酷我-北美枫

[anna]

by John .B. Lee

Here are the bare facts of morning:
this blue, this yellow, this white,
this motley intervention of builded colours
squatting on the foreground
as if to sniff the path of vision
from the minded world.
Far from the garden
we are born,
but the smell of earth
might stiffen our resolve
to live within the flesh awhile.

Accept the heart's unweeded stone
dance within its shadow
like a flame.

Accept the mind is such a muscle
to go flexing in the dark
like wingless beetles in a high dish.

Accept this egginess of light
that sticks to the world
and makes its shapes involve us
like breath across an open wound.

This poem published in "The half-way Tree" by Black Moss Press,
2007

John .B. Lee: Poet Laureate of Brantford in perpetuity
Twice Winner of The People's Poetry Award;
Twice recipient of the Canadian Literary Award (CBC Radio);
Twice Winner of the Eric Hill Award of Excellence in Poetry (2004 and 2005); and
Recipient of over 60 prestigious international awards for poetry.


早晨赤裸的现实
(约翰 . 比. 李 诗)
星子译

这些是早晨赤裸的现实:
这蓝,这黄,这白,
這建构颜色的杂合介入
蹲伏在前,
就象要从意识的世界里
吸附视觉的路径.
在遥远的花园,
我们降生,
但泥土的味道
或能僵硬我们的决心
存活在这团血肉里片刻.

承受心如无杂草的石头,
它舞在自己的影子里,
就象火焰一样.

承受思想就象肌肉一样
在黑暗中伸缩,
像高盘子中的无翼甲虫。

承受这蛋卵,光亮
粘贴着这个世界,
并且在它生成的轮廓中围住我们,
就象呼吸穿过一道倘开的伤口.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

by John .B. Lee

Here are the bare facts of morning:
this blue, this yellow, this white,
this motley intervention of builded colours
squatting on the foreground
as if to sniff the path of vision
from the minded world.
Far from the garden
we are born,
but the smell of earth
might stiffen our resolve
to live within the flesh awhile.

Accept the heart's unweeded stone
dance within its shadow
like a flame.

Accept the mind is such a muscle
to go flexing in the dark
like wingless beetles in a high dish.

Accept this egginess of light
that sticks to the world
and makes its shapes involve us
like breath across an open wound.

This poem published in "The half-way Tree" by Black Moss Press,
2007

John .B. Lee: Poet Laureate of Brantford in perpetuity
Twice Winner of The People's Poetry Award;
Twice recipient of the Canadian Literary Award (CBC Radio);
Twice Winner of the Eric Hill Award of Excellence in Poetry (2004 and 2005); and
Recipient of over 60 prestigious international awards for poetry.


早晨赤裸的现实
(约翰 . 比. 李 诗)
星子译

这些是早晨赤裸的现实:
这蓝,这黄,这白,
這建构颜色的杂合介入
蹲伏在前,
就象要从意识的世界里
吸附视觉的路径.
在遥远的花园,
我们降生,
但泥土的味道
或能僵硬我们的决心
存活在这团血肉里片刻.

承受心如无杂草的石头,
它舞在自己的影子里,
就象火焰一样.

承受思想就象肌肉一样
在黑暗中伸缩,
像高盘子中的无翼甲虫。

承受这蛋卵,光亮
粘贴着这个世界,
并且在它生成的轮廓中围住我们,
就象呼吸穿过一道倘开的伤口.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[anna]

I called John .B. Lee today and he was glad to give his permission to translate this poem. And I also asked the lines which I was not sure, he would send email to explain them.

Thanks for John .B. Lee 's support.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

I called John .B. Lee today and he was glad to give his permission to translate this poem. And I also asked the lines which I was not sure, he would send email to explain them.

Thanks for John .B. Lee 's support.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[星子]

My God! Lesson to learn!

When I tried to translate John .B. Lee's poem "The Bare facts of Morning", I had a few lines stumbled.
So I discussed them with Ram who teaches in College. He read it a few times, then began his explanation.
He dramatically interpreted the poem and repeated the most easy part. I pointed the line which really puzzled me.

