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Colin Campbell[克林]
Colin Campbell作品集
九品县令
（一不小心，做了官儿了。）
注册时间: 2004-08-07
帖子: 35
来自: 中国云南昆明市
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 发表于: 星期二 四月 10, 2007 7:14 am 发表主题: 看病最好 |
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机上外星人的飞船
我突然病了
所以请求咨询医生
他们说呆呆
但是可以咨询兽医
Hi folks, sorry to be away for so long.
This little piece started life as a piece of micro fiction and is currently in print in the Leaf Books Anthology, The Final Theory and Other Stories (UK). I thought it might be fun to try it in Hanyu. Here’s the English version:
I took ill on the alien transport and asked to see the doctor.
"Don't be silly," they said, "but you can see the veterinarian."
With kind regards
Colin
最后进行编辑的是 Colin Campbell on 星期二 四月 17, 2007 2:27 am, 总计第 2 次编辑 |
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anna[星子安娜]
anna作品集
Site Admin
注册时间: 2004-05-02
帖子: 7141
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| 发表于: 星期二 四月 10, 2007 7:44 am 发表主题: |
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Hi Colin,
Welcome back.
I am glad to see you here again.
often we don't use one word:"咨" but "咨询".
_________________
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Anna Yin
《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...
http://annapoetry.com |
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Colin Campbell[克林]
Colin Campbell作品集
九品县令
（一不小心，做了官儿了。）
注册时间: 2004-08-07
帖子: 35
来自: 中国云南昆明市
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| 发表于: 星期二 四月 10, 2007 8:20 am 发表主题: Thanks Anna |
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Hi Anna,
It's nice to be back. I'm actually back in China now so I thought I should do something in Hanyu. I've changed the piece as you suggested but dropped a couple of other characters to maintain line length (I do like symmetry).
with kind regards
Colin |
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Lake[Lake]
Lake作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2006-10-10
帖子: 1341
来自: Sky Blue Water
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| 发表于: 星期二 四月 10, 2007 11:10 am 发表主题: |
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Hi Colin,
高兴见到新朋友。请多指导，多交流。
Cheers,
Lake |
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戴玨[Edgar]
戴玨作品集
五品知州
（再努力一把就是四品大员了！）
注册时间: 2006-12-26
帖子: 213
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| 发表于: 星期二 四月 10, 2007 12:33 pm 发表主题: Re: 看病最好 |
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| Colin Campbell 写到: | .
机上外星人的飞船
...
他们说呆呆
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These 2 phrases or clauses are not comprehensible to me.
"我突然病了" is better than “我得病很快” (which actually means "I get sick easily or quickly")。
_________________
我的blog:
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1310527443 |
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Colin Campbell[克林]
Colin Campbell作品集
九品县令
（一不小心，做了官儿了。）
注册时间: 2004-08-07
帖子: 35
来自: 中国云南昆明市
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| 发表于: 星期二 四月 17, 2007 12:58 am 发表主题: |
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| Lake 写到: | Hi Colin,
高兴见到新朋友。请多指导，多交流。
Cheers,
Lake |
Hi Lake,
谢谢
with kind regards
Colin |
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Colin Campbell[克林]
Colin Campbell作品集
九品县令
（一不小心，做了官儿了。）
注册时间: 2004-08-07
帖子: 35
来自: 中国云南昆明市
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| 发表于: 星期二 四月 17, 2007 2:31 am 发表主题: Re: 看病最好 |
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| 戴玨 写到: | | Colin Campbell 写到: | .
机上外星人的飞船
...
他们说呆呆
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These 2 phrases or clauses are not comprehensible to me.
"我突然病了" is better than “我得病很快” (which actually means "I get sick easily or quickly")。 |
Yes you're right, of course, 我突然病了 is better and I've changed it. I guess I was trying too hard to make it rhyme.
many thanks
Colin |
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