酷我-北美枫

[anna]

Hey, a tiger is in the shadow,
thirsty and hungry,
traversing the rainforest.

Winds sweep down brown grasses,
He leaps like a flash of lightning.

The mountains slumber in the dark.
He stops by a moon-lit lake.

Pondering his lonely image,
he groans in the enormous emptiness.

The moon hides behind clouds.
A street lamp pools
its pale light on my bed--
a book remains half-open.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

Hey, a tiger is in the shadow,
thirsty and hungry,
traversing the rainforest.

Winds sweep down brown grasses,
He leaps like a flash of lightning.

The mountains slumber in the dark.
He stops by a moon-lit lake.

Pondering his lonely image,
he groans in the enormous emptiness.

The moon hides behind clouds.
A street lamp pools
its pale light on my bed--
a book remains half-open.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[anna]

Hey, Anna, this is one of your best works yet. I like the simple opening and your use of the verb "traversing". I can clearly imagine the winds sweeping down the grass and the tiger leaping. I follow him to the mountain and the lake. I don't think you need "on" after pondering. "Pondering" will do just fine. I am not sure about "he groans like a lost cat"-- I know what you mean to say, but he is a cat after all, so you don't really need to say he groans "like" a cat. I love the close-- mature and thought-provoking.

Best,
Emily
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

Hey, Anna, this is one of your best works yet. I like the simple opening and your use of the verb "traversing". I can clearly imagine the winds sweeping down the grass and the tiger leaping. I follow him to the mountain and the lake. I don't think you need "on" after pondering. "Pondering" will do just fine. I am not sure about "he groans like a lost cat"-- I know what you mean to say, but he is a cat after all, so you don't really need to say he groans "like" a cat. I love the close-- mature and thought-provoking.

Best,
Emily
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com