酷我-北美枫

[Lake]

Reviving Garden

This garden that buds and thrives in spring and summer, and ripens in autumn, now stands still in the approaching winter wind. The water in the pond has lost its joyous voice; the stones, appearing lonely, lay cold and motionless; the various tall grasses, of which I can only name a few - silver feather, little bluestem and Indian grass, sway and bend with their last sighs. How many times I have come to visit you, seeing all the flowers in profusion, trees heavy laden with apples and berries. How I mesmerize myself with this picturesque landscape while imagining the whereabouts of the gardener when I see the empty chair and the round table in the nicely paved corner.

under the ground, hark –
sleeping seeds crack in rhythm
herald of new life

.

Revised Version

The Lost Garden

This garden that buds and thrives in spring and summer,
and ripens in autumn, now stands quiet in the piercing
winds. Shallow pond. No sound of water from jumping
frogs. In the gray skies, caws a storytelling of ravens.
A field of tall grasses, of which I can only name a few –
silver feather, little bluestem and purple moor, sway and
bend with their last sighs. A white rock, stripped of green
moss, juts out from the soil, cold and motionless. I look at
it; it stares back at me, without a word. How many times
I have come with delight, seeing all the flowers in profusion,
trees heavy-laden with apples and berries. How I mesmerize
myself with its landscape while imagining the whereabouts
of the gardener, whose chair, in this brick-paved corner,
remains empty. I wonder if the chair can draw me
closer to Basho. A bit hesitant, I walk over and sit down.

In stillness, listen:
a seed cracking in rhythms
underneath the ground

.

[[Lake]]

Reviving Garden

This garden that buds and thrives in spring and summer, and ripens in autumn, now stands still in the approaching winter wind. The water in the pond has lost its joyous voice; the stones, appearing lonely, lay cold and motionless; the various tall grasses, of which I can only name a few - silver feather, little bluestem and Indian grass, sway and bend with their last sighs. How many times I have come to visit you, seeing all the flowers in profusion, trees heavy laden with apples and berries. How I mesmerize myself with this picturesque landscape while imagining the whereabouts of the gardener when I see the empty chair and the round table in the nicely paved corner.

under the ground, hark –
sleeping seeds crack in rhythm
herald of new life

.

Revised Version

The Lost Garden

This garden that buds and thrives in spring and summer,
and ripens in autumn, now stands quiet in the piercing
winds. Shallow pond. No sound of water from jumping
frogs. In the gray skies, caws a storytelling of ravens.
A field of tall grasses, of which I can only name a few –
silver feather, little bluestem and purple moor, sway and
bend with their last sighs. A white rock, stripped of green
moss, juts out from the soil, cold and motionless. I look at
it; it stares back at me, without a word. How many times
I have come with delight, seeing all the flowers in profusion,
trees heavy-laden with apples and berries. How I mesmerize
myself with its landscape while imagining the whereabouts
of the gardener, whose chair, in this brick-paved corner,
remains empty. I wonder if the chair can draw me
closer to Basho. A bit hesitant, I walk over and sit down.

In stillness, listen:
a seed cracking in rhythms
underneath the ground

.

[ericcoliu]

The embedded haiku hints at the gist of the “picturesque landscape” of the reviving garden that “buds and thrives in spring and summer, and ripens in autumn.” All the reader needs is to “hark” to “imagine” it and then to “see” it: reviving-garden-to-be.

Following your line of thinking and literary tradition of haibun, I guess the most relevant response to your Reviving Garden is Basho’ often-quoted haiku:

When I look carefully
I see the nazuna blooming
By the hedge.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

[[ericcoliu]]

The embedded haiku hints at the gist of the “picturesque landscape” of the reviving garden that “buds and thrives in spring and summer, and ripens in autumn.” All the reader needs is to “hark” to “imagine” it and then to “see” it: reviving-garden-to-be.

Following your line of thinking and literary tradition of haibun, I guess the most relevant response to your Reviving Garden is Basho’ often-quoted haiku:

When I look carefully
I see the nazuna blooming
By the hedge.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

[Lake]

Thanks Eric. You read me well and I enjoy reading Basho's haiku very much.

This is just a quick write after the lunch break when I returned from my regular walk from the horticultural garden. Not well polished yet, just a moment of thought.

Thanks for your read into it and nice comment.

[[Lake]]

Thanks Eric. You read me well and I enjoy reading Basho's haiku very much.

This is just a quick write after the lunch break when I returned from my regular walk from the horticultural garden. Not well polished yet, just a moment of thought.

Thanks for your read into it and nice comment.

[Champagne]

[[Champagne]]

[Lake]

[[Lake]]

[ericcoliu]

[[ericcoliu]]

[Lake]

[[Lake]]

[ericcoliu]

[[ericcoliu]]

[星子]

I just read Haibun... Interesting


Thank Lake.
_________________

[[ANNA]]

I just read Haibun... Interesting


Thank Lake.
_________________

[Champagne]

Hi! Lake:

Although the embedded haiku in the revised version is more subtle than that in the original one, in my view, the main theme expressed in these two versions of your Haibun is similar. Why did you rename the previous one to the new title, The Lost Garden, which is opposite, at least in the linguistic sense, to the original title, Reviving Garden?
_________________
I'm Champagne,
Bottled poetry with sparkling joy.

[[Champagne]]

Hi! Lake:

Although the embedded haiku in the revised version is more subtle than that in the original one, in my view, the main theme expressed in these two versions of your Haibun is similar. Why did you rename the previous one to the new title, The Lost Garden, which is opposite, at least in the linguistic sense, to the original title, Reviving Garden?
_________________
I'm Champagne,
Bottled poetry with sparkling joy.

[Lake]

[[Lake]]

[Lake]

Thanks for your read, 星子.

Sometimes, I find it fun to play with different poetry forms.

[[Lake]]

Thanks for your read, 星子.

Sometimes, I find it fun to play with different poetry forms.

[Lake]

[[Lake]]

[Champagne]

[[Champagne]]

[fanfan]

[[FAFAFA]]