酷我-北美枫

hahaview

My Confession co-authored with ericcoliu

There is a time for anything, and everything is under His watch:
times when I am indifferent to God's existence,
times when I am questioned about God's existence,
times when I interrogate God's existence,
times when I believe in God's existence,
times when I pray to God,
times when I ache for God,
times when I cast doubt on God,
times when I have anger toward God.

There are times when I call out to God in the dark,
but no one seems to be there.
Will he be here, standing by me?
I don’t know. Is there a God?
_________________
I came, I saw, and I conquered

ericcoliu · 发表于: 星期三十月 15, 2008 7:32 pm 发表主题:

A confessional poem well positioned in the biblical poetic tradition and ending with a poignant line which challenges the foundation of its tradition.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

Lake · 发表于: 星期三十月 15, 2008 8:09 pm 发表主题:

I have to admit religion doesn't float my boat, so I can't put my fingers on the writings with such subjects. One thing I did though is when I read it, I skipped the first part of each line in S1 and concentrated on the second part of the lines. Don't know if it is a right thing to do.

hahaview · 发表于: 星期四十月 16, 2008 10:57 am 发表主题:

ericcoliu · 发表于: 星期四十月 16, 2008 1:01 pm 发表主题:

My take is:

There is a time for anything, and everything is under His watch:
a time when I am indifferent to God's existence,
a time when I am questioned about God's existence,
a time when I interrogate God's existence,
a time when I believe in God's existence,
a time when I pray to God,
a time when I ache for God,
a time when I cast doubt on God,
a time when I have anger toward God.

There is a time when I call out to God in the dark,
but no one seems to be there.
Will he be here, standing by me?
I don’t know. Is there a God?
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

Lake · 发表于: 星期四十月 16, 2008 3:21 pm 发表主题:

Hi haha,

This is just my personal view. The repetition might have a different effect when it's read, chanted, with the change of tones, expressions, etc. But when it is presented on paper, it looks monotonous.

Eric did some paring down, I think it can go even further if you want it taut.

Yours

fanfan · 发表于: 星期四十月 16, 2008 6:45 pm 发表主题:

Eric's rewrite is more in line with the biblical poetic tradition while that of Lake is tauter and more poetic.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

-- Ecclesiastes, Chapter 3:1-8
_________________
Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon.

川生 · 发表于: 星期五十月 17, 2008 8:13 am 发表主题:

hahaview · 发表于: 星期六十月 18, 2008 7:58 am 发表主题:

hahaview · 发表于: 星期六十月 18, 2008 7:59 am 发表主题:

ericcoliu · 发表于: 星期三十月 22, 2008 4:47 pm 发表主题: Re: My Confession

ericcoliu · 发表于: 星期三十月 22, 2008 4:48 pm 发表主题: Re: My Confession

The Confession of a Poetis a tribute poem to and whispered by the late Italian film director and poet Pier Paolo Pasolini.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

hahaview · 发表于: 星期一十月 27, 2008 3:46 pm 发表主题:

I've revised my piece. Thank you all for reading and commenting.
_________________
I came, I saw, and I conquered