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星子[ANNA] 星子作品集 酷我!I made it!
注册时间: 2004-06-05 帖子: 13192 来自: Toronto
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发表于: 星期二 六月 23, 2009 9:07 am 发表主题: 读特德修斯的满月 |
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我在品味特德修斯的满月,
我以为我爱上了羞涩的主人。
他提了满桶的奶,
站在背后静静地看着。
整晚,我一直在琢磨主人,
月亮以及奶牛,并记得
小时候的童谣有那么一句:
The cow jumps onto the moon.
昨夜我睡醒起来,月光正铺满我的床前,
我探头去看月亮时,很满。
而微风习习,纱帘轻晃。
我往镜子里照看;
主人一惊,退了一步,
哦,真的,很满很圆。
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Full Moon and Little Frieda
by Ted Hughes
A cool small evening shrunk to a dog bark
and the clank of a bucket -
And you listening.
A spider's web, tense for the dew's touch.
A pail lifted, still and brimming - mirror
To tempt a first star to a tremor.
Cows are going home in the lane there,
looping the hedges with their warm
wreaths of breath -
A dark river of blood, many boulders,
Balancing unspilled milk.
'Moon!' you cry suddenly, 'Moon! Moon!'
The moon has stepped back like an artist
gazing amazed at a work _________________
最后进行编辑的是 星子 on 星期四 六月 25, 2009 7:36 pm, 总计第 3 次编辑 |
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华轩[FFFFFF] 华轩作品集 三品按察使 (天,你是斑竹吧?)
注册时间: 2007-07-13 帖子: 688
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发表于: 星期二 六月 23, 2009 9:20 pm 发表主题: |
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哪里可找到他的诗 我也想尝试那牛奶般能看能喝的月光 |
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蔡利华[蔡利华] 蔡利华作品集 二品总督总管 (回首人生,前途在望)
注册时间: 2004-12-15 帖子: 2049 来自: 重庆
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发表于: 星期三 六月 24, 2009 6:11 am 发表主题: |
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月光很美. _________________ http://www.blogcn.com/user44/cailihua/index.html
http://blog.sina.com.cn/cailihua9363 |
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anna[星子安娜] anna作品集 Site Admin
注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141
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发表于: 星期三 六月 24, 2009 8:40 am 发表主题: |
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哈哈。。。华轩是真懂其境呀。原诗歌中有几个关键词来关联,我在写中文时用了其他关键词。。。(他的原诗,就在同一贴里。)
蔡大哥,我就不知道了
这里,我再贴一个自己英文的初版,读后感吧
I fall in love with you, Moon,
seeing you step back like a timid artist.
Ted Hughes and little Frieda lean over the door,
listening to the night,
and you come out, a pail lifted.
Moon, they are gone.
they left you watching over the river.
How many years since?
And you watch the small village
becoming a floating island in the dark.
Among rows of windows,
the night flows and I, sleepless.
How much I want to imitate Li Po,
dancing with his white sleeves,
humming from his burning heart ,
night after night invited you for a drink!
The wine never drained,
but he drowned in the moon-lit river.
Moon, lift your bucket,
come out once again.
I won't make a sound,
my cup waits for you
to pour the solo wine. _________________ ---------------------
Anna Yin
《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...
http://annapoetry.com
最后进行编辑的是 anna on 星期五 六月 26, 2009 10:30 am, 总计第 1 次编辑 |
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华轩[FAFAFA] 华轩作品集 三品按察使 (天,你是斑竹吧?)
注册时间: 2007-07-13 帖子: 688
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发表于: 星期三 六月 24, 2009 6:37 pm 发表主题: |
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我搜索了一遍 找不到关于他的其它作品 好像主要写情诗的
这首诗有三个切入 月光 奶牛 取其形似 取其稀释的流畅 一个盛接的桶作为作者的容
作者的心永远装不满月光 而物质的牛奶只会是一次新陈代谢 两者都不能固定
这才叫人烦恼 |
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星子[ANNA] 星子作品集 酷我!I made it!
注册时间: 2004-06-05 帖子: 13192 来自: Toronto
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发表于: 星期四 六月 25, 2009 7:29 am 发表主题: |
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华轩说的有理。。。还有另一层,我不能说。。。如果你看出了,也不能说
改天自己翻译一下。 _________________
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星子[ANNA] 星子作品集 酷我!I made it!
注册时间: 2004-06-05 帖子: 13192 来自: Toronto
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发表于: 星期四 六月 25, 2009 12:35 pm 发表主题: |
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(最后一节又改译了。。。看来我也得把中文改了。。)
While I read Ted Hughes’ Full Moon,
I think I fall in love with his master.
Standing behind the night sky,
he lifts his pail, full of milk,
and gazes on the earth in silence.
The whole night, I wonder
why his milk never drains,
and remember a line from a lullaby,
The cow jumps onto the moon.
Pre-dawn I awake.
in front of my window, the milk overflows.
Lifting up my eyes, I find the moon, full.
Breezes pass by, my thin veil sways.
I take a look at the glossy mirror,
his master is stunned and retreats.
Alas, the full and brimming moon. _________________
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钟磊0502[钟磊] 钟磊0502作品集 三品按察使 (天,你是斑竹吧?)
注册时间: 2005-10-22 帖子: 965
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发表于: 星期四 六月 25, 2009 6:58 pm 发表主题: |
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问好,韵味十足,诗情饱满。 |
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rolland[FAFAFA] rolland作品集 六品通判 (官儿做大了,保持廉洁哦)
注册时间: 2006-11-04 帖子: 118
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发表于: 星期四 六月 25, 2009 10:46 pm 发表主题: |
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和Ted Hughes 的诗有着一样的画面感和韵味。欣赏。 |
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anna[星子安娜] anna作品集 Site Admin
注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141
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发表于: 星期五 六月 26, 2009 8:47 am 发表主题: |
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谢谢钟磊。。。
谢谢rolland。
Ted Hughes 的有着更深的意思,更多的层次。。。他每个词都是关联和有意义的。。。可惜我的很浅。。。 _________________ ---------------------
Anna Yin
《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...
http://annapoetry.com |
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华轩[FAFAFA] 华轩作品集 三品按察使 (天,你是斑竹吧?)
注册时间: 2007-07-13 帖子: 688
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发表于: 星期五 六月 26, 2009 12:33 pm 发表主题: |
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特德重在叙述他的所能联想 为一件发现而准确描述 他的用词确实很有艺术修养
与中国古代名诗人可比 为文学难言才修饰 属于修饰大家了
星子可能读后感的原因 抒情面居广
The Mermaid's Purse
The Mermaid's shriek
Made Ocean shake.
She'd opened her purse
For an aspirin—
What a shock!
Out came a shark
With a great black fin
Hissing: ‘Here's Nurse
And Surgeon in one
Great flashing grin!’
Now both headache
And head have gone
Or she'd feel worse.
我找到这篇 很相似 隐晦但关联 |
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星子[ANNA] 星子作品集 酷我!I made it!
注册时间: 2004-06-05 帖子: 13192 来自: Toronto
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华轩[FAFAFA] 华轩作品集 三品按察使 (天,你是斑竹吧?)
注册时间: 2007-07-13 帖子: 688
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发表于: 星期五 六月 26, 2009 2:29 pm 发表主题: |
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我认为星子的理解是接近作者的 因为我也“那么看 ”
说到优美显然他的诗不能出色
从他的诗我推测与他的居住所及生活习惯有关 似乎更多时候只在门口走走 一个不好动的人
加之词采不如汉语既有的丰富 偏狭的取材造成他的诗冷色如金属
但同时也突出了他的艺术造诣 所以这种思维习惯像我上面说的 真可一学 |
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anna[星子安娜] anna作品集 Site Admin
注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141
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发表于: 星期五 六月 26, 2009 2:48 pm 发表主题: |
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初读时,我被他的想象震惊。。。就特别想用上这些意象。。。月亮在这诗里真活了。。。
这艺术也活了,,,就像我们是他的艺术,而他是我们所看的艺术。。。这样的构思真美。
A spider's web, tense for the dew's touch.
A pail lifted, still and brimming - mirror
To tempt a first star to a tremor.
The moon has stepped back like an artist
gazing amazed at a work _________________ ---------------------
Anna Yin
《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...
http://annapoetry.com |
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返回页首 |
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anna[星子安娜] anna作品集 Site Admin
注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141
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发表于: 星期二 七月 07, 2009 11:15 am 发表主题: |
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Final version
I fall in love with you, Moon,
seeing you step back like a timid artist.
Ted Hughes and little Frieda lean over the door,
listening to the night,
and you come out, a pail lifted.
Moon, they are gone.
they left you watching over the river.
How many years since?
And you watch the small village
becoming a floating island in the dark.
Among rows of windows,
the night flows and I, sleepless.
How much I want to imitate Li Po,
dancing with his white sleeves,
a hum from his burning heart ,
night after night inviting you for a drink!
The wine never drained,
but he drowned in the silver river.
Moon, lift your bucket,
come out once again.
I won't make a sound.
Nominated by Penshell for IBPC's July contest. _________________ ---------------------
Anna Yin
《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...
http://annapoetry.com |
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