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南北客[南北] 南北客作品集 五品知州 (再努力一把就是四品大员了!)
注册时间: 2005-11-17 帖子: 220
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发表于: 星期日 十一月 12, 2006 7:12 pm 发表主题: 急流 |
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Rapid
Never rest, day after day
but slow down just before May
Thrusting the rocks without pity
You believe, you have a stronger body
You make some constant noise
n’ I’m not going to disturb your singing
with my humble voice
Running like a naughty rabbit
you don’t eat, yet so fit
Are you enjoying your life?
or merely it’s a habit
Oh! runner, are you sad or happy
or simply just like me, who
rather be alone, away from any party.
No worrying, no yearning
just want to see you, keep on rolling……
几句肤浅的英文,不能算诗。即使说诗,也只能算儿童(水平)诗。 |
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星子[ANNA] 星子作品集 酷我!I made it!
注册时间: 2004-06-05 帖子: 13192 来自: Toronto
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发表于: 星期日 十一月 12, 2006 10:27 pm 发表主题: |
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这首的节奏感很好....
欢迎新朋友.
有一些小语法问题想探讨一下...
比如:
Never rest, day after day
but slow down just before May
--时态是什么? _________________
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Lake[Lake] Lake作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2006-10-10 帖子: 1341 来自: Sky Blue Water
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发表于: 星期一 十一月 13, 2006 3:02 pm 发表主题: |
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I like the spirit in it. I always appreciate those who have the rhyming skills, and this is well rhymed poem. One thing I don't like here is the use of "n’ " which sounds archaic in this poem.
引用: | Oh! runner, are you sad or happy
or simply just like me, who
rather be alone, away from any party |
Hmmm this is me.
Good poem. Thanks for sharing. |
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南北客[南北] 南北客作品集 五品知州 (再努力一把就是四品大员了!)
注册时间: 2005-11-17 帖子: 220
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发表于: 星期二 十一月 14, 2006 1:09 am 发表主题: |
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星子 写到: | 这首的节奏感很好....
欢迎新朋友.
有一些小语法问题想探讨一下...
比如:
Never rest, day after day
but slow down just before May
--时态是什么? |
谢谢星子赞赏。
因为所发生的事是每天的,该是一般现在时吧,主语当然是“YOU”了。我以为诗不一定每一句都要用完整的句子的。 |
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南北客[南北] 南北客作品集 五品知州 (再努力一把就是四品大员了!)
注册时间: 2005-11-17 帖子: 220
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发表于: 星期二 十一月 14, 2006 1:12 am 发表主题: |
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Lake 写到: | I like the spirit in it. I always appreciate those who have the rhyming skills, and this is well rhymed poem. One thing I don't like here is the use of "n’ " which sounds archaic in this poem.
引用: | Oh! runner, are you sad or happy
or simply just like me, who
rather be alone, away from any party |
Hmmm this is me.
Good poem. Thanks for sharing. |
谢谢Lake,"n"确实有点口语话了。 |
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kokho[晓辉] kokho作品集 三品按察使 (天,你是斑竹吧?)
注册时间: 2006-10-25 帖子: 792 来自: Singapore
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发表于: 星期三 十一月 22, 2006 1:32 pm 发表主题: |
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即兴诗歌 的美感 。。。 欢迎新朋友友 :))
。 _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌 |
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