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anna[星子安娜] anna作品集 Site Admin
注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141
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发表于: 星期二 一月 20, 2009 8:23 pm 发表主题: poem 6 (final,hidden) |
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_________________ ---------------------
Anna Yin
《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...
http://annapoetry.com
最后进行编辑的是 anna on 星期六 一月 24, 2009 5:42 pm, 总计第 4 次编辑 |
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anna[星子安娜] anna作品集 Site Admin
注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141
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发表于: 星期三 一月 21, 2009 9:53 pm 发表主题: |
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Another version:
deleted. _________________ ---------------------
Anna Yin
《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...
http://annapoetry.com
最后进行编辑的是 anna on 星期四 一月 22, 2009 11:44 am, 总计第 3 次编辑 |
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anna[星子安娜] anna作品集 Site Admin
注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141
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发表于: 星期三 一月 21, 2009 11:16 pm 发表主题: |
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annayn:
This is one of the strangest and most beautiful poem about a stone.
It begins:
I knock at the stone's front door -
"It's only me, let me come in.
I want to enter your insides,
have a look round,
breathe my fill of you."
Conversation With A Stone by Wislawa Szymborska is available on the internet if you wish to take a look.
Cheers:
Lima _________________ ---------------------
Anna Yin
《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...
http://annapoetry.com |
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anna[星子安娜] anna作品集 Site Admin
注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141
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发表于: 星期三 一月 21, 2009 11:17 pm 发表主题: |
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---Comments from Poets.org
This has a really nice feel to it.
I'm sort of keen on such a poem as a "When the...," for as long as it's followed up by something good (this one is), it adds a whole dimension (this one does).
I especially like the revisions done.
I might suggest changing "clothing" to "clothed with lichen."
thanks!
tom _________________ ---------------------
Anna Yin
《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...
http://annapoetry.com |
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anna[星子安娜] anna作品集 Site Admin
注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141
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发表于: 星期五 一月 23, 2009 10:38 am 发表主题: |
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Comments from Penshell..
Anna,
This is very good! I have a couple of suggestions for you here...
deleted.
I absolutely love, love, love, your ending and the title! _________________ ---------------------
Anna Yin
《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...
http://annapoetry.com |
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anna[星子安娜] anna作品集 Site Admin
注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141
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发表于: 星期五 一月 23, 2009 10:41 am 发表主题: |
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Thanks Bren for his suggestions.
I love it. Yes. at first, I also think of omiting some verbs... but fear the grammar issue. Now I know sometimes I do need to be brave. _________________ ---------------------
Anna Yin
《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...
http://annapoetry.com |
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anna[星子安娜] anna作品集 Site Admin
注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141
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发表于: 星期六 一月 24, 2009 5:49 pm 发表主题: |
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From Poets.org
hi A---
don't think this much 'bout no stone -- nobody here is heartless or cold---like a stone.
so, glad for the revision:
deleted. _________________ ---------------------
Anna Yin
《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...
http://annapoetry.com |
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anna[星子安娜] anna作品集 Site Admin
注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141
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发表于: 星期日 一月 25, 2009 9:48 am 发表主题: |
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Sometimes we do see everyone reads differently and tries various versions.
Anna _________________ ---------------------
Anna Yin
《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...
http://annapoetry.com |
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