酷我-北美枫

[anna]

With two Mark's Suggestion, here is the revision:

We painted my son's room.
He chose the color blue,
it's supposed to be cool.

We end the day there
he reads his book,
I read mine, we dream.

Nearby, a new library will be
an ocean of books. I will throw
him in so he can learn to swim.

I joined a new poetry group I,
I am the youngest, surrounded
by deep lakes and old trees.

Thirty years from now
I will be like them, settled
in my meditation.

By then, my son
will be sailing on his ambition,
exploring beyond my ocean.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

With two Mark's Suggestion, here is the revision:

We painted my son's room.
He chose the color blue,
it's supposed to be cool.

We end the day there
he reads his book,
I read mine, we dream.

Nearby, a new library will be
an ocean of books. I will throw
him in so he can learn to swim.

I joined a new poetry group I,
I am the youngest, surrounded
by deep lakes and old trees.

Thirty years from now
I will be like them, settled
in my meditation.

By then, my son
will be sailing on his ambition,
exploring beyond my ocean.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[anna]

Comments from Penshell

What we want and wish for our children
always seems more than what we have ever had
or ever took the time to think we needed

but its never too late

I love how you bring the example of elder poets
into this poem

its true, they have been so many more places
than we might be able to imagine

they have explorations beneath their feet
and more memory boxes full of hearts

They are like deep lakes and old trees,
this line is beautiful in capturing the wisdom

of your fellow poets

Keep writing Anna..you are a beautiful soul
and you sound like a mother everyone would want
to love them

~NIK~
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

Comments from Penshell

What we want and wish for our children
always seems more than what we have ever had
or ever took the time to think we needed

but its never too late

I love how you bring the example of elder poets
into this poem

its true, they have been so many more places
than we might be able to imagine

they have explorations beneath their feet
and more memory boxes full of hearts

They are like deep lakes and old trees,
this line is beautiful in capturing the wisdom

of your fellow poets

Keep writing Anna..you are a beautiful soul
and you sound like a mother everyone would want
to love them

~NIK~
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[Lake]

[[Lake]]

[博弈]

a quick cut of another version

My son’s room is painted in blue,
the color he chose
to suppose cool.

We close the night there.
He’d read his books,
I read mine, and more.

A new library nearby will soon open,
ocean of books, I mean to throw him in
to build his stronger wings.

The poet group I join,
I am the youngest,
not to be surprised, surrounded by the retired.

They are like deep lakes and old trees,
yet warm thoughts and vigorous recalls,
yawn ‘n dawn as zephyrs come and go.

I foresee thirty years later
I am like them, settled
in my meditation and reflection,
much joy and peace to have.
And my son, sails on his ambition
to explore beyond my ocean.
_________________
Sometimes I am busy
Sometimes I am free
In between, there's it
Until I find thee...

[[Mark]]

a quick cut of another version

My son’s room is painted in blue,
the color he chose
to suppose cool.

We close the night there.
He’d read his books,
I read mine, and more.

A new library nearby will soon open,
ocean of books, I mean to throw him in
to build his stronger wings.

The poet group I join,
I am the youngest,
not to be surprised, surrounded by the retired.

They are like deep lakes and old trees,
yet warm thoughts and vigorous recalls,
yawn ‘n dawn as zephyrs come and go.

I foresee thirty years later
I am like them, settled
in my meditation and reflection,
much joy and peace to have.
And my son, sails on his ambition
to explore beyond my ocean.
_________________
Sometimes I am busy
Sometimes I am free
In between, there's it
Until I find thee...

[anna]

Thanks lake.

Sometimes I have a habit to say words in my way.... not good... ^^
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

Thanks lake.

Sometimes I have a habit to say words in my way.... not good... ^^
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[anna]

Thanks Mark.

You know I have another good friend (a local poet) named Mark too.

Today I also sent my poem to him for his suggestion.

I like your cutting... and revision... much neat.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

Thanks Mark.

You know I have another good friend (a local poet) named Mark too.

Today I also sent my poem to him for his suggestion.

I like your cutting... and revision... much neat.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[星子]

Thanks Lake and Mark,

I made the revision combined with your suggestion.
_________________

[[ANNA]]

Thanks Lake and Mark,

I made the revision combined with your suggestion.
_________________

[星子]

revised it again to trim the words not adding meanings.
_________________

[[ANNA]]

revised it again to trim the words not adding meanings.
_________________