酷我-北美枫

星子 · 酷我！I made it！ 注册时间: 2004-06-05 帖子: 13192 来自: Toronto

Truth

It’s easy to hear what others proclaim,
Omit the unsaid by the ignorant mind.
Storms always form after winds howl and blame
Rains follow loud commands and are entwined.
What is left, afterwards? The dirty path
Full of disturbed scenes and ugly misdeeds.

At last, you gaze outside with fading wrath,
Hide your insane soul beneath sands and reeds.
From your secret paradox, Evils may
Soon dress them up and cry their false tears.
Magic plays in a stingy, greedy way,
You master it as your victory stairs.

Yet you cannot block the lights from shining
that sing their freedom without confining.

(请继续批评指正) 谢谢
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Lake · 发表于: 星期四二月 01, 2007 3:48 pm 发表主题:

哇，又一首，真快。我可没有你那么 productive.

有没有发现，尝试不同的 form, 自己的 style 也会有所变化。

星子 · 发表于: 星期四二月 01, 2007 6:05 pm 发表主题:

Thanks lake....

For the rhyme it is very difficult. I need to change words again and again, still could not find the fit one.

Anyway, I will still work on it.
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anna · Site Admin 注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141

revised it. For the 10 syllables and others

tears （眼泪）和 stairs 是同韵, I checked the dictionary.

Thanks a lot.
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Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

Lake · 发表于: 星期四二月 01, 2007 11:06 pm 发表主题:

anna · Site Admin 注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141

http://www.rhymezone.com/r/rhyme.cgi?Word=tears&typeofrhyme=perfect&org1=syl&org2=l

那看来字典有问题了?

我倒没去细看...音和意了...也许没考虑多音多意...

欢迎再批....

我写诗,我儿子确实是很大的因素....孩子眼睛更亮更纯净...
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Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

Lake · 发表于: 星期四二月 01, 2007 11:30 pm 发表主题:

lol. 字典没问题。

只是 tear 有两个发音：取“眼泪”的意思，发音同beer，取“撕”的意思，发音同 stair。我想你要的是“眼泪”的意思吧。

江落雨 · 发表于: 星期五二月 02, 2007 12:10 am 发表主题:

为什么你的心中会有那么多的诗？是因为生活太舒适，人生太幸福？我不懂诗，但我想，心中有诗的人，对这个世界有太多的梦想和期待。当我十几岁的时候，我的心中也有诗，只不过，人长得越大，越觉得现实，诗也就没有了，与诗一起消失的，还有梦想和期待。

星子 · 发表于: 星期五二月 02, 2007 12:28 am 发表主题:

博弈 · 发表于: 星期五二月 02, 2007 12:40 am 发表主题:

anna · Site Admin 注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141

谢谢你...博学...
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Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

星子 · 发表于: 星期日二月 04, 2007 4:16 pm 发表主题:

Sonnet is very complicated, the rules are very difficult to stick on.

My first two didn't apply rhymes meter correctly.
Since Iambic feet ( da-dum, da-dum, da-dum, da-dum, da-dum) is a harder challenge.
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