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Colin Campbell[克林]
Colin Campbell作品集
九品县令
（一不小心，做了官儿了。）
注册时间: 2004-08-07
帖子: 35
来自: 中国云南昆明市
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 发表于: 星期三 五月 07, 2008 9:07 pm 发表主题: Dream of Peace - 永和平梦想 |
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Hi folks,
I'd much appreciate any feedback on my attempt at translating
a little English poem of mine.
永和平梦想
生存只短命
在尽善尽美
而后消失快
有如忘前途
A dream of peace.
There for a moment,
a thing of beauty.
Then faded away
like the forgotten
hopes of youth.
谢谢您
Colin |
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anna[星子安娜]
anna作品集
Site Admin
注册时间: 2004-05-02
帖子: 7141
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| 发表于: 星期三 五月 07, 2008 10:13 pm 发表主题: |
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和平梦想
只在瞬间.
美如青春
遗忘逝去.
Hi Colin,
There is some issues in the structure of your sentence. The way we speak Chinese is different from it in English.
You use some short sentence in English. and that makes it more difficult to translate.
I am glad to see you again. How are you now?
_________________
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Anna Yin
《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...
http://annapoetry.com |
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Colin Campbell[克林]
Colin Campbell作品集
九品县令
（一不小心，做了官儿了。）
注册时间: 2004-08-07
帖子: 35
来自: 中国云南昆明市
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| 发表于: 星期四 五月 08, 2008 3:32 am 发表主题: |
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| anna 写到: | 和平梦想
只在瞬间.
美如青春
遗忘逝去.
Hi Colin,
There is some issues in the structure of your sentence. The way we speak Chinese is different from it in English.
You use some short sentence in English. and that makes it more difficult to translate.
I am glad to see you again. How are you now? |
Hi again Anna,
Thank you so much for fixing my little poem! My use of Chinese language is still very poor - I really must try harder.
I'm now lucky enough to spend the summers in Kunming where I am now and winters down in Malaysia. Great fun!
with kind regards
Colin |
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anna[星子安娜]
anna作品集
Site Admin
注册时间: 2004-05-02
帖子: 7141
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| 发表于: 星期四 五月 08, 2008 9:09 am 发表主题: |
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Hi Colin,
Don't worry. You are good enough.
You know Chinese is very difficult to learn, especially in writing.
That is why I wish to bring my son every two years back to china to improve his chinese.
_________________
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Anna Yin
《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...
http://annapoetry.com |
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christine[christine]
christine作品集
四品府丞
（封疆大吏也！）
注册时间: 2008-02-25
帖子: 304
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| 发表于: 星期四 五月 08, 2008 12:24 pm 发表主题: Re: Dream of Peace - 永和平梦想 |
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| Colin Campbell 写到: |
A dream of peace.
There for a moment,
a thing of beauty.
Then faded away
like the forgotten
hopes of youth.
谢谢您
Colin |
That's The Best of Youth, which is th same title of a six hour film directed by Marco Tullio Giordana. |
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