酷我-北美枫

[clair]

_________________
This dark
Ceiling without a star

[[clair]]

_________________
This dark
Ceiling without a star

[东西]

[[东西]]

[ericcoliu]

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Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

[[ericcoliu]]

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Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

[Lake]

clair,

I'm thinking about the images you used in the poem - stones thrown into the lake then the water ripples. This leads me to change "reappearing" to "ringing".

[[Lake]]

clair,

I'm thinking about the images you used in the poem - stones thrown into the lake then the water ripples. This leads me to change "reappearing" to "ringing".

[fanfan]

I agree with Lake. Your poem takes the reader directly to the haiku-like moment.

And "ringing" is better than "reappearing."
_________________
Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon.

[[FAFAFA]]

I agree with Lake. Your poem takes the reader directly to the haiku-like moment.

And "ringing" is better than "reappearing."
_________________
Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon.

[ericcoliu]

I agree with Lake and fanfan.

Below is my reply:

I sit alone
By the lake of mind
I see your face
Beneath the water
We never get tired
Of gazing at each other
I call out to you
Silently comes an echo
I dedicate these moments
To you alone, for you
I groom myself

-- A Confucian Confusion
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

[[ericcoliu]]

I agree with Lake and fanfan.

Below is my reply:

I sit alone
By the lake of mind
I see your face
Beneath the water
We never get tired
Of gazing at each other
I call out to you
Silently comes an echo
I dedicate these moments
To you alone, for you
I groom myself

-- A Confucian Confusion
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

[clair]

Thank all of you for your insightful comments.

Special thanks to Lake for the helpful suggestion and to ericcoliu for his poetic response. I've revised my haiku accordingly.
_________________
This dark
Ceiling without a star

[[clair]]

Thank all of you for your insightful comments.

Special thanks to Lake for the helpful suggestion and to ericcoliu for his poetic response. I've revised my haiku accordingly.
_________________
This dark
Ceiling without a star

[fanfan]

[[FFFFFF]]

[clair]

Thanks for the read and your helpful suggestion.

I've revised my poem accordingly.
_________________
This dark
Ceiling without a star

[[clair]]

Thanks for the read and your helpful suggestion.

I've revised my poem accordingly.
_________________
This dark
Ceiling without a star