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Sevenling (After Lake)

 
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集

二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada

帖子发表于: 星期二 九月 16, 2008 9:48 am    发表主题: Sevenling (After Lake) 引用并回复

Reading and writing: Life on the Page


Sevenling (After Lake)


Unattented lawn.
A sullen man standing behind a makeshift counter.
Kids chasing after each other.

Brand new flat TVs, Nintendo video games, and Dell computers ...
Piles of rain-soaked This Old House magazines.
An exhausted woman amidst the haggling crowd.

In certain rituals we desire only what we cannot have.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul


最后进行编辑的是 ericcoliu on 星期五 十二月 26, 2008 3:42 pm, 总计第 5 次编辑
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Lake[Lake]
Lake作品集

二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2006-10-10
帖子: 1341
来自: Sky Blue Water

帖子发表于: 星期二 九月 16, 2008 10:28 am    发表主题: 引用并回复

In such a short poem, I don't have much to add on.

This shows a picture of a society with extravagant, excessive commodities - a sharp contrast to the areas where three meals a day is not a guarantee.

"makesfiht", spelling?

In certain rituals, the word 'rituals' has a religious tint, I feel.

Nice one.
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集

二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada

帖子发表于: 星期二 九月 16, 2008 10:28 am    发表主题: 引用并回复

This Old House, the companion magazine to a PBS home improvement and remodelling television show of the same title, "focuses on appreciation of craftsmanship and fine design, with the idea that the best value is derived from informed planning and the usage of premium materials and workmanship. Detailed information and photography provide an understanding of the equipment, materials and techniques needed to renovate a home, as well as how to communicate more effectively with architects, contractors, craftsmen, and designers." -- From product descriptions.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul
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christine[christine]
christine作品集

四品府丞
(封疆大吏也!)
四品府丞<BR>(封疆大吏也!)


注册时间: 2008-02-25
帖子: 304

帖子发表于: 星期二 九月 16, 2008 7:05 pm    发表主题: Re: Sevenling (After Lake) 引用并回复

ericcoliu 写到:


Brand new flat TV, Nintendo video games, and Dell computers.
Piles of rain-soaked This Old House magazines.
An exhausted woman amidst the haggling crowd.


Are these for sale?

My suggestion is as follows:

Brand new flat TV, Nintendo video games, and Dell computers ...

It's because this once was a middle-class family "with extravagant, excessive commodities," as Lake suggests in his/her reply.
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Lake[Lake]
Lake作品集

二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2006-10-10
帖子: 1341
来自: Sky Blue Water

帖子发表于: 星期二 九月 16, 2008 7:36 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

Came back to read it again. Kind of suspicious about Brand new flat TV, it couldn't be a normal yard sale. A big moving sale?
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集

二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada

帖子发表于: 星期二 九月 16, 2008 11:55 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

[quote="Lake"]

In such a short poem, I don't have much to add on.

This shows a picture of a society with extravagant, excessive commodities - a sharp contrast to the areas where three meals a day is not a guarantee.

"makesfiht", spelling?

In certain rituals, the word 'rituals' has a religious tint, I feel.


Came back to read it again. Kind of suspicious about Brand new flat TV, it couldn't be a normal yard sale. A big moving sale?[/quote]


Yes.

Thank you for your attentive reading and sharing your thought.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul


最后进行编辑的是 ericcoliu on 星期二 九月 16, 2008 11:59 pm, 总计第 3 次编辑
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集

二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada

帖子发表于: 星期二 九月 16, 2008 11:56 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

Christine 写到:


ericcoliu 写到:


Brand new flat TV, Nintendo video games, and Dell computers.
Piles of rain-soaked This Old House magazines.
An exhausted woman amidst the haggling crowd.


Are these for sale?

My suggestion is as follows:

Brand new flat TV, Nintendo video games, and Dell computers ...

It's because this once was a middle-class family "with extravagant, excessive commodities," as Lake suggests in his/her reply.


I don't think anyone will buy these piles of "rain-soaked American dreams."

Thanks for your suggestion. I've revised my piece.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul
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fanfan[FFFFFF]
fanfan作品集

四品府丞
(封疆大吏也!)
四品府丞<BR>(封疆大吏也!)


注册时间: 2007-12-27
帖子: 353
来自: Canada

帖子发表于: 星期三 九月 17, 2008 4:36 pm    发表主题: Re: Sevenling (After Lake) 引用并回复

ericcoliu 写到:


Reading, writing, and Life on the Page


Sevenling (After Lake)


Scrub lawn.
A sullen man standing behind the makeshift counter.
Kids chasing after each other.

Brand new flat TV, Nintendo video games, and Dell computers ...
Piles of rain-soaked This Old House magazines.
An exhausted woman amidst the haggling crowd.

In certain rituals we desire only what we cannot have.


