Coviews 酷我-北美枫

酷我-北美枫主页||酷我博客

 
 常见问题与解答 (FAQ)常见问题与解答 (FAQ)   搜索搜索   成员列表成员列表   成员组成员组   注册注册 
 个人资料个人资料   登陆查看您的私人留言登陆查看您的私人留言   登陆登陆 
Blogs(博客)Blogs(博客)   
Coviews BBS

Game is over

 
发表新帖   回复帖子    酷我-北美枫 首页 -> English Garden
阅读上一个主题 :: 阅读下一个主题  
作者 留言
星子[ANNA]
星子作品集

酷我!I made it!
酷我!I made it!


注册时间: 2004-06-05
帖子: 13192
来自: Toronto

帖子发表于: 星期一 三月 10, 2008 9:08 pm    发表主题: Game is over 引用并回复

Many voices, loud,
approach to declare,
to rise and make judgment

We become ignored --
Having been waiting so long,
those thunders lost in the distance . . .

What is useful
to harvest the crops,
when no value left after cutting?

We let go of them
those voices that claim
their victory.
_________________


最后进行编辑的是 星子 on 星期二 三月 11, 2008 12:03 pm, 总计第 4 次编辑
返回页首
個人頁面 阅览成员资料 (Profile) 发送私人留言 (PM) Blog(博客) 浏览发表者的主页
ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集

二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada

帖子发表于: 星期一 三月 10, 2008 11:10 pm    发表主题: Re: Game is over 引用并回复

星子 写到:


We become ignoring --
Having waiting so long,
those thunders lost in the distance . . .



Ignoring what? You need to put an object after "ignoring."

Having waiting so long or Having been waiting so long?
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul
返回页首
阅览成员资料 (Profile) 发送私人留言 (PM)
Champagne[Champagne]
Champagne作品集

四品府丞
(封疆大吏也!)
四品府丞<BR>(封疆大吏也!)


注册时间: 2007-09-15
帖子: 394
来自: Nowhere & Everywhere

帖子发表于: 星期二 三月 11, 2008 8:08 am    发表主题: Re: Game is over 引用并回复

An interesting title.
Which game do you refer to? the power game of criticism?

星子 写到:


What is the use,
to harvest the chops,
when no value left underneath?



What is useful
to harvest the crops
when no value is left underneath?
_________________
I'm Champagne,
Bottled poetry with sparkling joy.
返回页首
阅览成员资料 (Profile) 发送私人留言 (PM)
星子[ANNA]
星子作品集

酷我!I made it!
酷我!I made it!


注册时间: 2004-06-05
帖子: 13192
来自: Toronto

帖子发表于: 星期二 三月 11, 2008 8:16 am    发表主题: 引用并回复

Hi Eric,

Thanks for suggestion.

Irgore, I emit the object, it is the voices...


BTW, the game is no win for every one.
_________________
返回页首
個人頁面 阅览成员资料 (Profile) 发送私人留言 (PM) Blog(博客) 浏览发表者的主页
Lake[Lake]
Lake作品集

二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2006-10-10
帖子: 1341
来自: Sky Blue Water

帖子发表于: 星期二 三月 11, 2008 4:13 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

星子,

As the title suggests it should be a powerful poem, but I am afraid because of your expressions it lacks the clarity and I failed to grasp the theme of this poem. Here is my two cents:

引用:
We become ignored


Even though you changed "ignoring" to "ignored", it is still not clear.
"ignored" means "We" are ignored by others, which I think is not what you meant. Are you trying to say We begin to ignore?

引用:
What is useful
to harvest the crops,
when no value left after cutting?


"What is useful", we normally say what's the use of doing sth.
I think my biggest problem with this stanza is its meaning. Harvest is the most valuable thing; even when the crops are cut down, we still possess the fruit of the year's hard work and effort, and the land is at rest preparing for another round of harvest.

I must emphasize these are only my opinion, and other readers may have no problems with the issues I raised.

Having said that, I do feel a kind of undercurrent in this poem.

All the best,

Lake
返回页首
阅览成员资料 (Profile) 发送私人留言 (PM)
星子[ANNA]
星子作品集

酷我!I made it!
酷我!I made it!


注册时间: 2004-06-05
帖子: 13192
来自: Toronto

帖子发表于: 星期二 三月 11, 2008 4:29 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

Hi Lake,

Thanks.

This is a confusing poem, I am still trying to figure out how to express and what do I want to reveal . . .
_________________
返回页首
個人頁面 阅览成员资料 (Profile) 发送私人留言 (PM) Blog(博客) 浏览发表者的主页
从以前的帖子开始显示:   
发表新帖   回复帖子       酷我-北美枫 首页 -> English Garden 论坛时间为 EST (美国/加拿大)
1页/共1

 
转跳到:  
不能发布新主题
不能在这个论坛回复主题
不能在这个论坛编辑自己的帖子
不能在这个论坛删除自己的帖子
不能在这个论坛发表投票


本论坛欢迎广大文学爱好者不拘一格地发表创作和评论.凡在网站发表的作品,即视为向《北美枫》丛书, 《诗歌榜》和《酷我电子杂志》投稿(暂无稿费, 请谅)。如果您的作品不想编入《北美枫》或《诗歌榜》或《酷我电子杂志》,请在发帖时注明。
作品版权归原作者.文责自负.作品的观点与<酷我-北美枫>网站无关.请勿用于商业,宗教和政治宣传.论坛上严禁人身攻击.管理员有权删除作品.


Powered by phpBB 2.0.8 © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group
phpBB 简体中文界面由 iCy-fLaME 更新翻译