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The moment

 
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anna[星子安娜]
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注册时间: 2004-05-02
帖子: 7141

帖子发表于: 星期三 五月 16, 2007 1:05 pm    发表主题: The moment 引用并回复

When stepping out of the time,
I return to a moment.
Discovering that an angel walks beside
I shield streams of tear.

She smile and say,"Dear, do not cry.
The darkness, you have come through,
I always watch over and take care."

I look upon everything and find it true.
I turn to the blessed moment
and embrace each with a new life.

Thus I say to you, my friends in loneliness,
"Don't cry. Turn and find your guardian.
have that faith."
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com


最后进行编辑的是 anna on 星期三 五月 16, 2007 10:38 pm, 总计第 4 次编辑
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Lake[Lake]
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二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2006-10-10
帖子: 1341
来自: Sky Blue Water

帖子发表于: 星期三 五月 16, 2007 9:41 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

I suppose everyone has peak or low moments in his/her life.

"discovering an angel walk beside ", not sure about the tense of "walk".

"along I always watch and take care", "along" throws me off a bit.
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anna[星子安娜]
anna作品集

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注册时间: 2004-05-02
帖子: 7141

帖子发表于: 星期三 五月 16, 2007 10:32 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

Thanks Lake. In fact. I am not in low mood.

It is my friend... Her company starts to lay off and a woman in her midlife always try to make trouble.

I am reading a meditation book... so I borrow some idea from it.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com
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星子[ANNA]
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酷我!I made it!
酷我!I made it!


注册时间: 2004-06-05
帖子: 13192
来自: Toronto

帖子发表于: 星期四 五月 17, 2007 10:50 am    发表主题: 引用并回复

-----Comments from PenShell

Lotus is a good name for you! This poem is full of compassion; a wish to share the comfort of a moment.. Much appreciated..

Let me have some fun if you don't mind..


Stepping out of time, I return
to a moment, discover the angel
who walks beside me.

I shed streams of tears.

She smiles and says,"Dear, do not cry.
You have come through the darkness
and always, I watch over and care for you."

I look upon everything and find
her words are true. I turn into the blessed moment
and embrace all things with a new life.

Now I say to you, my friends in loneliness,

Don't cry. Turn and find your guardian.
Have that faith.


I'm not suggesting that you change your poem. This is the way I read it. Thank you for the opportunity to work with your words

mike


--------------------------------------
BTW, lotus is the name PenShell gives to me. They give each person a name for fun even we already have our own pen name.
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