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<> The village (请批)

 
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博弈[Mark]
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二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2006-09-24
帖子: 1484
来自: San Francisco

帖子发表于: 星期六 二月 24, 2007 4:17 pm    发表主题: <> The village (请批) 引用并回复

另写 《》村莊

<> The village


He recites: “Qing Shan Guo Wai Xia.”

Those Poets, those…

When did the deathiness occur to them,

Exactly whe—n?


fingers devouring Her plump creamy breasts/
coming out from Her opening as a bystander/
thorns of roses pricked his nameless--ring finger/
the setting sun withdrew the most glorious act/
camp fire madly turned blood the purple curtain/
rain drops fondling ‘n kissing wife’s naked torso/
……
-- He ponders


It is 3:15 am.
The second hand, the heart beat; one by one
--when did it occur to those god damned poets?

Awake,
He decides to leave his temple—the dwelling—

Breasts, roses, afterglows, babies,
The throbbing temple veins, the angelic cries;
God—
What time did it start?

All words need to be elaborated by words;
All times need to be recorded by words;
Then what explains me,
Whom or whit, started the record?

Shall I walk to the edge of the caving earth
Where the fire within burns Zion’ED houses of breasts,
The clouds of primal chaos then tick
And the clock explains my being
So that I can clothe my loved wife, then part?

But then, take a look.
How did they find out?
Wandering, he looks for the recited
….

The watch reads 3:15 am.
_________________
Sometimes I am busy
Sometimes I am free
In between, there's it
Until I find thee...
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anna[星子安娜]
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注册时间: 2004-05-02
帖子: 7141

帖子发表于: 星期六 二月 24, 2007 9:20 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

哈哈...那我就斗胆了...

说错了请谅 ....因为只读两遍.

首先不解脉路整体的联系,另"breasts" here two places used... mean ?

前面很具体,,,后面抽象些...WHY?
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Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com
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博弈[Mark]
博弈作品集

二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2006-09-24
帖子: 1484
来自: San Francisco

帖子发表于: 星期日 二月 25, 2007 12:07 am    发表主题: 引用并回复

anna 写到:


首先不解脉路整体的联系,另"breasts" here two places used... mean ?

前面很具体,,,后面抽象些...WHY?


这是 http://coviews.com/viewtopic.php?t=26893
的另写。

后面的自 “他離開一輩子的夥伴—身體— “这一句开始,开始表达精神”离开“肉体,故选择抽象些。
(Zion’ED )(houses of breasts)可以看成 adj. + noun. 至于breasts, 第一次的是正面的回忆,第二次的已是一个毁灭的表达。

Zion'ED 是一个诗内的组合新字。
圣经中有Mount Zion. 又Zion symbolizes a longing by wandering peoples for a safe homeland.
ED: 勃起功能障碍(Erectile dysfunction, ED)。 取大写的意, 取小写改词性.

把Zion 这个名词过去分词化(-ed)变成形容词,接着“houses of breasts", 合起来的意思,只能意会吧。这个意思,和中文版是不同了,我觉得又更深入. 这篇,是先有中文, 英文刚刚另外写的, 大意相同, 应即时灵感再做些小变动的. 因为不确定好不好懂, 所以希望砖头. 多多益善.
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Sometimes I am busy
Sometimes I am free
In between, there's it
Until I find thee...
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Lake[Lake]
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二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2006-10-10
帖子: 1341
来自: Sky Blue Water

帖子发表于: 星期一 二月 26, 2007 12:02 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

I find it sensual and evocative.

Your use of 简体、繁体、拼音、符号、形式in your poems remindes me of T.S. Eliot , who (I heard) was once criticized for using French and Latin in his poetry. He responded that English was inadequate to precisely convey his ideas. He was only concerned with bringing his thoughts and images forward. The reader to him was secondary to the process.

I am not that so bold and brave.
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博弈[Mark]
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二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2006-09-24
帖子: 1484
来自: San Francisco

帖子发表于: 星期一 二月 26, 2007 12:14 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

Lake 写到:
I find it sensual and evocative.

Your use of 简体、繁体、拼音、符号、形式in your poems remindes me of T.S. Eliot , who (I heard) was once criticized for using French and Latin in his poetry. He responded that English was inadequate to precisely convey his ideas. He was only concerned with bringing his thoughts and images forward. The reader to him was secondary to the process.

I am not that so bold and brave.


if that's the case, wait 1 minute
I just 整 出 the remaining text,
you arr the first one to read it, next post
_________________
Sometimes I am busy
Sometimes I am free
In between, there's it
Until I find thee...
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