酷我-北美枫

[老婆婆]

It is said that
17-year-old days are the rainy season in one’s life
So I always wondered, wondered
In those childhood days
What my 17-year-old days would look like

That year, that month, that day
That boy who raised his princely head
Walked in the bright sunshine along the street
towards me, with his shiny smile and starry eyes
bringing his hello and our pure times

Just like the wind above the lake
Or the stream through the pebbles
He came into my life, engraved some unforgetable memories
And left me alone, him
Gone with the wind, gone with the stream

Those good old days, not so long ago
How I wonder where they have gone and why
And suddenly when I look back today
It makes me realize that
It was our 17-year-old days, the rainy season in my life
_________________
请大家多多指教，谢谢！

[[老婆婆]]

It is said that
17-year-old days are the rainy season in one’s life
So I always wondered, wondered
In those childhood days
What my 17-year-old days would look like

That year, that month, that day
That boy who raised his princely head
Walked in the bright sunshine along the street
towards me, with his shiny smile and starry eyes
bringing his hello and our pure times

Just like the wind above the lake
Or the stream through the pebbles
He came into my life, engraved some unforgetable memories
And left me alone, him
Gone with the wind, gone with the stream

Those good old days, not so long ago
How I wonder where they have gone and why
And suddenly when I look back today
It makes me realize that
It was our 17-year-old days, the rainy season in my life
_________________
请大家多多指教，谢谢！

[anna]

welcome...will read it later
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

welcome...will read it later
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[ericcoliu]

The popular saying “April showers bring May flowers” rings true in your poem.

Repetition of verb “wondered” in line three heightens its emotional impact.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

[[ericcoliu]]

The popular saying “April showers bring May flowers” rings true in your poem.

Repetition of verb “wondered” in line three heightens its emotional impact.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

[老婆婆]

Thank you for reading. And if you have some good suggestion, please tell me. I will appreacite it very much.
_________________
请大家多多指教，谢谢！

[[老婆婆]]

Thank you for reading. And if you have some good suggestion, please tell me. I will appreacite it very much.
_________________
请大家多多指教，谢谢！

[老婆婆]

ericcoliu:

"The popular saying “April showers bring May flowers” rings true in your poem. "


By the way, what is the “April showers bring May flowers”?
_________________
请大家多多指教，谢谢！

[[老婆婆]]

ericcoliu:

"The popular saying “April showers bring May flowers” rings true in your poem. "


By the way, what is the “April showers bring May flowers”?
_________________
请大家多多指教，谢谢！

[ericcoliu]

There are different interpretations about this springtime saying.

Generally speaking, April is a month known for rain, which is a crucial factor to bring out the flowers in May. Although oftentimes gloomy with menacing clouds hanging overhead, this rainy season is a time of rejuvenation for the ground, and it prepares the soil to be able to nourish the plant life that will soon come.

Likewise for those in "their rainy season", although at times sudden outbursts of tears and thunderous pangs of pain, if they weather their "emotional storms" well, they will bring out May flowers of their sunny memories while looking back on their lives.

By the way, in line 14, it's

"And leave me alone, him"

or

"And left me alone, him"
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

[[ericcoliu]]

There are different interpretations about this springtime saying.

Generally speaking, April is a month known for rain, which is a crucial factor to bring out the flowers in May. Although oftentimes gloomy with menacing clouds hanging overhead, this rainy season is a time of rejuvenation for the ground, and it prepares the soil to be able to nourish the plant life that will soon come.

Likewise for those in "their rainy season", although at times sudden outbursts of tears and thunderous pangs of pain, if they weather their "emotional storms" well, they will bring out May flowers of their sunny memories while looking back on their lives.

By the way, in line 14, it's

"And leave me alone, him"

or

"And left me alone, him"
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

[老婆婆]

ericcoliu:

Thank you very much. I am happy to know you and other friends. It's a beautiful saying. I love it.

When I wrote it I had considered 'left', but I thought until now he is still leaving me alone, so I wrote 'leave'. But now, I will correct it. 'left' seems more better. Thanks again.

By the way, do you know Chinese? It seems that you only write English articles and write very well.
_________________
请大家多多指教，谢谢！

[[老婆婆]]

ericcoliu:

Thank you very much. I am happy to know you and other friends. It's a beautiful saying. I love it.

When I wrote it I had considered 'left', but I thought until now he is still leaving me alone, so I wrote 'leave'. But now, I will correct it. 'left' seems more better. Thanks again.

By the way, do you know Chinese? It seems that you only write English articles and write very well.
_________________
请大家多多指教，谢谢！

[anna]

It is a nice and charming poem.

I like its chiming sound.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

It is a nice and charming poem.

I like its chiming sound.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[ericcoliu]

[[ericcoliu]]

[老婆婆]

Oh, I see.

I love English, but I love Chinese much more. Sometimes I will write some English articles and sent them to editors and my English articals were published, which made me want to write in English. But at last I determine to write in Chinese. In my view, Chinese is more beautiful and more difficult to write well. But I think my Chinese articles are better than English ones.

But at the same time, I will learn to write English articles. After all, literature is not limited to only one language. So you and other friends such as anna are my teachers.

You can see my Chinese article in other pages. So you can know me better.
_________________
请大家多多指教，谢谢！

[[老婆婆]]

Oh, I see.

I love English, but I love Chinese much more. Sometimes I will write some English articles and sent them to editors and my English articals were published, which made me want to write in English. But at last I determine to write in Chinese. In my view, Chinese is more beautiful and more difficult to write well. But I think my Chinese articles are better than English ones.

But at the same time, I will learn to write English articles. After all, literature is not limited to only one language. So you and other friends such as anna are my teachers.

You can see my Chinese article in other pages. So you can know me better.
_________________
请大家多多指教，谢谢！

[Lake]

Welcome on board.

But I wouldn't call your name. Did you notice that no one on this forum mentioned your screen name? Got it? If you are just a student, why should people here call you like that? 占大辈， Chinese people should be well aware of and very sensitive about it.

Aside from it, it is a nice write on the whole. I wouldn't repeat what others said already but would provide something different.

In addition to Erica's point on the verb tense which I agree, the title:

[[Lake]]

Welcome on board.

But I wouldn't call your name. Did you notice that no one on this forum mentioned your screen name? Got it? If you are just a student, why should people here call you like that? 占大辈， Chinese people should be well aware of and very sensitive about it.

Aside from it, it is a nice write on the whole. I wouldn't repeat what others said already but would provide something different.

In addition to Erica's point on the verb tense which I agree, the title:

[老婆婆]

Lake:

Thank you very much. You help me a lot.

占大辈---

I use this name not because I want to be top of all of you. I am a common student and you are all my teachers. At first I just wanted to put my novel "失落的庄园" here to see the reaction of others. I just wanted to put one or two chapters to see what others think about it and get some suggestion to make it better. But I am lazy and didn't want to spend time thinking out a good name, so I casually took this simple name which flashed across my mind at that moment. But the outcome supprised me very much, my novel was upgraded, which made me happy and determine to continue it.

If this name makes all of you feel uncomfortable, I want to say:" I am very sorry."

I am young and lack of experiences and don't know so much about position in society. In my family I always call my mother young girl and she calls me old woman. Just make fun. But you make me reaize this. Thank you for your teaching. Really.

our 17-year-old---

I also thought this title is not so good but I couldn't know why. Now you have pointed out the key of the problem. I ever thought of "the rainy season", but I thought "我们的十七岁" was better. So I wrote it in "our 17-year-old", which misled you and lost its charming. So could you tell me how to correct my title?

over the rock---

I know "through" is not so suitable because stream can not make a hole in the rock and streams through it. I want to say the stream flow between two rocks or among several rocks, ringing a pleasant music.

