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On the Deathbed

 
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anna[星子安娜]
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注册时间: 2004-05-02
帖子: 7141

帖子发表于: 星期四 三月 13, 2008 8:50 am    发表主题: On the Deathbed 引用并回复

Now they all come to see you
and say nice words they never think of.

Their deep remorse confuses you,
What do they regret?

But you only regret
a simple fact:
one battle seems to be a century long.
Who won?
you close your eyes.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com


最后进行编辑的是 anna on 星期日 三月 16, 2008 8:03 pm, 总计第 1 次编辑
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
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二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada

帖子发表于: 星期五 三月 14, 2008 3:46 pm    发表主题: Re: On the Deathbed 引用并回复

A modern deathbed song. Good try.

anna 写到:


Who won?
you close your eyes.


Before you close your eyes, you ask the following two questions:

What have we done to thee, thou monstrous Time?
What have we done to Death that we must die?

-- The Two Highwaymen by Wilfrid Scawen Blunt

My review of it is posted at http://coviews.com/viewtopic.php?t=36652

anna 写到:


to say nice words they never think of.

Their deep remorse confuse you,

one battle seems to a century long.



I think it would be better to re-write them as follows:

and say nice words they never think of.

Their deep remorse confuses you,

one battle seems to be a century long.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul
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hahaview[hahaview]
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六品通判
(官儿做大了,保持廉洁哦)
六品通判<BR>(官儿做大了,保持廉洁哦)


注册时间: 2008-02-07
帖子: 103

帖子发表于: 星期五 三月 14, 2008 4:42 pm    发表主题: Re: On the Deathbed 引用并回复

anna 写到:


But you only regret
a simple fact:
one battle seems to a century long.
Who won?
you close your eyes.


Life is a battle between nothingness and meaning in which each feeds upon the other, drawing sustenance from it and destroying it.
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I came, I saw, and I conquered
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星子[ANNA]
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酷我!I made it!
酷我!I made it!


注册时间: 2004-06-05
帖子: 13192
来自: Toronto

帖子发表于: 星期五 三月 14, 2008 7:49 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

Thank you, Eric.


Yes. You are right. I will revise it.

Anna
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星子[ANNA]
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酷我!I made it!
酷我!I made it!


注册时间: 2004-06-05
帖子: 13192
来自: Toronto

帖子发表于: 星期五 三月 14, 2008 7:50 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

hahaview, Thanks.

True, Life is full of battles.
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christine[christine]
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四品府丞
(封疆大吏也!)
四品府丞<BR>(封疆大吏也!)


注册时间: 2008-02-25
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帖子发表于: 星期六 三月 15, 2008 9:20 am    发表主题: Re: On the Deathbed 引用并回复

anna 写到:


But you only regret
a simple fact:
one battle seems to a century long.
Who won?


A battle against whom or what?
and who is the judge?
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anna[星子安娜]
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注册时间: 2004-05-02
帖子: 7141

帖子发表于: 星期日 三月 16, 2008 8:04 pm    发表主题: Re: On the Deathbed 引用并回复

christine 写到:
anna 写到:


But you only regret
a simple fact:
one battle seems to a century long.
Who won?


A battle against whom or what?
and who is the judge?


This is up to readers.
Thanks for asking . . .
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com
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星子[ANNA]
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酷我!I made it!
酷我!I made it!


注册时间: 2004-06-05
帖子: 13192
来自: Toronto

帖子发表于: 星期六 四月 05, 2008 9:45 am    发表主题: 引用并回复

From Penshell,

Deathbeds have a way of trolling all the emotions to the surface--forgive and be forgiven, regret, shame, blame and the host of bad winds that follows. Then sometimes old wounds are healed and there is closure.

You poem made me think Anna. An honest look inside an intimate gathering.

e
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