酷我-北美枫

[anna]

It is okay
she tells herself, in the dark,
into deaf ears.

her self-portrait abandoned
in the corner,
painted for months or years,
looks back at her, cold.

Her eyes, icy blue,
draped with rough honey,
white like snow-covered soil.

An army of ants crawling in,
occupy their demanding home.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

It is okay
she tells herself, in the dark,
into deaf ears.

her self-portrait abandoned
in the corner,
painted for months or years,
looks back at her, cold.

Her eyes, icy blue,
draped with rough honey,
white like snow-covered soil.

An army of ants crawling in,
occupy their demanding home.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[anna]

There are many comments for Penshells and other forum, I just post some very interesting one and my reply...(Anna)

--------------------


A---

i suppose no one has given your work a rougher time than myself --- so i am surprised and pleased to tell you that this is one i like --- lots.

give or take this unfortunate choice:


Her eyes, icy blue,

the devil must have made the narrator say that ---

not important.

well, guess in' the pom is a gloss of plath's mirror poem -- her self-portrait.

can be seen, a least one, here:

http://csarven.ca/soliloquy-of-the-solipsist-by-sylvia-plath


english is not your first language, did you actually dig this out?

the opening lines to Plath's Soliloquy of the Solipsist:


I walk alone;
The midnight street
Spins itself from under my feet;
When my eyes shut
These dreaming houses all snuff out;
Through a whim of mine
Over gables the moon's celestial onion
Hangs high.


my italics.


well, you are my favorite rascal, so maybe i'm wrong.

from her Mirror poem:

The eye of a little god, four-cornered.
Most of the time I meditate on the opposite wall.


one thing for sure, reade those two poems and no one will complain about your jump cuts, juxtopositions and fanciful language.

by contrast, your poem is just down right easy to understand.

(did you know that plath's father had a doctorate from harvard dealing with the cycle of the bumblebee.)


so, somehow, the ants felt logical enough.



An army of ants crawling in,
occupy their demanding home.

"their" meaning plath and ted hughes --- or sylvia and her "daddy" who was so demanding and dictatorial --- or nothing of this kind at all.

i like the poem because of its serious darkness, not because of any possible connection to plath.

the Bell Jar could be the story of your last poem --- the one in which a young girl awakens --- mental illness, the sruggle to establish her talent and her own living space.

your title made me think of this short poem:

Quote:
The moon is door. It is a face in its own right,
White as a knuckle and terribly upset.
It drags the sea after it like a dark crime; it is quiet
With the O-gape of complete despair.
- Sylvia Plath




good job.

a hard hitting poem.


bernie
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

There are many comments for Penshells and other forum, I just post some very interesting one and my reply...(Anna)

--------------------


A---

i suppose no one has given your work a rougher time than myself --- so i am surprised and pleased to tell you that this is one i like --- lots.

give or take this unfortunate choice:


Her eyes, icy blue,

the devil must have made the narrator say that ---

not important.

well, guess in' the pom is a gloss of plath's mirror poem -- her self-portrait.

can be seen, a least one, here:

http://csarven.ca/soliloquy-of-the-solipsist-by-sylvia-plath


english is not your first language, did you actually dig this out?

the opening lines to Plath's Soliloquy of the Solipsist:


I walk alone;
The midnight street
Spins itself from under my feet;
When my eyes shut
These dreaming houses all snuff out;
Through a whim of mine
Over gables the moon's celestial onion
Hangs high.


my italics.


well, you are my favorite rascal, so maybe i'm wrong.

from her Mirror poem:

The eye of a little god, four-cornered.
Most of the time I meditate on the opposite wall.


one thing for sure, reade those two poems and no one will complain about your jump cuts, juxtopositions and fanciful language.

by contrast, your poem is just down right easy to understand.

(did you know that plath's father had a doctorate from harvard dealing with the cycle of the bumblebee.)


so, somehow, the ants felt logical enough.



An army of ants crawling in,
occupy their demanding home.

"their" meaning plath and ted hughes --- or sylvia and her "daddy" who was so demanding and dictatorial --- or nothing of this kind at all.

i like the poem because of its serious darkness, not because of any possible connection to plath.

the Bell Jar could be the story of your last poem --- the one in which a young girl awakens --- mental illness, the sruggle to establish her talent and her own living space.

your title made me think of this short poem:

Quote:
The moon is door. It is a face in its own right,
White as a knuckle and terribly upset.
It drags the sea after it like a dark crime; it is quiet
With the O-gape of complete despair.
- Sylvia Plath




good job.

a hard hitting poem.


bernie
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[anna]

(My reply to them)

Hi All,

Sorry that I cannot reply each of you. I want to say I am really thankful to all of you. Though I am a little surprised to see many cannot get this poem. In fact, I like this very much not merely because it is written by me.

I see many have the same questions about connections and the eyes, the ants.

This one I hope you can picture a lady make her decision to leave ( a relationship or others which you decide)... the title says it. "A few steps to a door"

her self-portrait was abandaned by her, or others, (the readers decide again) For me, it was abandaned by both since she was trangled in a relationship of losing herself.

So the eyes reflect bitter sweet.... white is the dried tears...

ants crawling in is the reality or the perceptive of the furture of this relationship or the ants make nest on her self portrait. (you decide again)

I will re-read each of your post.

Thanks again.

Regards,

Anna
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

(My reply to them)

Hi All,

Sorry that I cannot reply each of you. I want to say I am really thankful to all of you. Though I am a little surprised to see many cannot get this poem. In fact, I like this very much not merely because it is written by me.

I see many have the same questions about connections and the eyes, the ants.

This one I hope you can picture a lady make her decision to leave ( a relationship or others which you decide)... the title says it. "A few steps to a door"

her self-portrait was abandaned by her, or others, (the readers decide again) For me, it was abandaned by both since she was trangled in a relationship of losing herself.

So the eyes reflect bitter sweet.... white is the dried tears...

ants crawling in is the reality or the perceptive of the furture of this relationship or the ants make nest on her self portrait. (you decide again)

I will re-read each of your post.

Thanks again.

Regards,

Anna
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[anna]

What an intriguing read. It's interesting that she can be speaking both to her portrait and to her actual self. Why not "tells" herself in L1? The tense in the end is present ("occupy"), and the painting "looks" as well. So I see this as all happening in the present.

The deaf ears might refer to the portrait's ears but I'm not sure about that reference. I can't imagine her own ears being deaf because she is speaking to herself and obviously hearing her own words.

It's okay
she tells herself,
in the dark.

I'm not convinced you need the deaf-ears idea, because it's clear that nothing will hear her in this dark and empty room. The ants are indifferent. She seems so isolated.

Why is it a "demanding" home? What does this imply?

The imagery of the honey and snow/soil eyes is wonderful!!! Wow.

Hope this helps.

Brenda
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

What an intriguing read. It's interesting that she can be speaking both to her portrait and to her actual self. Why not "tells" herself in L1? The tense in the end is present ("occupy"), and the painting "looks" as well. So I see this as all happening in the present.

The deaf ears might refer to the portrait's ears but I'm not sure about that reference. I can't imagine her own ears being deaf because she is speaking to herself and obviously hearing her own words.

It's okay
she tells herself,
in the dark.

I'm not convinced you need the deaf-ears idea, because it's clear that nothing will hear her in this dark and empty room. The ants are indifferent. She seems so isolated.

Why is it a "demanding" home? What does this imply?

The imagery of the honey and snow/soil eyes is wonderful!!! Wow.

Hope this helps.

Brenda
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com