But I can't think out a better word. If you think out that word to express the scene that stream flows among the rocks, would you please tell me ? if not, I will change it from "through " to "over".

Thank you for another time. Your words is not only constructive but also helpful. I am very happy, really, though I don't know you and you don't know me, but I am really happy to communicate with you.

Best wishes!
_________________
请大家多多指教，谢谢！

[[老婆婆]]

Lake:

Thank you very much. You help me a lot.

占大辈---

I use this name not because I want to be top of all of you. I am a common student and you are all my teachers. At first I just wanted to put my novel "失落的庄园" here to see the reaction of others. I just wanted to put one or two chapters to see what others think about it and get some suggestion to make it better. But I am lazy and didn't want to spend time thinking out a good name, so I casually took this simple name which flashed across my mind at that moment. But the outcome supprised me very much, my novel was upgraded, which made me happy and determine to continue it.

If this name makes all of you feel uncomfortable, I want to say:" I am very sorry."

I am young and lack of experiences and don't know so much about position in society. In my family I always call my mother young girl and she calls me old woman. Just make fun. But you make me reaize this. Thank you for your teaching. Really.

our 17-year-old---

I also thought this title is not so good but I couldn't know why. Now you have pointed out the key of the problem. I ever thought of "the rainy season", but I thought "我们的十七岁" was better. So I wrote it in "our 17-year-old", which misled you and lost its charming. So could you tell me how to correct my title?

over the rock---

I know "through" is not so suitable because stream can not make a hole in the rock and streams through it. I want to say the stream flow between two rocks or among several rocks, ringing a pleasant music.

But I can't think out a better word. If you think out that word to express the scene that stream flows among the rocks, would you please tell me ? if not, I will change it from "through " to "over".

Thank you for another time. Your words is not only constructive but also helpful. I am very happy, really, though I don't know you and you don't know me, but I am really happy to communicate with you.

Best wishes!
_________________
请大家多多指教，谢谢！

[老婆婆]

And do you think "pebbles" is better than "rock"?
_________________
请大家多多指教，谢谢！

[[老婆婆]]

And do you think "pebbles" is better than "rock"?
_________________
请大家多多指教，谢谢！

[Lake]

Don't get me wrong. It's all up to you to choose whatever name you like. It's just that your name reminds me of another forum where a person used Your Papa as his screen name, which offended a lot of readers. It looks like no one cares here, maybe some people even love it as a nickname, so stick to it as long as you are happy.

When I mentioned 占大辈, I said it for the sake of age only, nothing associated with experience, position, expertise etc. , nor was I trying to teach anybody.

I normally don't post a lot of comments, but once I do I try to make them meaningful and specific. It takes time, effort and concentration to do so. And most of the time I review at least two poems before posting one of mine, which, I believe, is the forum etiquette that I should follow.

You have the potential. Keep posting.

Cheers,

[[Lake]]

Don't get me wrong. It's all up to you to choose whatever name you like. It's just that your name reminds me of another forum where a person used Your Papa as his screen name, which offended a lot of readers. It looks like no one cares here, maybe some people even love it as a nickname, so stick to it as long as you are happy.

When I mentioned 占大辈, I said it for the sake of age only, nothing associated with experience, position, expertise etc. , nor was I trying to teach anybody.

I normally don't post a lot of comments, but once I do I try to make them meaningful and specific. It takes time, effort and concentration to do so. And most of the time I review at least two poems before posting one of mine, which, I believe, is the forum etiquette that I should follow.

You have the potential. Keep posting.

Cheers,

[老婆婆]

Thank you very much. I will keep on posting.

I am very happy to know all of you, really.
_________________
请大家多多指教，谢谢！

[[老婆婆]]

Thank you very much. I will keep on posting.

I am very happy to know all of you, really.
_________________
请大家多多指教，谢谢！