酷我-北美枫

[Lake]

Phoenix Mountain

I long for your quiet posture
trees, grasses, bushes and flowers
embellishing your elegant figure

I long for the maze in caves
the meandering narrow trails
the thrill and laughter of boys and girls

I long for your rhythms of life
dews, fireflies, birds and insects
sing to climbers’ sweat and lovers’ caress

I long for your broad mind
the shades of emerald canopies in summer
treacherous paths of silvery blankets in winter

I long for the smell of morning mist
slowly evaporating into the rising sun
a fresh and lively face unveiled

I seek you, Phoenix Mountain
hold me tight to your chest again
touching white clouds with your evergreen

（又露丑了。feedback, 有很nice 的，也有很weird。您看：
This poem could of been written and recited by a campfire in the 1800's at night by an old time prospector while he sipped on a whiskey and coffe blend.）

[[Lake]]

Phoenix Mountain

I long for your quiet posture
trees, grasses, bushes and flowers
embellishing your elegant figure

I long for the maze in caves
the meandering narrow trails
the thrill and laughter of boys and girls

I long for your rhythms of life
dews, fireflies, birds and insects
sing to climbers’ sweat and lovers’ caress

I long for your broad mind
the shades of emerald canopies in summer
treacherous paths of silvery blankets in winter

I long for the smell of morning mist
slowly evaporating into the rising sun
a fresh and lively face unveiled

I seek you, Phoenix Mountain
hold me tight to your chest again
touching white clouds with your evergreen

（又露丑了。feedback, 有很nice 的，也有很weird。您看：
This poem could of been written and recited by a campfire in the 1800's at night by an old time prospector while he sipped on a whiskey and coffe blend.）

[Lake]

（Here is a revision, trying to get rid of some repetitions, making it sounds not much of read-aloud poem. Please let me know if it works.)

Phoenix Mountain

your quiet posture, embellished
with trees, grasses, bushes and flowers

the thrill and laughter of boys and girls
meandering through caves, along trails

birds and insects sing to the rhythms of life--
dewdrops, fireflies; climbers’ sweat, lovers’ caress

and who casts the shady emerald canopies in summer?
and who spreads the treacherous silvery blankets in winter?

the lavender smell, the fregrant haze, the dreamy sun
a fresh lively face thus unveiled

standing on Phoenix Mountain again
touching white clouds with your evergreen


(better? worse? same?)

[[Lake]]

（Here is a revision, trying to get rid of some repetitions, making it sounds not much of read-aloud poem. Please let me know if it works.)

Phoenix Mountain

your quiet posture, embellished
with trees, grasses, bushes and flowers

the thrill and laughter of boys and girls
meandering through caves, along trails

birds and insects sing to the rhythms of life--
dewdrops, fireflies; climbers’ sweat, lovers’ caress

and who casts the shady emerald canopies in summer?
and who spreads the treacherous silvery blankets in winter?

the lavender smell, the fregrant haze, the dreamy sun
a fresh lively face thus unveiled

standing on Phoenix Mountain again
touching white clouds with your evergreen


(better? worse? same?)

[星子]

I like the revision. More modern.
_________________

[[ANNA]]

I like the revision. More modern.
_________________

[kokho]

很高兴　ｌａｋｅ

把朗诵诗　去　“我”

很有倒装的成功！

再努力哟。。。

。
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌

[[晓辉]]

很高兴　ｌａｋｅ

把朗诵诗　去　“我”

很有倒装的成功！

再努力哟。。。

。
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌

[Lake]

[[Lake]]

[Lake]

[[Lake]]