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Life on the Edge(2)

 
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anna[星子安娜]
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注册时间: 2004-05-02
帖子: 7141

帖子发表于: 星期四 十一月 15, 2007 3:12 pm    发表主题: Life on the Edge(2) 引用并回复

He came to the beach again, which he thought of as his own secret place.
It was a tiny sandy land, quiet and remote, hidden from the world by a rocky rill.
People seldom came here. A couple of seagulls rested on the dark reefs.
Often, he would sit motionless near the shore for a long time. The birds got used to him; they never bothered to fly away.
The cold feeling rose in his mind. To the birds, he was another silent rock. He exhaled in a long sigh.
A distant sunset shed its crimson light over the waves. Rocks turned brown. He knew it was time to go back. He took his last glance at the place, and knew tonight he would dream of her again.
Many times he pictured her in his arms: her body cuddled him, her quivering lips whispered and her shiny eyes blinked …He wanted to bend down to touch her soft body and kiss her…but just then all fancy disappeared, he woke to numb dark. Many times, he ended up sleepless.
"How is she now?" He wondered. His longing, like the wind whirl grasped him.
Pain pierced him like many sharp knives. He feared this time he had lost her forever. How he wished she could forgive him. How he wished to tell her the truth. But his pride, the stubborn pride prevented him. Lichen grew cold and bitter over him, he turned to the darkness.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com


最后进行编辑的是 anna on 星期五 十一月 16, 2007 12:22 am, 总计第 2 次编辑
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
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二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada

帖子发表于: 星期四 十一月 15, 2007 6:11 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

You're working on a series of numbered short stories! It’s ambitious and good for you.

The Edge of Life(2) is more poetic and deep into the emotional landscape of the protagonist.

Two suggestions:

1) You need to be more careful about the use of sentence punctuation.

2) I think Life on/at the Edge is more resonant with the issues expressed in your stories.

Good Luck with your project.
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Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul
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anna[星子安娜]
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帖子发表于: 星期五 十一月 16, 2007 12:13 am    发表主题: 引用并回复

Hi Eric,

I tried to write piece by piece, not sure eventually what it will be.

Thanks for support.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
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二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada

帖子发表于: 星期五 十一月 16, 2007 10:19 am    发表主题: 引用并回复

Maybe you can give a thought about turning your “project” into a transgeneric text in which narratives are hybrids. I truly believe this new approach will work well for you if you keep a firm grip on your main issues regarding "Life on the Edge".

One good example to illustrate this approach is Dionne Brand’s latest work on the issue of “Black Diaspora”. In her 2005 A Map to the Door of No Return, Brand blends fragments of travel narrative, autobiography, poetry, memory, history, newspaper clippings and intertextual references in what seems to be random fashion:


So far I’ve collected these fragments, like Ludolf – disparate, and sometimes only related by sound or intuition, vision or aesthetic. I have not visited the Door of No Return, but by relying on random shards of history and unwritten memoir of descendants of those who passed through it, including me, I am constructing a map of the region, paying attention to faces, to the unknowable, to unintended acts of returning, to impressions of doorways. Any act of recollection is important, even looks of dismay and discomfort. Any wisp of a dream is evidence. (Brand 19)

You have any question about this approach, feel free to call me.
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anna[星子安娜]
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帖子发表于: 星期五 十一月 16, 2007 10:33 am    发表主题: 引用并回复

Hi Eric,

This is also my homework.

ViewPoint writing----Seeing Through Your Character's Eyes

http://ezinearticles.com/?Viewpoint-Writing-1:-Seeing-Through-Your-Characters-Eyes&id=377281

http://www.thinkage.ca/~jim/prose/viewpoint.htm

I am not sure if I fulfill the task or not.

Anna
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com
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Lake[Lake]
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二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2006-10-10
帖子: 1341
来自: Sky Blue Water

帖子发表于: 星期六 十一月 17, 2007 11:01 am    发表主题: 引用并回复

Good exercise.

By the way, what is 'Lichen' in Lichen grew cold and bitter over him?
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帖子发表于: 星期二 十一月 20, 2007 1:25 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

Hi Lake,

What I mean lichen is like mask, cold and dark mask.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com
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