酷我-北美枫

[何均]

流去不回
何均

喧嚣让我们的耳根不能清净
浮躁却悄悄耗去我们的生命

蓦然回首，月华如水流走
我们的身边走了一拨又一拨人

而自己即将是人流中的一员
流去不回。流去，永不回

我们是否逮住生命的尾巴？
是否还想青春一回，阳光一回？

这时，我们最需要抽身而去
回到内心的名山大川沐浴

吹吹清风，听听流水
然后，融进清风与流水

耳根清净，心灵也清净
做自己的事，走自己的路

让过眼的云烟飘飘而逝
让一现的昙花留下清芬


Gone, No Return
By(China)He jun
Tr. Lake

The noise keeps our mind calmless,
while impetuosity has silently wasted our lives.

A sudden turn-around: moonlight flows like water,
people among us are gone one after another.

And I myself, one of them, will be
gone with no return. Gone, never return.

Are we to hold onto the end of our lives,
to be young again, sunny again?

Now, we must leave and return
to our internal mountains and rivers.

Walk in the breeze listening to the flowing
water, then mesmerize ourselves in it .

keep our ears quiet, soul serene.
Do our own things, go our own way.

Let fleeting clouds and smokes float away.
Let briefly bloomed flowers leave their fragrance.



谢谢Lake。
_________________
何均

[[我还没有昵称]]

流去不回
何均

喧嚣让我们的耳根不能清净
浮躁却悄悄耗去我们的生命

蓦然回首，月华如水流走
我们的身边走了一拨又一拨人

而自己即将是人流中的一员
流去不回。流去，永不回

我们是否逮住生命的尾巴？
是否还想青春一回，阳光一回？

这时，我们最需要抽身而去
回到内心的名山大川沐浴

吹吹清风，听听流水
然后，融进清风与流水

耳根清净，心灵也清净
做自己的事，走自己的路

让过眼的云烟飘飘而逝
让一现的昙花留下清芬


Gone, No Return
By(China)He jun
Tr. Lake

The noise keeps our mind calmless,
while impetuosity has silently wasted our lives.

A sudden turn-around: moonlight flows like water,
people among us are gone one after another.

And I myself, one of them, will be
gone with no return. Gone, never return.

Are we to hold onto the end of our lives,
to be young again, sunny again?

Now, we must leave and return
to our internal mountains and rivers.

Walk in the breeze listening to the flowing
water, then mesmerize ourselves in it .

keep our ears quiet, soul serene.
Do our own things, go our own way.

Let fleeting clouds and smokes float away.
Let briefly bloomed flowers leave their fragrance.



谢谢Lake。
_________________
何均

[晓鸣]

有韵味的翻译。

[[自己的敌人]]

有韵味的翻译。

[星子]

Hi Lake,

Good work. Very flowing and smooth.


wasted may change to "eat away" ? more poetic?

Walk in the breeze listening to the flowing
water, then mesmerize ourselves in it .

need more work, I sense.
_________________

[[ANNA]]

Hi Lake,

Good work. Very flowing and smooth.


wasted may change to "eat away" ? more poetic?

Walk in the breeze listening to the flowing
water, then mesmerize ourselves in it .

need more work, I sense.
_________________

[Lake]

谢谢晓鸣先生的美言。

谢谢星子的建议。

James Wright 的 Lying in a Hammock at William Duffy's Farm in Pine Island, Minnesota 中最后一句 是 I have wasted my life.

所以我想 ‘wasted our lives' 应该可以吧。

另外一句，我再想想。谢谢。

[[Lake]]

谢谢晓鸣先生的美言。

谢谢星子的建议。

James Wright 的 Lying in a Hammock at William Duffy's Farm in Pine Island, Minnesota 中最后一句 是 I have wasted my life.

所以我想 ‘wasted our lives' 应该可以吧。

另外一句，我再想想。谢谢。

[Lake]

修改稿1


The noise keeps our minds clouded,
while impetuosity has silently wasted our lives.

A sudden turn-around: moonlight flows like water,
people among us are gone one after another

And I myself, one of them, will be
gone with no return. Gone, never to return.

Are we to hold onto the tail-end of our lives,
to live young again, sunny again?

Now, we must leave and return
to our internal mountains and rivers.

Walk in the breeze listening to the flowing
water, then immerse ourselves in them.

keep our ears quiet, minds serene.
Do our own things, go our own way.

Let fleeting clouds and smoke float away,
let ephemeral flowers leave their fragrance.


第一句，用'clouded' 代替 ‘calmless'. 'calmless' 字典中没有，自造。
非名人，深恐此种造词“不合法”，故改正。

曾想用 ‘frittered away' 取代 第二行中的 'wasted',这样一来，句子就拉长了，只好舍去不用。

第四节中“ 生命的尾巴“，现译为 'the tail-end of our lives', 既再现了原文，又不至于引起歧义。

第六节中，将'mesmerize' 换成'immerse' ，更准确。

第七节中，用回以前的 minds , 和首句中的 minds 相呼应。

最后一行，用 一个词 ephemeral 代替 briefly bloomed, 更简洁。


谢谢戴珏的启发。

[[Lake]]

修改稿1


The noise keeps our minds clouded,
while impetuosity has silently wasted our lives.

A sudden turn-around: moonlight flows like water,
people among us are gone one after another

And I myself, one of them, will be
gone with no return. Gone, never to return.

Are we to hold onto the tail-end of our lives,
to live young again, sunny again?

Now, we must leave and return
to our internal mountains and rivers.

Walk in the breeze listening to the flowing
water, then immerse ourselves in them.

keep our ears quiet, minds serene.
Do our own things, go our own way.

Let fleeting clouds and smoke float away,
let ephemeral flowers leave their fragrance.


第一句，用'clouded' 代替 ‘calmless'. 'calmless' 字典中没有，自造。
非名人，深恐此种造词“不合法”，故改正。

曾想用 ‘frittered away' 取代 第二行中的 'wasted',这样一来，句子就拉长了，只好舍去不用。

第四节中“ 生命的尾巴“，现译为 'the tail-end of our lives', 既再现了原文，又不至于引起歧义。

第六节中，将'mesmerize' 换成'immerse' ，更准确。

第七节中，用回以前的 minds , 和首句中的 minds 相呼应。

最后一行，用 一个词 ephemeral 代替 briefly bloomed, 更简洁。


谢谢戴珏的启发。

[dundas]

[[dundas]]

[Lake]

Thanks for your suggestion, dundas. At first I used 'epiphyllum', then thought it's too scientific. Is 'cereuses' usually called by people? I'm ignorant of botany. Now I've learned a new word.

Thanks,

Lake

[[Lake]]

Thanks for your suggestion, dundas. At first I used 'epiphyllum', then thought it's too scientific. Is 'cereuses' usually called by people? I'm ignorant of botany. Now I've learned a new word.

Thanks,

Lake

[ericcoliu]

I agree with dundas.

The night blooming cereus is 昙花.

Why did you make me a blooming cereus at night
And leave me buried in oblivion before dawn?

-- The Ancient Scroll
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

[[ericcoliu]]

I agree with dundas.

The night blooming cereus is 昙花.

Why did you make me a blooming cereus at night
And leave me buried in oblivion before dawn?

-- The Ancient Scroll
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

[Lake]

[[Lake]]