酷我-北美枫

星子 · 酷我！I made it！ 注册时间: 2004-06-05 帖子: 13192 来自: Toronto

Now we are old growth
trees, infertile to yield fruits
and branches loosely sagging;
we remember our youth
when fishes' fresh fins made joyful splashes
or a nightingale's soothing song
sparkled lonely stars.

Love begins with crystal dreams,
ends with dusty winds?
we bow to the soil beneath
and roots stretch deep and far;
embracing with radiating warmth
we hold each other's hands.
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ericcoliu · 发表于: 星期二九月 04, 2007 8:38 am 发表主题:

It’s beautiful imaginary of and organic metaphor for love that takes me back to the Chinese literary tradition of The Books of Odes (Shi Jing):

"Facing life, death, distances,
Here is my promise to thee –
I take thy hand in mine:
We will grow old together."

(死生契阔——与子相悦，执子之手，与子偕老。)

Personally, I’ve little faith in that holding hands kind of love. To me, love is about two distinct personalities trying to confront life together, to make sense of their responsibilities to themselves, to each other, and to the wider society. However, holding hands is a good practice of the Art of a Good Marriage as Wilfred Arlan Peterson claims:

The little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.

In her Love in a Fallen City, Eileen Chang, an anti-romantic love writer, once wrote:

"Facing life, death, distances,
Here is my promise to thee –
I take thy hand in mine:
We will grow old together.

I think this is a very mournful poem which says that life and death and parting are enormous things, well beyond human control. Compared to the great forces in the world, we people are very, very small. But still we say, “I will stay with you forever, we will never, in this life time, leave each other.” – as if we really could decide these thing!"
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Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

anna · Site Admin 注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141

Hi eric,

Thanks a lot.

I wrote it since I believe love has a lot of forms... and different stages...
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Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

anna · Site Admin 注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141

Comments from Penshell....(So I changed the poem accordingly)

I really like this Anna. Beautiful imagery especially the fish's fresh fins. I think that in line two it would flow more if it read "grown into trees" and the only old was in line one.

Otherwise, I think it is perfect and beautiful and filled with truth.

Nochipa
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Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

Lake · 发表于: 星期二九月 04, 2007 11:33 am 发表主题:

Different people have different takes on what love is all about...

But my confusion comes from this line:

星子 · 发表于: 星期二九月 04, 2007 12:24 pm 发表主题:

Hi Lake,

it is song not sing...

Thanks for pointing it out.

Anna
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anna · Site Admin 注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141

Anna,

This is lovely and strikes a chord with me as I too am growing old with my partner, and I have experienced several of the forms of love, we have been married 22 years, and it seems of late we have grown closer and I love the last line of this poem. I agree with Nochipa...on the grown, or growing as it is an evolving process. A beautiful write I much enjoyed.

brenda
www.marrow.org
for Justin

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From talliesin

Re: Love survives a lot of forms
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Gorgeous poem, lotus.

Not that I really wanted to think about the subject
this morning - but there it is :>

I would discard some of the

beginning something like:

Now we are old growth
trees, infertile
to yield fruit, and branches
loosely sagging;
we remember our youth

The Village Bookshop

The Village Bookshop on MySpace
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from Bren101

Reply

Re: Love survives a lot of forms
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I love Doug's ideas for your lines in that part Anna and I Love the title. So well placed, loosely sagging, we remember our youth. Like fish's fresh fins made joyful splashes or nightingale's sparked lonely songs..oh yeah! Youth is wasted on the young, er something like that but they are beautiful! : )

Bren
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Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

星子 · 发表于: 星期四九月 06, 2007 8:32 am 发表主题:

I have asked Doug, why he suggected me to use old growth trees not old grown trees?

He said:

I just like the expression see:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_growth_forest

and I like its sound better.

Here, I also would like to ask Eric for that. Thanks.
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ericcoliu · 发表于: 星期四九月 06, 2007 10:19 pm 发表主题:

Hi! 星子:

It's better to use old growth trees, which literally mean old trees.

By the way, I think you need to put "a" before "fish's" and "nightingale's", respectively.
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Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

兢山风影 · 发表于: 星期五九月 07, 2007 9:53 pm 发表主题:

看不懂！

anna · Site Admin 注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141

I'm a visual writer, I need to be able to visualize what I read. Kinda like an old-school projector reel unfolding with what I read. It isnt often I find a movie I can watch over and over again, your words have done that to me.

I've not much to offer by way of critique, save one small suggestion:

we remember our youth
when fish's fresh fins made joyful splashes
or nightingale's soothing song
sparkled lonely stars.

It isnt much, really, I just think it defines the memories of youth better.

Will be back to savor this again and again later.

Warm regards,
SW.
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Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

anna · Site Admin 注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141

Hi Eric, thanks.
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Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

Champagne · 发表于: 星期日九月 16, 2007 4:47 pm 发表主题:

星子 · 发表于: 星期日九月 16, 2007 5:02 pm 发表主题: