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christine[christine] christine作品集 四品府丞 (封疆大吏也!)
注册时间: 2008-02-25 帖子: 304
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发表于: 星期四 十月 30, 2008 9:37 am 发表主题: Seeking the Recluse (revised) |
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尋隱者不遇 賈島
松下問童子
言師採藥去
只在此山中
雲深不知處
English Translation: Seeking the Recluse but Not Meeting by Jia Dao
Under a pine
I asked the little boy;
he said, “My Master’s gone
to pick herbs.
I only know
he’s in this mountain somewhere,
but the clouds are so deep,
and I don't know where.”
最后进行编辑的是 christine on 星期四 十一月 06, 2008 10:06 am, 总计第 2 次编辑 |
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fanfan[FFFFFF] fanfan作品集 四品府丞 (封疆大吏也!)
注册时间: 2007-12-27 帖子: 353 来自: Canada
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发表于: 星期四 十月 30, 2008 11:06 am 发表主题: Re: Seeking the Recluse but Not Meeting |
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christine 写到: |
尋隱者不遇 賈島
English Translation: Seeking the Recluse but Not Meeting by Jia Dao
but the clouds are so deep
to know where.” |
too deep?
I don't think it's a good idea to adopt a literal English translation of the Chinese title of the poem.
My take would be:
Seeking the Master ( or Recluse) _________________ Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon. |
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu] ericcoliu作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2007-05-29 帖子: 1393 来自: GTA, Canada
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发表于: 星期四 十月 30, 2008 5:02 pm 发表主题: Re: Seeking the Recluse but Not Meeting |
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christine 写到: |
只在此山中
雲深不知處
I only know
He’s on this mountain,
but the clouds are so deep
to know where.” |
My suggestion is as follows:
I only know
he’s in this mountain somewhere,
but the clouds are so deep,
and I don't know where.” _________________ Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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东西[东西] 东西作品集 八品县丞 (又一个不小心,升了!)
注册时间: 2008-06-07 帖子: 53 来自: East_West
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发表于: 星期六 十一月 01, 2008 11:32 am 发表主题: Re: Seeking the Recluse but Not Meeting |
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fanfan 写到: |
I don't think it's a good idea to adopt a literal English translation of the Chinese title of the poem.
My take would be:
Seeking the Master ( or Recluse) |
In my view, Seeking the Recluse would be fine, which fits the main theme of the poem. _________________ East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet. |
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Lake[Lake] Lake作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2006-10-10 帖子: 1341 来自: Sky Blue Water
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发表于: 星期六 十一月 01, 2008 9:02 pm 发表主题: |
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christine,
I like your structure which is agile, not rigid. But I agree with Eric's last line "I don't know where.” Yes, put "I" there.
Lake |
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christine[christine] christine作品集 四品府丞 (封疆大吏也!)
注册时间: 2008-02-25 帖子: 304
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发表于: 星期日 十一月 02, 2008 1:20 pm 发表主题: Re: Seeking the Recluse but Not Meeting |
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东西 写到: |
fanfan 写到: |
I don't think it's a good idea to adopt a literal English translation of the Chinese title of the poem.
My take would be:
Seeking the Master ( or Recluse) |
In my view, Seeking the Recluse would be fine, which fits the main theme of the poem. |
Yes. Thanks for your helpful suggestion. |
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christine[christine] christine作品集 四品府丞 (封疆大吏也!)
注册时间: 2008-02-25 帖子: 304
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发表于: 星期日 十一月 02, 2008 1:22 pm 发表主题: |
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ericcoliu 写到: |
christine 写到: |
只在此山中
雲深不知處
I only know
He’s on this mountain,
but the clouds are so deep
to know where.” |
My suggestion is as follows:
I only know
he’s in this mountain somewhere,
but the clouds are so deep,
and I don't know where.” |
Lake 写到: |
christine,
I like your structure which is agile, not rigid. But I agree with Eric's last line "I don't know where.” Yes, put "I" there.
Lake |
Hi! Eric and Lake:
Thanks for your close reading and helpful suggestions. I'll think them over and revise my translation later. |
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christine[christine] christine作品集 四品府丞 (封疆大吏也!)
注册时间: 2008-02-25 帖子: 304
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发表于: 星期四 十一月 06, 2008 10:05 am 发表主题: |
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Lake 写到: |
I like your structure which is agile, not rigid. But I agree with Eric's last line "I don't know where.” Yes, put "I" there.
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Thank both of you for your helpful suggestions, upon which my revision is based. |
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christine[christine] christine作品集 四品府丞 (封疆大吏也!)
注册时间: 2008-02-25 帖子: 304
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