"Accept the mind is such a muscle
to go flexing in the dark
like wingless beetles in a high dish."

I asked why the beetle is wingless, what did they imply? why are they in high dish.

Alas, he asked if we eat wingless beetles. I said some Chinese may do, but the poet is not Chinese.
I didn't think here he mentioned to eat them. Ram replied to me, " high dish is tasty dish."

I said I was really confused, I would ask the poet himself.

Now I am glad I did it. Here is John .B. Lee's answers to my two questions:

1. Why do you write it? What is the background of it?

the poem appeared originally in my book, Variations on Herb, a verse
biography of my paternal grandfather Herb Lee. The poem amounts to
something of an invocation of the muses. In it I express the desire for a
pure view of the external world without the corruption or contamination of
the transformative spoliation of the mind.


2. The line: "Like wingless beetles in a high dish", what do you mean?

the beetles are wingless and therefore they cannot fly beyond the rim.
They must crawl. And their perceptions are limited to the circle of the
bowl. This is their entire horizon. unless they escape.

Now I know how people read poems so differently and sometimes so wrong!

I am glad most of my translations are confirmed with the poets. When I have doubt, I always tried to ask them to explain to me,
In this way I hope I don't mislead the readers by my translation.
I wonder why people don't show their courage to admit that they don't understand what they read.
I don't know if I should told Ram the poet's reply or not.
_________________

[[ANNA]]

My God! Lesson to learn!

When I tried to translate John .B. Lee's poem "The Bare facts of Morning", I had a few lines stumbled.
So I discussed them with Ram who teaches in College. He read it a few times, then began his explanation.
He dramatically interpreted the poem and repeated the most easy part. I pointed the line which really puzzled me.

"Accept the mind is such a muscle
to go flexing in the dark
like wingless beetles in a high dish."

I asked why the beetle is wingless, what did they imply? why are they in high dish.

Alas, he asked if we eat wingless beetles. I said some Chinese may do, but the poet is not Chinese.
I didn't think here he mentioned to eat them. Ram replied to me, " high dish is tasty dish."

I said I was really confused, I would ask the poet himself.

Now I am glad I did it. Here is John .B. Lee's answers to my two questions:

1. Why do you write it? What is the background of it?

the poem appeared originally in my book, Variations on Herb, a verse
biography of my paternal grandfather Herb Lee. The poem amounts to
something of an invocation of the muses. In it I express the desire for a
pure view of the external world without the corruption or contamination of
the transformative spoliation of the mind.


2. The line: "Like wingless beetles in a high dish", what do you mean?

the beetles are wingless and therefore they cannot fly beyond the rim.
They must crawl. And their perceptions are limited to the circle of the
bowl. This is their entire horizon. unless they escape.

Now I know how people read poems so differently and sometimes so wrong!

I am glad most of my translations are confirmed with the poets. When I have doubt, I always tried to ask them to explain to me,
In this way I hope I don't mislead the readers by my translation.
I wonder why people don't show their courage to admit that they don't understand what they read.
I don't know if I should told Ram the poet's reply or not.
_________________

[christine]

[[christine]]

[anna]

这非自然色介入的杂色 (改了一下?)
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

这非自然色介入的杂色 (改了一下?)
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[dundas]

[[dundas]]

[anna]

Hi Dundas,

changed to 或能僵硬我们的决心
存活在这团血肉里片刻.

Better now? Please let me know, thanks.

awhile means 'for a time' and a while means 'a period of time'
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

Hi Dundas,

changed to 或能僵硬我们的决心
存活在这团血肉里片刻.

Better now? Please let me know, thanks.

awhile means 'for a time' and a while means 'a period of time'
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[戴玨]

[[Edgar]]

[星子]

As a reader, I agree with you, Edgar.

But when I tried to translate the poem, I would like to be more like the person who wrote it.

As I said in the above post, if the line I could not understand, or if I read it as Ram read and translate it like a tasty dish. What a misleading!

就像高盤子中的無翼甲蟲。 better. Since it leaves room for imagination.

When I accepted to translate a poem, I also wanted to make sure I understand it. That is why I always contact the poet who wrote it. For me, I like this way since I believe it is a good learning process.
_________________

[[ANNA]]

As a reader, I agree with you, Edgar.

