酷我-北美枫

Lake · 发表于: 星期五一月 09, 2009 10:25 am 发表主题: Moontarn - Barrie

Moontarn
Barrie

cherry
dips its lip of
blossom
into
the moon

whispers ripple
through
the silver night

山湖月色
- In memory of Barrie

樱花
唇瓣
浸
入
月中

轻语涟漪
弥漫
银色夜空

I had this poem translated a while ago, but never had had the nerve to show it because I thought my translation was not comparable to Barrie's original. Now that he's gone, not even had a chance to read it.

In recent months he has built quite a portfolio of musings on death, all are marked with his usual Barrie-esque characteristics – humor, sarcasm, shrewdness, and poetic craft…

This is the last one he wrote on Dec. 29, 2008

A Meeting with the Almighty

I'll see you
tomorrow,
I said.

I'll be there,
but you won't,
came the retort.

What makes you say that?

I know everything,
I made it so.

If you're saying it's all preordained,
then I'll prove you wrong.

I knew you'd say that,
so I moved you forward
by a day.
You never showed up.

How do you know,
you've been here all the time.

I'm omnipresent and omniscient.

You're a cheat.

Just omnipotent.

Do you exist, then?

Why,
asked God,
do you need proof?

Now when I came back to read it again,

I knew you'd say that,
so I moved you forward
by a day.
You never showed up.

I can't help asking "Why did you argue with God, Barrie." It is so ominous. Crying or Very sad

ericcoliu · 发表于: 星期五一月 09, 2009 5:57 pm 发表主题:

Riveting imagery of a cherry branch dipping into the moon's reflection in the still waters

The Chinese title resonates with the mood of the poem. Excellent.

Lake, My condolences to you on your loss of a beloved friend.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

anna · Site Admin 注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141

Hi Lake,

Sorry to hear that.

Take care.

Anna
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

浴恩福 · 发表于: 星期六一月 10, 2009 4:29 pm 发表主题: Re: Moontarn - Barrie

Lake, my condolences to you on your loss.

川生 · 发表于: 星期一一月 12, 2009 2:11 pm 发表主题:

I like the Chinese translation immensely, especially the concluding stanza.

Lake, my condolences for your loss.
_________________
Lines go off in all directions.

Lake · 发表于: 星期日一月 18, 2009 9:47 pm 发表主题:

Thanks eric, anna, 浴恩福 and 川生 for your sympathy.

Lake · 发表于: 星期日一月 18, 2009 10:36 pm 发表主题:

Drinking with Li Po
- for Barrie

For nine and fifty years
you’ve rowed on Moontarn
like a fool, hair whitened
with reed catkins, teasing
the formless omnipresent
the nonexistent omniscient
and singing to Aphrodite
Now you jump into the water
to catch the moon –
what splashing!

Lake · 发表于: 星期一一月 19, 2009 4:40 pm 发表主题:

Barrie also wrote good haiku, with ease. Here are my five dedicated to him.

our last summer
fades into fluffy snow -
butterflies in dreams

cold dawn
candle’s blown off -
unfinished lines…

moonless night
a lone tarn gently rocks
a tired boat

a robin sings
with a coarse voice -
silent cherry blossoms

foggy sunshine
how beautiful
blooming camellia!