A forewarning that "the haggling crowd" desire only what they cannot have?
_________________
Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon.
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浴恩福[浴恩福]
浴恩福作品集

六品通判
(官儿做大了,保持廉洁哦)
六品通判<BR>(官儿做大了,保持廉洁哦)


注册时间: 2008-05-08
帖子: 123
来自: 多倫多

帖子发表于: 星期四 九月 18, 2008 1:50 pm    发表主题: Re: Sevenling (After Lake) 引用并回复

ericcoliu 写到:


Sevenling (After Lake)


Scrub lawn.
A sullen man standing behind the makeshift counter.
Kids chasing after each other.

Brand new flat TV, Nintendo video games, and Dell computers ...
Piles of rain-soaked This Old House magazines.

An exhausted woman amidst the haggling crowd.

In certain rituals we desire only what we cannot have.


Contrasting images!

fanfan 写到:


An exhausted woman amidst the haggling crowd.

In certain rituals we desire only what we cannot have.


A forewarning that "the haggling crowd" desire only what they cannot have?[/quote]

Yes.

They think they have the bargaining power to bid on everything that is exposed before their eyes.
_________________
報三恩、耕三大福田
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集

二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada

帖子发表于: 星期五 九月 19, 2008 7:22 am    发表主题: Re: Sevenling (After Lake) 引用并回复

浴恩福 写到:
ericcoliu 写到:


Sevenling (After Lake)


Scrub lawn.
A sullen man standing behind the makeshift counter.
Kids chasing after each other.

Brand new flat TV, Nintendo video games, and Dell computers ...
Piles of rain-soaked This Old House magazines.

An exhausted woman amidst the haggling crowd.

In certain rituals we desire only what we cannot have.


Contrasting images!

fanfan 写到:


An exhausted woman amidst the haggling crowd.

In certain rituals we desire only what we cannot have.


A forewarning that "the haggling crowd" desire only what they cannot have?


Yes.

They think they have the bargaining power to bid on everything that is exposed before their eyes.[/quote]

Yes, thank you for your close reading and discerning comment.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul
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dundas[dundas]
dundas作品集

五品知州
(再努力一把就是四品大员了!)
五品知州<BR>(再努力一把就是四品大员了!)


注册时间: 2008-02-23
帖子: 214

帖子发表于: 星期六 九月 20, 2008 1:46 pm    发表主题: Re: Sevenling (After Lake) 引用并回复

ericcoliu 写到:



Scrub lawn.
A sullen man standing behind the makeshift counter.
Kids chasing after each other.

Brand new flat TV, Nintendo video games, and Dell computers ...
Piles of rain-soaked This Old House magazines.An exhausted woman amidst the haggling crowd.

In certain rituals we desire only what we cannot have.

_________________
My throat knew thirst before the structure
Of skin and vein around the well
返回页首
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dundas[dundas]
dundas作品集

五品知州
(再努力一把就是四品大员了!)
五品知州<BR>(再努力一把就是四品大员了!)


注册时间: 2008-02-23
帖子: 214

帖子发表于: 星期六 九月 20, 2008 1:47 pm    发表主题: Re: Sevenling (After Lake) 引用并回复

ericcoliu 写到:



Scrub lawn.
A sullen man standing behind the makeshift counter.
Kids chasing after each other.

Brand new flat TV, Nintendo video games, and Dell computers ...
Piles of rain-soaked This Old House magazines.An exhausted woman amidst the haggling crowd.

In certain rituals we desire only what we cannot have.

_________________
My throat knew thirst before the structure
Of skin and vein around the well
返回页首
阅览成员资料 (Profile) 发送私人留言 (PM)
dundas[dundas]
dundas作品集

五品知州
(再努力一把就是四品大员了!)
五品知州<BR>(再努力一把就是四品大员了!)


注册时间: 2008-02-23
帖子: 214

帖子发表于: 星期六 九月 20, 2008 1:49 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

ericcoliu 写到:

Piles of rain-soaked This Old House magazines.
An exhausted woman amidst the haggling crowd
.


This Old House, the companion magazine to a PBS home improvement and remodelling television show of the same title, "focuses on appreciation of craftsmanship and fine design, with the idea that the best value is derived from informed planning and the usage of premium materials and workmanship. Detailed information and photography provide an understanding of the equipment, materials and techniques needed to renovate a home, as well as how to communicate more effectively with architects, contractors, craftsmen, and designers." -- From product descriptions.


I like this ironically contrasting imagery.
_________________
My throat knew thirst before the structure
Of skin and vein around the well
返回页首
阅览成员资料 (Profile) 发送私人留言 (PM)
ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集

二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada

帖子发表于: 星期六 九月 20, 2008 4:20 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

dundas 写到:



I like this ironically contrasting imagery.


Thank you for bringing your discerning eye along with your sharp mind.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul
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