But when I tried to translate the poem, I would like to be more like the person who wrote it.

As I said in the above post, if the line I could not understand, or if I read it as Ram read and translate it like a tasty dish. What a misleading!

就像高盤子中的無翼甲蟲。 better. Since it leaves room for imagination.

When I accepted to translate a poem, I also wanted to make sure I understand it. That is why I always contact the poet who wrote it. For me, I like this way since I believe it is a good learning process.
_________________

[ericcoliu]

[[ericcoliu]]

[星子]

[[ANNA]]

[ericcoliu]

[[ericcoliu]]

[anna]

看来翻译真应该细细推敲,琢磨. 我自己写诗很多凭感觉.读诗也是一样. 翻译有时更喜欢意译.而不是逐字翻译.

"The Half-Way Tree"200页 有100多首,我通读了一遍,选了这首. 也是凭感觉.

还有一首原打算试试翻译,不过感觉很难...

现贴出: 看谁愿意试一下?

Darling, Where Were You Besides Here

When you feel the human heat
of sitting close in a car
and the mild narcotic of the road
miles you into sleep
and your head rolls against a shoulder
and the light fills up your little space
briefly, then goes out, lonely
like lampfire in the wind
and you dream of breathing
while the radio Beatles you
back and forth in time
so you can't believe
how your father finds it way
without maps
through the three tricks turns he must take
coming home from your grandmother's house
and you wake to the feel
of the night
in the arms of your wife
who strokes your head
and says,
"Darling, where were you
besides here?"

----from "The Half-Way Tree" by John .B. Lee (2007 Black Moss Press)
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

看来翻译真应该细细推敲,琢磨. 我自己写诗很多凭感觉.读诗也是一样. 翻译有时更喜欢意译.而不是逐字翻译.

"The Half-Way Tree"200页 有100多首,我通读了一遍,选了这首. 也是凭感觉.

还有一首原打算试试翻译,不过感觉很难...

现贴出: 看谁愿意试一下?

Darling, Where Were You Besides Here

When you feel the human heat
of sitting close in a car
and the mild narcotic of the road
miles you into sleep
and your head rolls against a shoulder
and the light fills up your little space
briefly, then goes out, lonely
like lampfire in the wind
and you dream of breathing
while the radio Beatles you
back and forth in time
so you can't believe
how your father finds it way
without maps
through the three tricks turns he must take
coming home from your grandmother's house
and you wake to the feel
of the night
in the arms of your wife
who strokes your head
and says,
"Darling, where were you
besides here?"

----from "The Half-Way Tree" by John .B. Lee (2007 Black Moss Press)
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[Lake]

戴玨对翻译颇多感触，洋洋洒洒啊。其实翻译有时比自己写还费时间。
我还是倾向翻译应忠实原文，但绝不是简单的逐字翻译，如果可行的话，用翻译机好了。有人说，好的翻译，直译意译是分不开的。

anna, 我最近也在忙着一件事（译太极拳哪，真邪门 ），没时间静下心来搞文学翻译。

[[Lake]]

戴玨对翻译颇多感触，洋洋洒洒啊。其实翻译有时比自己写还费时间。
我还是倾向翻译应忠实原文，但绝不是简单的逐字翻译，如果可行的话，用翻译机好了。有人说，好的翻译，直译意译是分不开的。

anna, 我最近也在忙着一件事（译太极拳哪，真邪门 ），没时间静下心来搞文学翻译。

[星子]

Thanks All.

Hi Lake,

Interesting. You know we have a master of TaiJi who wants to teach us, but I find it very hard to learn. I simply cannot feel the Qi. Too bad.

From last year, I get myself focus and calm down to learn English. It is late but not too late.

I will make this a JPG and send to John.
_________________

[[ANNA]]

Thanks All.

Hi Lake,

Interesting. You know we have a master of TaiJi who wants to teach us, but I find it very hard to learn. I simply cannot feel the Qi. Too bad.

From last year, I get myself focus and calm down to learn English. It is late but not too late.

I will make this a JPG and send to John.
_________________