酷我-北美枫

[佩玖]

这首就是丁尼生那首名诗吧？看了半天才知道，但尼生是不是港台的译法啊？著名翻译家飞白的译本应该是最容易找到的：

越过海滩


太阳沉没，晚星闪烁，
一个清晰的呼声在召唤我！
愿海滩不要哀泣呜咽，
当我出海的时刻。

浑然流动的潮水似已睡去，
潮太满了．反而无声无息，
从无边的海洋里汲取的，
如今又复归去。

暮色茫茫，晚钟轻轻．
接着是黑暗降临！
但愿不要有诀别的悲痛
当我启航的时辰；

虽然潮水会把我带到无限遥远，
越出我们的时间、空间，
我希望见到领航人，面对着面，
当我越过了海滩。

这首诗的喻意网上到处可以看到的，无需看什么学术著作那么夸张吧？

[[佩玖]]

这首就是丁尼生那首名诗吧？看了半天才知道，但尼生是不是港台的译法啊？著名翻译家飞白的译本应该是最容易找到的：

越过海滩


太阳沉没，晚星闪烁，
一个清晰的呼声在召唤我！
愿海滩不要哀泣呜咽，
当我出海的时刻。

浑然流动的潮水似已睡去，
潮太满了．反而无声无息，
从无边的海洋里汲取的，
如今又复归去。

暮色茫茫，晚钟轻轻．
接着是黑暗降临！
但愿不要有诀别的悲痛
当我启航的时辰；

虽然潮水会把我带到无限遥远，
越出我们的时间、空间，
我希望见到领航人，面对着面，
当我越过了海滩。

这首诗的喻意网上到处可以看到的，无需看什么学术著作那么夸张吧？

[clair]

[[clair]]

[佩玖]

我只是个读者，翻译艺术上的东西也插不上嘴，呵呵！

又看了一下，这句
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
从语法上讲更像是指某种事物而不是人物，要不然作者会写成
When that who drew from out the boundless deep

[[佩玖]]

我只是个读者，翻译艺术上的东西也插不上嘴，呵呵！

又看了一下，这句
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
从语法上讲更像是指某种事物而不是人物，要不然作者会写成
When that who drew from out the boundless deep

[clair]

Be an attentive reader.

Have you read through all the replies from both sides?

I think 戴玨's Chinese translation of the title of the poem is more accurate.

[[clair]]

Be an attentive reader.

Have you read through all the replies from both sides?

I think 戴玨's Chinese translation of the title of the poem is more accurate.

[ericcoliu]

[[ericcoliu]]

[anna]

Sometimes, I think the valued goal outlined on the front page of Coviews reads like meaningless statements because the majority of participants here pay little attention to or don't want to learn something new and important that can broaden their horizon of knowledge, and because they are committed writers of their own work and causal / inattentive reader of pieces by others while making self-conceivedly sound judgments in reviewing them[/quote]

I believe good writting can do its own trick and catch others' sight and speak for itself.

valued comments or discussion should also be honest and open-mind.

I don't think we should force the readers to be attentive. Good writting stands for itself.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

Sometimes, I think the valued goal outlined on the front page of Coviews reads like meaningless statements because the majority of participants here pay little attention to or don't want to learn something new and important that can broaden their horizon of knowledge, and because they are committed writers of their own work and causal / inattentive reader of pieces by others while making self-conceivedly sound judgments in reviewing them[/quote]

I believe good writting can do its own trick and catch others' sight and speak for itself.

valued comments or discussion should also be honest and open-mind.

I don't think we should force the readers to be attentive. Good writting stands for itself.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[戴玨]

[[Edgar]]

[戴玨]

I apologize if my remarks have caused any misunderstanding or offended anyone in any way. I will certainly take everyone's comments into account when I revise this translation, thank you!
_________________
我的blog:
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1310527443

[[Edgar]]

I apologize if my remarks have caused any misunderstanding or offended anyone in any way. I will certainly take everyone's comments into account when I revise this translation, thank you!
_________________
我的blog:
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1310527443

[末梵]

学习

[[...]]

学习

[Lake]

From what I've read from him so far, I believe 戴玨 is a serious translator. I haven't found in his works major errors which could be easily spotted in others' works. His response to my question demonstrates that he has the line well thought out whether it is satisfactory to others or not. That said, I still feel there are a couple of small glitches.

但這移動的汐潮像是睡了，
滿得既無泡沫也無聲響，
此時那來自無垠深海的
又一次掉頭還鄉。

浑然流动的潮水似已睡去，
潮太满了．反而无声无息，
从无边的海洋里汲取的，
如今又复归去。

The two translations though both end with '的', somehow I feel the second easier to read. Anyone can explain why?

All I was trying to say is that translation is not an easy job, it is an art (any translated poems done in half an hour or an hour? Sorry, I just don't buy it. And there are people who are doing it just like that. Of course, 戴玨 is not one of them. ). From my personal experience, while the acquisition of background information and apprehension of related references helps understand a poem and build up one's confidence, when coming to the translation, sometimes it just doesn't seem to help much.

I know it's easier said than done, and I simply can't do it any better than the two posted here.

Let's move on, forward and upward.

[[Lake]]

From what I've read from him so far, I believe 戴玨 is a serious translator. I haven't found in his works major errors which could be easily spotted in others' works. His response to my question demonstrates that he has the line well thought out whether it is satisfactory to others or not. That said, I still feel there are a couple of small glitches.

但這移動的汐潮像是睡了，
滿得既無泡沫也無聲響，
此時那來自無垠深海的
又一次掉頭還鄉。

浑然流动的潮水似已睡去，
潮太满了．反而无声无息，
从无边的海洋里汲取的，
如今又复归去。

The two translations though both end with '的', somehow I feel the second easier to read. Anyone can explain why?

All I was trying to say is that translation is not an easy job, it is an art (any translated poems done in half an hour or an hour? Sorry, I just don't buy it. And there are people who are doing it just like that. Of course, 戴玨 is not one of them. ). From my personal experience, while the acquisition of background information and apprehension of related references helps understand a poem and build up one's confidence, when coming to the translation, sometimes it just doesn't seem to help much.

I know it's easier said than done, and I simply can't do it any better than the two posted here.

Let's move on, forward and upward.

[温暖的水獸]

[[温暖的水獸]]

[温暖的水獸]

[[温暖的水獸]]

[温暖的水獸]

[[温暖的水獸]]