酷我-北美枫

[Lake]

Allow it to repose for a while.

弄不好，就成了“东施效颦”了。其实，那也很不错。

[[Lake]]

Allow it to repose for a while.

弄不好，就成了“东施效颦”了。其实，那也很不错。

[kokho]

[[晓辉]]

[Lake]

[[Lake]]

[ljm001]

A very poetic start with a sonnet style.

As it goes: better to start writing poems in a rigid way than in a free style.

Best wishes.
_________________
听坡上林涛低鸣，看崖下海浪拍岸

[[星海]]

A very poetic start with a sonnet style.

As it goes: better to start writing poems in a rigid way than in a free style.

Best wishes.
_________________
听坡上林涛低鸣，看崖下海浪拍岸

[Lake]

Thanks for your kind words, ljm001.

[[Lake]]

Thanks for your kind words, ljm001.

[Lake]

[[Lake]]

[星子]

much better.

You know I feel some lines are forced to break...

I am not sure how to read it smoothly.
_________________

[[ANNA]]

much better.

You know I feel some lines are forced to break...

I am not sure how to read it smoothly.
_________________

[Lake]

Thanks 星子！

[[Lake]]

Thanks 星子！

[ljm001]

[[星海]]

[博弈]

you mention me in the follow-up, so I guess I need to reply with something;

1. when I said earlier get rid of 'I' but keep the I-ness conscious in a poem, it was about your first one, or use 'I' more naturally and fluently as in the previously attached example.
2. I don't know how to correct poems for people in general, but I can guess what you mean and write one , so here it goes

I take abba abba ccd dee, put it in a rush as it was my guess, also expect readers to correct mine, so I hope(I do not avoid long words as long as they sound OK, but I used no 'I' here at all, in this example)

Indulgence

) brought it on this nightly glimmer puzzles
with hints in meters and forms walking feet
that dazzle with cursed charm beyond defeat
rhyme back Sicilian narrative circle

curiosity, ecstasy equal.
a mind diverted to some blank verse fleet
via mystic liberation of retreat
of thoughts tantalized, as nominal

like a kayak skims over waters to
ten-thousand Lake where canoes mark tattoo
as inspirations on top of ocean
of passion that lead to aspiration
then, sweat and swear no more poetic hat
for indulgence pervades forms, feet and (what
_________________
Sometimes I am busy
Sometimes I am free
In between, there's it
Until I find thee...

[[Mark]]

you mention me in the follow-up, so I guess I need to reply with something;

1. when I said earlier get rid of 'I' but keep the I-ness conscious in a poem, it was about your first one, or use 'I' more naturally and fluently as in the previously attached example.
2. I don't know how to correct poems for people in general, but I can guess what you mean and write one , so here it goes

I take abba abba ccd dee, put it in a rush as it was my guess, also expect readers to correct mine, so I hope(I do not avoid long words as long as they sound OK, but I used no 'I' here at all, in this example)

Indulgence

) brought it on this nightly glimmer puzzles
with hints in meters and forms walking feet
that dazzle with cursed charm beyond defeat
rhyme back Sicilian narrative circle

curiosity, ecstasy equal.
a mind diverted to some blank verse fleet
via mystic liberation of retreat
of thoughts tantalized, as nominal

like a kayak skims over waters to
ten-thousand Lake where canoes mark tattoo
as inspirations on top of ocean
of passion that lead to aspiration
then, sweat and swear no more poetic hat
for indulgence pervades forms, feet and (what
_________________
Sometimes I am busy
Sometimes I am free
In between, there's it
Until I find thee...

[Lake]

[[Lake]]

[Lake]

Wow! Look, quite a number of feedbacks I've received. Thank you all!

[[Lake]]

Wow! Look, quite a number of feedbacks I've received. Thank you all!

[kokho]

Lake's latest work is more agile and gracious...
(You are there, there is no deny that you are a poetess now!)

Our 博弈 is always in the cutting edge

.
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌

[[晓辉]]

Lake's latest work is more agile and gracious...
(You are there, there is no deny that you are a poetess now!)

Our 博弈 is always in the cutting edge

.
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌

[kokho]

Charmed with classical elegance, a storm
of ecstasy, upward a spirit flies,
while the path to the mystic abyss led
by free verses, diverts a confused mind.
A heart, enchanted, thus lingers instead;
A soul, bewildered, now cringes, confined.

<> I enjoyed very much the contrast of imagery here...

The pull of night sky and poetic appeal against the inward feeling of inadequacy!

It is a very good application of aesthetics!

..
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌

[[晓辉]]

Charmed with classical elegance, a storm
of ecstasy, upward a spirit flies,
while the path to the mystic abyss led
by free verses, diverts a confused mind.
A heart, enchanted, thus lingers instead;
A soul, bewildered, now cringes, confined.

<> I enjoyed very much the contrast of imagery here...

The pull of night sky and poetic appeal against the inward feeling of inadequacy!

It is a very good application of aesthetics!

..
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌

[Lake]

Your comments and critiques are dearly missed, Kokho.

[[Lake]]

Your comments and critiques are dearly missed, Kokho.