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ericcoliu[ericcoliu] ericcoliu作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2007-05-29 帖子: 1393 来自: GTA, Canada
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发表于: 星期三 八月 27, 2008 4:14 pm 发表主题: Eric’s Video |
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Eric’s Video
Eric is a 15-year-old boy, the only son from a middle-class family. He is a video freak and spends most of his time in his room playing with his beloved camcorder. He has gradually become accustomed to experiencing everything through the eye of his camcorder, which gazes onto the street and transmits the signal to a TV monitor.
Fade-in. From a dark alleyway, a shaky, hand-held camcorder captures an open door. A cat is led out of the house and the camcorder follows. Pan to a man standing nearby and pan back to the cat. A gun held by a hand appears in the frame and is pressed toward the cat's forehead. Zoom-in. The gun is fired; the cat falls to the ground. The camcorder closely follows the cat's convulsing body.
Pause. Rewind. The cat is alive again. Play. Slow motion. The cat is dead again. A smile is hanging on the edge of Eric's lip.
Pause. Rewind. And push "play"! _________________ Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul
最后进行编辑的是 ericcoliu on 星期四 八月 28, 2008 8:44 pm, 总计第 2 次编辑 |
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christine[christine] christine作品集 四品府丞 (封疆大吏也!)
注册时间: 2008-02-25 帖子: 304
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发表于: 星期三 八月 27, 2008 7:12 pm 发表主题: |
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A disturbing story about a teenager who has no real, embodied life but views much of his life as distilled through video images. |
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Lake[Lake] Lake作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2006-10-10 帖子: 1341 来自: Sky Blue Water
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发表于: 星期三 八月 27, 2008 7:14 pm 发表主题: |
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Pretty fun. A little different than your usual style.
That you replaced 'pig' with 'cat' is good otherwise I would ask where this took place, on a farm? Now no questions.
I hope this boy can look at the world more objectively with the help of his camcorder.
A quibble: "Eric is a 15-year-old teen", there's nothing wrong with this, just thought 'a 15-year-old' delivered the idea of 'teenager' already. Would 'a 15-year-old boy' be better? Feel free to disregard my thought.
Nice read. |
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu] ericcoliu作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2007-05-29 帖子: 1393 来自: GTA, Canada
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发表于: 星期四 八月 28, 2008 7:31 am 发表主题: |
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christine 写到: | A disturbing story about a teenager who has no real, embodied life but views much of his life as distilled through video images. |
Yes, a real life cannot be paused, rewound, and played again.
Lake 写到: |
A quibble: "Eric is a 15-year-old teen", there's nothing wrong with this, just thought 'a 15-year-old' delivered the idea of 'teenager' already. Would 'a 15-year-old boy' be better? Feel free to disregard my thought.
Nice read. |
Yes, you're right. Thanks for sharing your thought and helpful suggestion. _________________ Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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温暖的水獸[温暖的水獸] 温暖的水獸作品集 五品知州 (再努力一把就是四品大员了!)
注册时间: 2008-04-23 帖子: 153 来自: 水族箱
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发表于: 星期四 八月 28, 2008 11:18 am 发表主题: |
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Lake 写到: |
I hope this boy can look at the world more objectively with the help of his camcorder.
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Can he? Objectivity through and thus framed by the "eye" of a camcorder? _________________ 舌頭那匹温暖的水獸 馴養地在小小的水族箱中 蠕動
那獸說:是的 我願意 |
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Lake[Lake] Lake作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2006-10-10 帖子: 1341 来自: Sky Blue Water
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发表于: 星期四 八月 28, 2008 11:48 am 发表主题: |
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Sorry, I didn't read this as deep as Christine for I was prejudiced by the character's age, 15 years old only. 'He is a video freak' leads me to think that he is indulged in the games, not realizing there is so much going on in such a young mind. Kids nowadays are quite different than those of many years ago when they were so simple-minded, naive.
If I'm bold enough I would say it seems that some members here know each other quite well. No offense, indeed. |
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu] ericcoliu作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2007-05-29 帖子: 1393 来自: GTA, Canada
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发表于: 星期四 八月 28, 2008 8:36 pm 发表主题: |
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温暖的水獸 写到: |
Lake 写到: |
I hope this boy can look at the world more objectively with the help of his camcorder.
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Can he? Objectivity through and thus framed by the "eye" of a camcorder? |
And now in imagination he has climbed
another planet, the better to look
with single camera view upon this earth --
its total scope, and each afflated tick,
its talk, its trick, its tracklessness -- and this,
this he would like to write down in a book [of Life]!
-- A. M. Klein, 'Portrait of the Poet as Landscape' _________________ Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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dundas[dundas] dundas作品集 五品知州 (再努力一把就是四品大员了!)
注册时间: 2008-02-23 帖子: 214
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发表于: 星期六 八月 30, 2008 2:13 pm 发表主题: |
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ericcoliu 写到: |
温暖的水獸 写到: |
Lake 写到: |
I hope this boy can look at the world more objectively with the help of his camcorder.
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Can he? Objectivity through and thus framed by the "eye" of a camcorder? |
And now in imagination he has climbed
another planet, the better to look
with single camera view upon this earth --
its total scope, and each afflated tick,
its talk, its trick, its tracklessness -- and this,
this he would like to write down in a book [of Life]!
-- A. M. Klein, 'Portrait of the Poet as Landscape' |
A well-crafted and relevant quote. _________________ My throat knew thirst before the structure
Of skin and vein around the well
最后进行编辑的是 dundas on 星期六 八月 30, 2008 2:19 pm, 总计第 1 次编辑 |
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dundas[dundas] dundas作品集 五品知州 (再努力一把就是四品大员了!)
注册时间: 2008-02-23 帖子: 214
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发表于: 星期六 八月 30, 2008 2:17 pm 发表主题: Re: Eric’s Video |
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ericcoliu 写到: |
Fade-in. From a dark alleyway, a shaky, hand-held camcorder captures an open door. A cat is led out of the house and the camcorder follows. Pan to a man standing nearby and pan back to the cat. A gun held by a hand appears in the frame and is pressed toward the cat's forehead. Zoom-in. The gun is fired; the cat falls to the ground. The camcorder closely follows the cat's convulsing body.
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The important action in this key scene is written in passive voice. Do you try to hint at Eric's role in his life as a passive observer?
By the way, who is behind this scene? _________________ My throat knew thirst before the structure
Of skin and vein around the well |
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu] ericcoliu作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2007-05-29 帖子: 1393 来自: GTA, Canada
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发表于: 星期日 八月 31, 2008 9:17 am 发表主题: Re: Eric’s Video |
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dundas 写到: |
The important action in this key scene is written in passive voice. Do you try to hint at Eric's role in his life as a passive observer?
By the way, who is behind this scene? |
Yes, Eric is a passive observer of his own life and the lives of others.
The whole story is written from the point of view of the third person omniscient who knows and "manipulates" all the facts and who acts like a film director. _________________ Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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