 9:37 pm 发表主题:

Good and profound.

Vivid and clear images are fit tightly.
_________________

ZY · 发表于: 星期四五月 10, 2007 7:20 am 发表主题:

Lake · 发表于: 星期四五月 10, 2007 8:48 am 发表主题:

Neat and compact. Good rhyming, internal, slanted and some alliterations.

I feel like waiting for more:

how do we feel...
how do we smell...
how do we...

Smile

"a ear of corn", an ear of corn?

Thanks,

ZY · 发表于: 星期四五月 10, 2007 9:59 am 发表主题:

Lake,

I did thought about "a ear". But since the spellcheck in WORD did not object, I let it go.

Of course, you see the little play on word in:
How do we "listen"/To a "ear"...

and,
How do we "see"/The "eye"...

As to smell, hum,...maybe there can be a sequel, if I figure out similar word-play.

Thanks for your good words.
Cheers.

Lake · 发表于: 星期四五月 10, 2007 11:43 am 发表主题: