酷我-北美枫

dundas

The Time of the Tale co-written by ericcoliu

Go back, way back, to the earliest times
when men and women, elders and children
sat together, gazing at one another,
at green fields,
blue skies,
mountains and valleys,
rivers and oceans,
animals and plants,
lighting and fire,
wondering, speculating,
pondering:
(as it is our human nature to do)
What is all this that we see
unfolding before our eyes?
(and what are these impulses
unsettling our hearts and minds?)
Questions were asked,
words were spoken,
and stories were conceived --
told, remembered, and passed down,
through the generations to me.
Now, it is my turn to tell the story to you.

Note:

The Time of the Tale was handed down from a scholarly storyteller to me. Now, it’s my turn to tell this story, hoping that you’ll remember and tell it to our future generation.
_________________
My throat knew thirst before the structure
Of skin and vein around the well

ericcoliu · 发表于: 星期六九月 20, 2008 4:17 pm 发表主题:

The note reads like a pre-text or subtext of your piece, forcing the reader to take time contemplating your story.

Champagne

christine · 四品府丞 （封疆大吏也！） 注册时间: 2008-02-25 帖子: 304

川生

hahaview

温暖的水獸

dundas · 发表于: 星期一九月 29, 2008 12:34 pm 发表主题:

dundas

Lake · 发表于: 星期五十月 03, 2008 1:28 pm 发表主题:

A nice poem, the language flows well. But I do have some questions.

dundas · 发表于: 星期四十月 09, 2008 12:05 pm 发表主题:

Lake,

Thanks for the read and your suggestions. I've revised my piece.
_________________
My throat knew thirst before the structure
Of skin and vein around the well

dundas · 发表于: 星期四十月 09, 2008 12:07 pm 发表主题:

ericcoliu · 发表于: 星期六十月 11, 2008 8:17 am 发表主题:

The following is my take:

The Time of the Tale by ericcoliu

Go back, way back, to the earliest times.
When men and women, elders and children
Sat together, gazing at one another,
At green fields, at blue skies,
At mountains and valleys, at rivers and oceans,
At animals and plants, and at lighting and fire,
Wondering, speculating, and pondering:
(As it is our human nature to do)
What is all this that we see
Unfolding before our eyes?
(And what are these impulses
Unsettling our hearts and minds?)
Questions were asked,
Words were spoken,
And stories were conceived –-
Told, remembered, and passed down,
Through the generations to him and finally to me.
Now, it is my turn to tell the story to you.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

dundas · 发表于: 星期四十月 23, 2008 2:38 pm 发表主题:

Thanks for the read and re-write. Now, we co-author and pass on The Story to the future generations.
_________________
My throat knew thirst before the structure
Of skin and vein around the well

ericcoliu · 发表于: 星期三十一月 19, 2008 5:12 pm 发表主题:

Below is my another take:

The Time of the Tale

Go back, way back, to the earliest times
when men and women, elders and children
sat together, gazing at one another,
at green fields,
blue skies,
mountains and valleys,
rivers and oceans,
animals and plants,
lighting and fire,
wondering, speculating,
pondering:
(as it is our human nature to do)
What is all this that we see
unfolding before our eyes?
(and what are these impulses
unsettling our hearts and minds?)
Questions were asked,
words were spoken,
and stories were conceived --
told, remembered, and passed down,
through the generations to me.
Now, it is my turn to tell the story to you.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul