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anna[星子安娜] anna作品集 Site Admin
注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141
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发表于: 星期二 二月 26, 2008 3:13 pm 发表主题: Vancouver Night |
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We cannot paint it --
words grow dark.
Waves upon waves,
far from the shore,
drown our silence.
Winds arise
through haunting dreams;
chanting among glinting stars,
they enclose a pearl.
Beyond the ocean,
sorrow cloaks our face.
We let shadows
lean long . . . _________________ ---------------------
Anna Yin
《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...
http://annapoetry.com |
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu] ericcoliu作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2007-05-29 帖子: 1393 来自: GTA, Canada
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发表于: 星期三 二月 27, 2008 8:58 am 发表主题: Re: Vancouver Night |
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Haunting images of a relationship(?) slipping into the dark night.
anna 写到: |
Winds raise
We let shadow
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Two suggestions:
1 Winds raise or Winds arise (but you can say "raise the wind")?
2 We let shadow or We let the shadow (or shadows)?
Just a thought. _________________ Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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星子[ANNA] 星子作品集 酷我!I made it!
注册时间: 2004-06-05 帖子: 13192 来自: Toronto
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发表于: 星期三 二月 27, 2008 9:04 am 发表主题: |
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Hi Eric,
Good suggestions.
Thanks.
Anna _________________
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anna[星子安娜] anna作品集 Site Admin
注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141
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发表于: 星期三 二月 27, 2008 4:42 pm 发表主题: |
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A few other friends suggested me to drop off the last line.
Now I remove
Blue surrounds the night.
Before I add it to echo the beginning... ( We cannot paint it... )
with ending implying "blue is painted) _________________ ---------------------
Anna Yin
《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...
http://annapoetry.com |
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu] ericcoliu作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2007-05-29 帖子: 1393 来自: GTA, Canada
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发表于: 星期日 三月 02, 2008 6:29 pm 发表主题: Re: Vancouver Night |
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anna 写到: |
Winds arise
through haunting dreams;
chanting among glinting stars,
they enclose a pearl.
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Upon the second reading of your poem, I realize that I'm not sure of the use and meaning of "a pearl" in S2.
Can you elaborate more on the connotative meaning of "a pearl?" _________________ Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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anna[星子安娜] anna作品集 Site Admin
注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141
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发表于: 星期日 三月 02, 2008 7:41 pm 发表主题: |
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The pearl is implying Vancouver.
At night, Vancouver is like a pearl in the night ocean. _________________ ---------------------
Anna Yin
《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...
http://annapoetry.com |
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星子[ANNA] 星子作品集 酷我!I made it!
注册时间: 2004-06-05 帖子: 13192 来自: Toronto
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发表于: 星期日 三月 02, 2008 7:48 pm 发表主题: |
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From Penshell...
Much Asian poetry is written in what, to a western reader, can appear as a list of statements. Very definite in character. It adds clarity, and I like that of the genre. But I also feel it stems flow. English, and many other European languages, allow for gentler connections.
Since I've been in Asia for 2 years now, and have visited this part of the world for almost 20 years, on and off, I appreciate much more the mindset that promulgates such a view of the world. It is somewhat paradoxical, though. Asian culture promotes oneness above separation. The west promotes individuality and investigation through analysis of constituant parts. Yet western writers seem to adapt the physical world to a oneness of words, while Asian writers, largely, tend to fuse statements. Of course, I'm talking about those I can read. And that means they're not writing in their first language, which is bound to have a bearing on the final written work.
This is an observation, not a criticism. I feel comfortable with both approaches for their own positives.
best wishes
michael ... _________________
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